Recollections of Grandpa Gates and His Horses

                Roger Noble, a neighbor of Grandpa and Grandma Gates, and Ron Bledsoe, my grandparents' oldest grandson, have made several positive comments over the last couple of years after reading my blog posts. The recollections they shared provided the inspiration for this week’s posting.

           Roger recalled, as a kid, being fascinated with the sight of Grandpa’s workhorses in their stalls. As he rode by Grandpa’s barn, there stood those massive horses. Roger grew up in the Big Bend on his parents’ farm. Their land was located a few miles west of my grandparents’ farm.

  A farmer during the early twentieth century relied heavily on dependable, intelligent horses for transportation, working their farm ground, and providing “horsepower” for tasks on the farm requiring enormous strength. Grandpa had the best he could afford. Work days using the team of horses were long and difficult but provided an adequate living for Grandpa, as well as his large family. My grandparents, just like their horses, were able-bodied, strong-willed, and faced each day with strength and determination.

Grandpa Edmund Gates, Sr. with one of his best teams of workhorses,
Mag and Morgan.

           Ron Bledsoe, my grandparents’oldest grandchild, retold this family story after reading one of my blog posts. Grandpa’s injury occurred about 90 years ago. 

           When Ron read the blog post entitled "No Helicopter Parenting Here" published on February 8, 2015, it brought to mind a story his mother, Ella Gates Bledsoe, had told about Grandpa Gates. Grandpa was trying to get weeds out of a sprocket on a chain-driven piece of machinery. Ron thought it was some sort of binding machine. The horses moved, and before Grandpa could react, the tips of two of his fingers were cut off. In typical “Gates fashion,” he walked to town to get them "sewed up". 
          Ron told his youngest daughter this story. She just looked at him. Children today cannot begin to comprehend the toughness of that generation. Ron stated, "I like to think all of us got some of that Gates toughness to help us deal with today's challenges."
         Ron's mom, my father's oldest sister, related the story of Grandpa's injury. What a frightening time for a little girl to see such a serious injury to her father! Then what a worry to see the man she dearly loved and depended upon the most in all the world begin the long trek to take himself into town to the doctor. How challenging it must have been for little Ella to put out of her thoughts the terrifying wound. The account of this injury impacted Ron since he vividly recalled seeing how Grandpa had the tips gone on two fingers. 
            In Grandpa’s latter years, he told my dad, Edmund Gates, Jr., that he’d like to have a team of mules. My grandmother was appalled that he would even entertain that idea, since she obviously did not recall with such fondness the "good ole days" of working from daybreak to dark. 

            New ways are hard to embrace. Grandpa wanted to keep the tried and true methods. What comfort in the familiar! Horses ensured a slower life, but limited farm production.  However, my father often said, "You've got to get up with the times." He recognized that the inability to embrace progressive methods would impede growth and success.  I recognize that also, but there are days when I can't help but be nostalgic for the lifestyle of yesteryear-yearning for a simpler, slower pace.  

Tailer and the Naked Ladies (Resurrection Lilies)

Our resurrection lilies (Some call these "naked ladies" or "surprise lilies.) are quite sparce in production this year for some reason. This caused me to remember this devotional thought inspired last summer by the orange cat with a tail!

Tailer Ignores Beauty

                The fragrance of the resurrection lilies permeated the back yard. The light pink flowers gorgeously decked out the summer evening. As I gathered the freshly dried clothes from the clothesline, I admired the lovely blossoms from a distance. Then I noticed Tailer weaving in and out of the stately lilies. He paused and glanced up briefly at one of the perfectly curled petals on one of the resurrection lilies. Within seconds, he was on his way hardly noticing the beauty of the summer-blooming lilies.

Tailer caught in the act of indifference to the beautiful resurrection lilies.(Photo taken in 2014)

                Just like Tailer, I thought to myself. The energetic cat's life consists of three primary activities. He loves to be moving. If he is not moving, he is eating vigorously or sleeping soundly. My sister says, “Tailer loves his people.” But even in that, he is in motion, either rubbing the legs of his people or wanting to be stroked. We love him to pieces, but let's face it - it’s all about him.

 Then I thought, Many humans are like Tailer. How many people briefly pause to look at something exquisite in nature, hardly noticing its beauty, and never once giving a second thought to God, the creator of it all? Many of us are not far removed from Tailer’s indifference to breath-taking beauty in nature. Several times a day we see much loveliness and uniqueness around us in nature, yet take very little notice, and definitely give God no thought or credit.

Often we experience some small blessing and instead of breathing a prayer of thankfulness, we move right on to complain about something else. What ingratitude and self-centeredness! How much more uplifting to recognize and acknowledge God’s hand of blessing outstretched to us, instead of snatching the blessing, as an ungrateful child would grab a present with no thought of even mumbling a "thank-you." If we purposefully express gratitude, our focus will shift from what we don’t have to how our lives have been enriched.

I’d love to have Tailer’s endless energy, but I hope to avoid having his indifference to beauty. Instead I would like to concentrate on the gifts of the day, appreciating and recognizing that every good gift and perfect gift comes from above as James 1:17 states.

Lord, give me eyes to see Your daily gifts to me. Then may I have a heart that readily expresses thankfulness to You.

Resurrection Lilies from another flower bed on my parents' farm in 2014.

Remembering Grandma Gates on Her 120th Birthday

When Grandma Gates Put Her Foot Down

Mamie Irene Tripp Gates on her 85th birthday. Her use of
 the sunbonnet to protect her face from the sun each time she
went outside paid off. Her skin looked terrific for her age.

                Today, August 16, marks the 120^th birthday of my paternal grandma, Mamie Irene Tripp Gates. Grandma experienced loss early in her life, at age five, when her father died. (For more about her father’s  death, see the blog posted on September 8, 2013, entitled One of the Hardest Things for a Little Girl to Do.) Her oldest and youngest sons died in infancy. A teenage son was tragically struck by lightning and killed on his birthday. Just a couple of months before her own death, she buried her dearly loved son, Herbert. I never heard her lament or complain once about her lot in life.   

Grandma lived in the present. She preferred discussing her garden or fruit trees over reminiscing over "those old stories" that Grandpa loved to recount.

                Grandma espoused strong principles for living. Dad said he never heard her say a bad word - not a vulgar word or profane expression. Dad usually contrasted that Grandpa cussed and kicked at the boys when they needed correction.
                Within a year before her death, I visited with her at times when it was only she and I. During our visits, she clarified her opinion on relationships, commitment, and marriage. Grandma valued high principles of morality and marriage. She made a special effort to attend as many weddings of her grandchildren as she could. Her presence esteemed and applauded their commitment to marriage.

She worked at her own marriage. Even though Grandma loved to sing and make  music, as well as draw, once she was married, she devoted her life to her husband and children. During the Great Depression, she raised gardens, canned the produce she grew, and worked to maintain a loving home for her family, even though it required immense sacrifice on her behalf. Not to mention that she lived with a “Gates” and we all know that means “hardheaded” or at least – “determined.”

She told me how “Mr. Gates” always did all the banking business. (Incidentally, I only heard her refer to Grandpa as “Papa” or “Mr. Gates.”) She said, "Bernadean, to this day I get nervous whenever I have to go into the bank at Fairfax." The irony was that she proved to be a phenomenally successful businesswoman when she had to make financial decisions herself after Grandpa’s death.

All of this background makes this following account even more powerful. My father, Edmund Gates, Jr., related this early day story to me about the time before his birth when his mother set his dad straight.

According to Dad, my grandpa, Edmund Gates, Sr., regularly had liquor shipped to him from Kansas City. Grandpa was a proud Kansan, feeling about Kansas much the way many Texans hold the Lone Star State in their hearts. One evening he had consumed some of his shipped “potent potable.” Dad related that he was told (probably by Grandma) that Grandpa came into the little two-room house “staggering drunk.” Grandma immediately told him,“You’re not going to do this again. I won’t stay and have you staggering and falling down over these two little girls.” The two little girls playing on the kitchen floor oblivious to their father’s condition were Ella and Mary, the two oldest daughters of my grandparents. To Dad’s knowledge, that was the last time Grandpa “threw a big drunk.”

Ella Gates Bledsoe and Mary Gates Roberts, the two little girls all grown up.

All of Grandma’s children were spared growing up in a household with alcohol being used and abused. Those of us who are her grandchildren reaped the benefits of our grandmother "putting her foot down," even though she was only in her twenties.

It is my prayer that her offspring from the oldest to the youngest would adopt her principles for living their lives. We, as individuals, would benefit. Our relationships, our families, and our communities would profit and be better for following Grandma’s way. On some issues though, we might have to “put our foot down.”

Watching Movie Matinees, Making Wine, and Creating Memories

Mother’s Summer Trips

                My mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, spent a month for two of her childhood summers in 1932 and 1933, with her most-doting aunt and uncle, Emma and Bill Buckley. (To view a childhood photo of Emma see the posting, Alice Rainey – The Valentine Baby posted on February 9, 2014. To learn more about Bill, see the blog posting, The Theater Manager Who Married a Rainey Girl posted on March 22, 2015.) They had no children, and Mother had no siblings. My father has always described my mother  as “quiet.” She sounded like the perfect child to have for a month, especially if the couple was unaccustomed to having a child in the house.

My mother about eight
years of age.

                     Since her uncle managed the theater in Vinita, Oklahoma, Mother was treated to one or two of the latest “talkies” each summer.  With Mother’s musical talent, it is understandable that the most memorable ones  were “Follies-type” extravaganzas – lots of singing and dancing. The beautiful costuming and sets captured her attention even though they had been produced only in black and white.

                Uncle Bill set up a reward system for little Bernyce. She had certain chores to do during the week. She earned a brand, new pair of shoes each summer. What a big deal for a little girl living during the Great Depression!

                Her aunt and uncle lived in one of the more progressive areas of the town. Mother recalls playing with a little girl and her brother  whose parents were doctors at Eastern Oklahoma Mental Hospital.

                Mother’s eyes popped when she accompanied Mrs. Edith Lane and her daughter, Gertrude, on a shopping trip to Tulsa. Gertrude had graduated from high school and was selecting clothes for her first year of college. My mother, as a  little girl, had most of her clothes made by her mother, so was shocked that people paid that much for clothes. Mother admired Gertrude for her statuesque beauty and stylish clothes. The Lane family was friends with Bill and Emma Buckley. Walter Lane would serve Vinita as mayor in the late 1950s.

Portrait of  Gertrude Lane
 in the early 1930s.

Gertrude Lane, the willowy
neighbor of the Buckleys.

               Uncle Bill and Aunt Emma drank a glass of wine with their evening meal. This was unheard of for Mother. She didn’t know that alcohol was prohibited so was delighted to “stomp” the grapes for her aunt and uncle. Mother recalls Aunt Emma carefully washing her feet prior to Mother stepping into the large, wooden barrel to "process" the grapes that they had grown in their yard. I’m not sure when Grandma learned of Mother’s summer activity!

                Mother recalls her time being filled with fun and enjoyment. How amazing that a little girl who had not left the Bend without her parents could have such a pleasurable month with her aunt and uncle and never experience one moment of loneliness and homesickness! Special experiences like these made my mother's life rich and full and created unforgettable memories.

Lou Gates On "Friendship"

                 Lou Gates, my aunt, writes poetry as a hobby. She doesn't share her poetry readily. This is one of the few I have read. It captures the strong friendship she shared with Ann Christensen Goad.

                I have heard the statistic of the rarity of a person who has five lifelong friends. When Friendship Day for 2015 appeared on the calendar today, August 2, it only seemed appropriate to blog about it. One of the finest examples of genuine friendship was eloquently described in a poem penned by Lou Dixon Gates, my paternal aunt.

                She and Ann Christensen Goad met at Burbank High School in 1950. They shared a love of playing basketball and soon found they had other interests in common.

                As the poem depicts, these two kindred spirits shared a common bond that held them together through marriages, bearing four children each, reaching their career goals, and supporting each other amidst sorrow and illness.

                The two “girls” involved their husbands in their friendship as her poem bears out. The four enjoyed  attending many sporting events together. They took in the yearly farm show, making it a two-day adventure.
                I recall Uncle Jim Gates regretting that he didn’t go visit Forrest “Frosty” Goad, Ann’s husband, for the last time. Uncle Jim has had innumerable rounds of chemotherapy to combat the Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma that has invaded his body. I remember sharing a scripture verse that had encouraged me when the constraints of life prevented me from doing all I would like to do for a person or in a situation. Jesus spoke of Mary of Bethany, responding to criticism of her anointing him with costly perfume, with these words recorded in Mark 14: 8, “She has done what she could.” He went on to explain that her action would be an ongoing memorial of her love for Him. A true friend understands our limitations and loves us, truly valuing any expressions of genuine friendship, no explanations or apologies needed, 

                The writer of Proverbs inspired by the spirit of God wrote in Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times.” My aunt’s poem illustrates this Biblical principle. She and Ann lived out this verse throughout their lives.

Lou Gates

Friends

Two Girls

One country girl

Outside chores and walked a lot

One city girl

Inside jobs and walked a little

School together

Science, Miss Mantooth

History, Mrs Brandenburg

English, Mrs Norman

Typing, Gussie

Drivers Ed, Mr Stegall

Change gears going up school hill

Basketball

Mr Stegall

Wasn’t as old as we thought

Bus rides

Girls to the front, boys to the back

Teamwork, signals, plays

Noon hour

Joe Hedge drug

Coke in a bottle

Spearmint gum a nickel pkg

Sat nights

Fairfax a must

One dollar paid for

Hamburger, Malt, Movie and Dance

Boys

Dated several

Picked two,

Wouldn’t you know they were both coon hunters

Each of the four

Accepted Christ as Savior

The city girl moved to the country

Walked a lot

The country girl move to city

Walked little

Busy life four children each

Church

School

Ballgames

Home

As promised

Thru thick and thin

Grace, Mercy and Peace

FRIENDS