The Wide Gate and the Wayward Calf

                 This summer, one of the 2020 calves, an adventuresome white steer, insisted on getting into the trap. Numerous times, I walked down with my extraordinarily long sticks (basically long skinny limbs) that extend my short arms. Slowly veering widely around the delinquent calf, I quietly unlatched the gate carefully opening the gate widely. Then I moved stealthily, gently influencing the errant little Charolais mix, with a soft, calm voice assuring him, using my long sticks to guide him to the open gate. In seconds, the white bovine ran to join the rest of the herd.

The Preferred  "Broad" Way for the White Steer

                As I approached the wide-opened gate, lifting it back to the gate post and latched it, the wide-opening caused me to remember the somber words of Jesus from Matthew 7:13-14:

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.

Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

                I recalled a previous time with this same wayward calf and a narrow opening. Getting him out through that opening was unsuccessful. What a grave illustration of the words of Jesus describing the two choices for each human!

The "Narrow" Way

                More than any time in the history of mankind, the gate to destruction appears an enormously broad expanse, such an enormous opening that can hardly be avoided. Ruinous behavior, influences and activities seem to drive, propel, prod, and coerce mankind through the wide gate that Jesus warned to avoid. Most deceptive of this broad way is the enormity of people who crowd every inch of it leading to the thought, Surely all these people can’t be wrong. King Solomon wrote of the hazard of the broad road in Proverbs 14:12 – There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

                My memory of the unsuccessful movement of the little white steer through narrow gate opening reminded me of his difficulty locating the small gap. His peripheral vision made it seem too restrictive for him. This must be unsafe, must be a trap. Much like the unruly steer, humans react negatively to Jesus being the only way to life, heaven, and contentment. It appears constrictive, limiting one’s creativity, and stifling to happiness.

                Yet countless people from my past have responded to the call of the Lord by following Him on the narrow road with intrinsic and eternal rewards. King Solomon of Israel also wrote of the only way of salvation through Jesus in Proverbs 15:24 – The way of life winds upward for the wise, That he may turn away from hell below.

                As I revisited this memory of the feisty steer’s persistence, the thought surfaced of our own waywardness from God. The only solution required Jesus "humble Himself" by taking on a human body, enter our world and give His life on the cross thus making salvation possible "for as many as received Him." 

               Finally,  I recalled one of Billy Graham’s favorite hymns entitled And Can It Be? written by Charles Wesley almost 300 years ago. A couple of lines persisted in my mind. May these words encourage you if you are on the narrow road. If you are still on the broad road, may you respond to the call of Jesus to go through Him, the narrow gate, and follow Him on the narrow road to heaven.

Amazing Love!

How can it be

That Thou my God

Shouldst die for me?

Friendship at Age 96

                On October 17^th, my mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, celebrated her 96^th birthday. Especially when I come in from “town” or church, I rattle off the names of people who asked about her. Since she is such an introvert, it always surprises her. She considered Dad the “outgoing one” who never met a stranger and considered everyone he met his friend.

                Almost all her friends are younger than she and some of them quite a bit younger than her. Pre-COVID-19 era, each Sunday, Mother would stand at her seat in our sanctuary during the fellowship time of our morning worship service as friends of all ages came to greet her with hugs or handshakes. 

                Mother has retained a few of friends for more than seven decades. Two close friends grew up with her in the Bend and attended Belford Grade School, too. Lora Jean and Betty Jo Woods, two sisters, met Mother in their early elementary years. The Smith and Woods families lived life together during the 1930s and early 1940s. (Here is a link to a blog post about the families and some experiences. (https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/07/softball-singing-and-skin-tests.html )

                A few years ago, Angie, my sister, hosted a soiree for the three friends at her home in Jenks. Johnnie Alene “Pood” also joined them. She was the youngest of the five girls in the Woods family. They laughed, shared old stories, recalled memories, and laughed some more. Dad enjoyed the conversation, too, since he had worked for Perry Woods, the father of Lora Jean, Betty Jo, and Johnnie Alene. Lora Jean and Betty Jo Woods now live in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Sadly, Johnnie Alene has died since their memorable afternoon.

Dad, Mother, Lora Jean, "Pood" and Betty Jo.

                June Moore Loyd, a friend Mother met in high school at Burbank in 1941, continues to live in Arkansas. She surprised Mother when she arrived at my parents’ 50^th wedding anniversary. June braved a rainy March morning, driving from Springdale, Arkansas, by herself to celebrate with Mother. As with most of Mother’s friends, June and Mother laughed over and over that afternoon. (A link to an earlier blog post about a fun time shared by June and Mother can be accessed at: https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/04/oh-no-he-has-corsage.html  )

Lela, Mother and June laughing
and enjoying my parent's 50th 
wedding in March of 1998

Upon looking at this photo of June, Lela Lieber Stewart and herself from the 50^th wedding anniversary, Mother recalled so many times of staying with Lela at the Lieber home in Burbank in the early 1940s. Lela had an older sister, Betty, and two younger brothers, Clarence and Philip. Mrs. Lieber, Lela’s mother, was categorized as a “stern parent” but Mother found her to be a kind host every time she visited their home.

                One memory of a visit with Lela, her dear friend, centered around a box supper being held in Burbank of which Mother was unaware. (A box supper involved teen girls/women in the community preparing a decorated box containing tasty treats. Interested boys/men bid on the boxes to raise money for various community activities.) Mother found herself relying totally on Mrs. Lieber as she included Mother in the event by preparing her box along with the one for Lela. Mother watched in amazement as Lela’s mother ground bologna and mixed other ingredients that Mother was too shy to question. Normally, Mother said my grandma purchased specific cold cuts for the sandwiches plus luscious fruit for Mother’s box for a Bend box supper. Mother’s eyes widened at the delicious taste when she sampled the flavorful bologna filling for the sandwiches. We tried to duplicate Mrs. Lieber’s sandwich spread unsuccessfully. Just days before Lela’s death, her daughter, Janice, and I visited. I asked her about her grandma’s bologna spread, but she regretted having no recipe for it, either. 

Mother, Lela, Janice, her daughter. Standing in front are Janice's
daughters, Kristen and Nicole at the Burbank High School Reunion
 Reunion in 2008.

               On the eve of turning 96, Mother remembered no-nonsense Mrs. Lieber’s reminder as she, Lela, and Lela’s sister prepared to go out one evening. She said to her teenage daughters, “Girls, remember, you are members of the Baptist church.” Even though Mrs. Lieber hardly left their home, she valued the truth of the Word of God held up by the church. She reinforced to her daughters that the one to whom they had made a commitment should influence their behavior and choices even when having a good time. To this day, Mother recalls the profound admonition of her friend’s mother.

                Mother received an early e-mail birthday greeting from Thelma (Johnson) and J.D. Frank, former Benders who reside in Tulsa. They rode the long bus ride together to Burbank. J.D. is only a couple of years younger than Mother, so they were upper classmen who both strived for excellence in their academic studies. Thelma told me once what a genuine friend Mother was to her when she moved into the Bend. Mother remembered being so concerned about Thelma’s relationship with the Lord. She recalled maybe being “pushy” with her faith. Thelma and J.D. have been married over 70 years, still live in their home, live independently and express thanks to the Lord. Thelma wrote of their friendship “When we were kids in the Bend we never thought of the three of us knowing each other in our 90s.”

                Finally, the most sustaining friendship for 78 years has been her relationship with God because of the sacrificial death of His Son. At age 18, she publicly professed her life-altering faith in Jesus. That friendship influenced her choice to marry my father. The close friendship with God steered her parenting philosophy of my sister and me according to God’s outline in His Word instead of popular societal methods. His friendship supported her through the deaths of her parents within 7 months of each other – quite a grief for an only child. Day by day, the Lord carried her through the lengthy illness leading to Dad’s death. May we all have this eternal friendship that James wrote of in the book bearing his name, in chapter 2, verse 23 –

And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.

Happiest of Birthdays to You, Mother!

Moving Beyond Bitterness

Our shared biography cost 50¢
but now a new copy is available 
online for over $800!

With the deadline looming for the blog posting, this memory of  Clara Barton's experience of overcoming bitterness popped into my mind, causing me to locate this elementary-level biography of one of America's most famous nurses from the book shelf. (I had written about bitterness in the blog for 10/04/2020.)  Mother let me order it from the Scholastic Book Club in 1967. An inscription inside has my name and the date. Angie and I shared everything so you notice her name is on the front upper right corner of the paperback book.

This week I spotted the area where the old stump had stood for many, many years. What joy to see that grass is flourishing, even in this season of drought!

As I walked back to the house, Clara Barton, the founder of the American Red Cross, came to mind. Immediately, after seeing her Civil War- era photograph in my mind, I recalled hearing of Barton’s dealing with the battle against bitterness.

Luis Palau, the late Argentinian evangelist, wrote in his book, Experiencing God’s Forgiveness, of Barton’s approach to bitterness and forgiveness. Palau wrote of an egregious offense against Clara Barton being brought into a conversation many years after the wrong was done to her. When someone tried to reopen old wounds, Palau wrote that one of the most renowned 19^th century women, Clara Barton responded, “I distinctly remember forgetting it.” Clara Barton assured the person she had made a choice to forget the wrong done to her. The case had closed for this famous American woman on that chapter of bitterness in her life.

Clara Barton, nicknamed the Angel of the Battlefield, learned to let go of offensive actions targeted against her. Her release of the bitterness and hurt enabled her strength and effort to be exerted on positive, life-effecting, and societal-altering endeavors.

As I reflected on Barton’s response, focusing on praising God for forgiving our own sins turns us away from an obsession with our offender’s sin. Instead, we begin to clearly see our own shocking sins that  have been committed purposefully with rebellious hearts.  At other times, we have sinned because of our thoughtless, casual neglect of obeying His principles, almost imposing impudently and willfully on His loving forgiveness.

Meditating on the overarching truth that we have been forgiven becomes the only way to minimize the offenses others have committed. When we maximize the undeserved mercy, grace, and forgiveness He has given to us, our hearts are overwhelmed with thankfulness for God’s lavish compassion toward us. Then He takes the bitterness away.

May these powerful words of Jesus recorded in Matthew 6:14-15 guide our thoughts and actions –

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

The Old Stump

                Summer mowing is more manageable if obstacles are removed. I mow two areas that were “chicken yards” when I was growing up. In those days, the chickens “mowed” these areas beautifully with the hens (flock of 200-500 depending upon the year) earning enough money with their eggs for the groceries to feed the six of us – my parents, my maternal grandparents, my sister, and me.

                For several years since accepting the responsibility of mowing, a few obstacles slow my mowing each time. One source of irritation has been a stump of a cedar tree with two bottomless buckets around the stump to ensure no one got “hung up” on it.

The Old Stump

                Late this summer, I decided to inspect the stump. To my surprise, two large pieces of the stump moved. With ease, I pulled them out of the protective bottomless buckets and then removed the buckets, too. Left standing was a thin section of the stump still being held in the ground by a stubborn root. I pulled and twisted on the strong splinter of the cedar stump until finally it came loose.

The small, but stubborn root is evident on the
upper right of the photo.

               As I carried the stump’s remnants to the trailer, tossing it on other brush to be hauled off, I thought of the scripture written by the writer of Hebrews about the root of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 states: 

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

                How often a person will hold onto bitterness! The writer of Hebrews implies that a “root of bitterness” can interfere with obtaining the grace of God. Without the grace of God, we cannot receive the salvation bought by the death of Jesus on the cross for us. Grace means “getting something we do not deserve.” In no way do we deserve forgiveness, as well as being made alive when we were dead in our sins.

                Frequently, a bitter attitude is guarded or protected, almost daring any effort to remove it, just as the two old, bottomless buckets guarded the stump I mowed around. Frequently, an attack, insult or hurt looms so egregious and vicious in one’s memory.* The one offended reasons letting go of it would only let the perpetrator or offender “off the hook.”

In Romans 12:19, Paul restated a phrase from the Old Testament, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Each person must refuse to retain the root of bitterness in one’s heart but turn it over to the Lord of all justice who will get retribution for wrongs done to us and lavishly give us undeserved salvation and new life.

The Apostle Paul admonished Christians in Ephesians 4:31, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Even after we have entered a relationship with Jesus, these temptations can creep into our lives and impede our growth. We must allow the Lord to remove these evil tendencies from us. Just as I removed the stump that interfered with the mowing and made the task so much easier, so allowing our loving Savior to deal with these troublesome areas brings productivity, peace and contentment to our lives.

The spot soon after the stump was removed. Grass
has begun to grow back since this photo. 

* Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown's renowned Commentary on the Whole Bible explains that "root of bitterness"  is a person, a principle, a doctrine or a practice "so radically corrupt as to spread corruption all around."  My personal comment - Bitterness never affects only one person. In the same way, as a "bitter" principle, doctrine or practice has ever-widening circles of infectiveness so does a person bitter over an offense negatively impact almost anyone they contact.