Sunday, February 26, 2023

The Family Connection to the 120th Anniversary of the Founding of Fairfax

            Several historical sources give "1903" as the year of the founding of Fairfax . This month seemed a good time to highlight the beginning of Fairfax's post office along with Grandpa Gates's early job in his mid-20s.

             My paternal grandpa, Edmund Gates, Sr. came to Fairfax in the early 1900s and helped A.C. Hunsaker on plumbing jobs. In the book From a Field of Cane, The Early Years of Fairfax, Oklahoma 1903-1913, A.C. Hunsaker is identified as one of the early founders of Fairfax starting his long-running hardware, furniture, and undertaking businesses. Initially, these all operated out of the same building. Whether you needed a casket or gasket, you could get it from A.C. Hunsaker in the brand-spanking new town whose post office opened on February 16, 1903!* The forward-looking pioneers who had relocated from Gray Horse to this new government townsite kept Edmund, Sr. busy installing plumbing in their new homes and businesses. 

The first postmark from the opening day of the
Fairfax Post Office. Scanned from A Field of 
Cane, The Early Years of Fairfax, Oklahoma
1903-1913

            Edmund, Sr.’s cousin, Edith Gates Harrington, and her family had settled in Fairfax. Her husband A.C. -- who coincidentally had the same initials as Mr. Hunsaker, Grandpa's boss-- was installing acetylene lights. In the early 20th century, streetlights and lights in buildings were often acetylene lights.

          Many years earlier, in Edith's preteen years, Edmund, Sr. had been taken to her family's home from his own home where only sign language was used by his deaf parents. For a time in Edmund, Sr.'s young life, he lived with Edith's family in Illinois. 

            The extended trip for little preschool-aged Edmund, Sr. was planned by his father, John Fredrick. Both of my grandfather’s parents were deaf, but Great-Grandpa John Fredrick did not lose his hearing until age 14 due to illness. He knew that his eldest child could hear and needed to learn to speak with his vocal cords and not just his hands. In those days, this seemed the best way to prepare little Edmund, Sr. for the world ahead of him but left Elizabeth, my great-grandmother, inconsolable as her little boy rode away to Illinois. 

As a preschooler, Grandpa soon formed a strong bond with the family of his uncle, Robert Gates in Illinois. His wife and children, Ira, Edith, and Lois welcomed the disquieted little one. Edith, at around age seven or eight appeared to help him adjust after being uprooted from his own family in Mulberry, Kansas. The family prepared him to return to his younger siblings and teach the them to speak. Just as important, the readiness his aunt and uncle and the cousins provided proved invaluable as he began school soon after his return to Kansas.

Edmund, Sr. seemed to have been influenced to come to the new town from Kansas by his closeness to Edith. Even though she was a cousin, she seemed more like a big sister to Grandpa. The ways her family helped him learn to speak opened a whole new vista to Grandpa and enabled him, as a young child, to return to his family’s farm in Kansas and teach Merry (pronounced like Marie), aged 4, and Ella, aged 1, to speak. Grandpa would later teach his only brother, John, born about a year after Grandpa returned, the many skills needed to navigate a hearing world.

Edith Gates Harrington and her husband, A.C.,
in a photograph taken in 1936. Edith, a daughter
of Robert Bell Gates, the uncle of my grandpa,
Edmund Gates, Sr. Edith was seven years older 
than Grandpa. She was born in Woodbine,
Illinois, in 1870. 

            Some viewed older men of yesteryear as gruff and insensitive. How easily Grandpa could have experienced detachment disorder as he was uprooted not once but twice from two different families with whom he had bonded  - his own family and then the family of his Uncle Robert! Yet at least three of his daughters, my aunts, spoke to me with deep affection in their voices for their beloved "Papa" indicating with their words and tone how they loved him for being a good father.
              These verses from the letter written by James, the half-brother of Jesus, reminds us of the way to deal with difficulties as believers. May James 1:2-4 become the beacon to guide our lives when we seem to be in dark, treacherous moments of our lives.
Dear ones, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don't try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.
The Living Bible


*Source of beginning date of the Post Office at Fairfax, Oklahoma https://about.usps.com/

Sunday, February 19, 2023

Dean Rice Littlestar

 This past Monday, Dean Littlestar, Mother’s only living cousin, passed from this life to be forever with the Lord she loved and served.

According to my grandmother's family records, Delores Dean Rice was born on October 27, 1932, in Belford west of Ralston. This darling of her mother probably earned that recognition since she was the last baby to be born to Ernest and Daisy Rice.
            "Dean" as she came to be known, was Daisy's daughter but had the fire of her aunt, Gladys Rainey Smith, my grandmother. She was creative like my grandma since she trained her little blind dog to clean under the kitchen table, lessening Dean's need to sweep with the broom!

     Dean Rice - the most serious
     photo I have seen of her. It is the
     earliest photograph of Dean in
    Grandma's vintage photograph
    collection. Afterthought - maybe
    that determined look enabled her
    to accomplish so much.
     
            Her musical talent was on full display during the Christmas season of 1944. For the Christmas program that year, my mother taught Dean, Marilyn,their other cousin, and Nadine Clifton to sing “White Christmas” in three-part harmony. That level of singing was quite an accomplishment for the three preteens, as well as for my mother who coached them to a flawless performance! Singing three-part harmony was quite a feat for girls from a country school!  Another similarity with her Aunt Gladys because Grandma was a note-perfect alto singer.

          Dean married Al Littlestar, a tall, handsome young man of Osage descent. Dean had an out-going personality much like that of my Grandma. Both Al and my grandpa, Calvin Callcayah, also of Native American descent - Cherokee, would be considered reserved compared to Dean and Grandma.
            Grandma did much nursing pro bono during the Great Depression and World War II. As soon as Dean was old enough, Grandma discovered that Dean enjoyed assisting her with caring for the sick in the community. From that point on, the twosome headed out on many medical adventures in the Big Bend.
     
       This desire to reach out and help others continued when Dean and Al moved from the Bend. She loved to entertain. An amazing account in her life involved friends from Texas coming to visit Dean and Al in Colorado. Shockingly, the couple's baby arrived early. The couple sadly had to return to their home in Texas before the baby could be released from the hospital’s care. So, who visited the preemie every day—their friend, Dean. She delighted in checking on that little one until the joyous day of discharge came.

Gary, Dean, Al, and Mark Littlestar in 1978.

          Dean told me one of her sons asked about the origin of the family's legacy of faith. Dean replied, "Aunt Gladys - she made sure we were in the community Sunday School and church." Grandma was pushy with her faith much to the disgust of those who didn't share her love of the Lord. She was an aggressive believer in Jesus and His impact on her life. She felt she had lost the first thirty years of her life since she did not commit her life to Him until her father's death just prior to her thirty-first birthday. She didn't want any one else to delay repenting and receiving the power to live a life pleasing to Him.
           Dean continued ministering to women through prayer groups and Bible studies. Being a cancer survivor caused many hurting women to listen to her witness for Christ and ask for her prayers.
My mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, and Dean Rice Littlestar enjoying 
the Burbank High School Reunion in the Summer of 2008.
            All of us who knew and loved Dean have memories by which her legacy continues - her infectious laughter, her love and concern for people, her loving devotion to her family, and love of the Lord with a wholehearted commitment that she lived out daily. She would tell us to laugh often and cheerfully. Her advice would insist we genuinely love those God sends across our paths. With pride and admiration, her eyes would light up as she admonished us to sacrificially love our families in ways that deeply enrich their souls. Finally, she would implore every loved one, friend, and acquaintance to prepare for death, as she had, by receiving Jesus and committing to follow Him daily with loving obedience.

 

Sunday, February 12, 2023

The Valentine's Day Baseball Game

                Elementary school holiday parties were festive times that grade school kids anticipated when my sister and I were students at Ralston School. Parties were planned each year for Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter.

                Our mother always chose to provide refreshments for our Valentine’s Day parties. Angie always looked forward to Mother coming for the Valentine's Day party. On Valentine's Day, Mother arrived, parked in the front of the school, carried her tasty goodies in the school building, and deposited them in Angie’s classroom.

Angie's Class from the 1969 RHS Yearbook

Mother then exited the building to the playground where Angie’s class enjoyed a recess before they exchanged valentines and enjoyed the treats their mothers prepared for the special day. Just as Mother arrived on the playground, one of the boys had batted what would have been most likely a home run, but Mother in her heels and suit of pink-flecked navy caught the ball with her bare hands. (Mother swears it came right to her and she instinctively snagged the fly. No elementary children were knocked down for her to retrieve it.) Angie’s mom became the star of the Valentine's Day baseball game. Bernyce Gates’s stock went up with the boys playing the recess baseball game. I recall being told John Powell, the son of Owen and Clara Powell, was wowed at the athletic capability of “Angie’s mom”! I guess it did not matter what she was wearing! Ironically, her own name was not lauded but just her moniker, Angie’s mom.

Mother in the suit created by
Grandma Gladys with Angie -
cropped from a family photo.


Often women of yesteryear became mothers committed to the well-being and success of their families. Realizing they couldn’t maintain their involvement in hobbies and still meet the demands of children, the personal interests were often given less and less time. They loved their husbands and children and made their primary goal creating a home, a sanctuary to which each family member could return after a taxing day.

Mother, as a gifted musician, relinquished all time for practicing the piano. She had been so active in playing basketball and softball and running track – all of which she loved to do. Much like her mother-in-law, our grandma, Mamie Irene Tripp Gates, most of that faded away. Ella Gates Bledsoe, my father’s oldest sister, lamented that her mother most desired to draw and make music, but her time and energy were devoted to raising her large family.

Both women, my mother and paternal grandmother, prepared three meals “from scratch” without dishwashers or microwave ovens. Laundry initially was done in a large tub with a washboard and must be dried on a clothesline. Summer, a labor-intensive season, involved processing garden vegetables and domestic and wild summer fruit, primarily by canning over a hot stove in a kitchen without air conditioning. Both processed the milk from the cow’s twice-a-day milking, skimming cream, churning butter and sometimes making cottage cheese. Almost everything my mother and grandmother did was for the benefit of someone else, whether sewing, mending, or patching or the 101 other family needs.

                I admire mothers (and fathers) who place the needs, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or intellectual, before their own personal desires. In so many children’s lives, mothers and fathers exhibiting this sacrificial attitude toward their children is sorely lacking.

                May all of us, even if not parents of little ones, live out this inspired admonition of the Apostle Paul penned in the letter to the Romans, chapter 15, verse 1 as translated in the Tree of Life Version.

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of the powerless and not just please ourselves.

Sunday, February 5, 2023

Remembering Woody and Nathaniel Hawthorne on a Cold Day

            The cold weather of the past month unearthed memories of over 50 years ago. Frigid temperatures propel me sometimes into headaches, which I make a conscious effort to avoid at all cost. I don my below freezing uniform when the temperature dictates. It is cumbersome but warm and staves off those headaches.

             Recently as I awaited the filling of the livestock water tank, Wayne “Woody” Morris came to mind. In my memory, Woody usually wore a jean jacket. His stalwart ability to withstand brutally cold weather astounded me. That fearless toughness amazed me.

Wayne Morris in his junior year as
published in the RHS 1971 yearbook.

He was energetic and often had a comment about whatever was happening. If  Debbie Hightower and I were not visiting on the long bus rides or I didn't have a good book to devour, just listening to Woody entertained me.

I don’t remember not knowing Wayne. We attended Vacation Bible School together when I was a preschooler at the Big Bend Baptist Church. He lived just down the hill east of the church in the house where my mother had been born. His mother mesmerized me with her piano artistry from the very first time I heard her play as an extremely young child. 

1960 VBS program at Big Bend Baptist Church -L to R -  Bernadean
 Gates, Rick Rice, Wayne Morris, and Mike Mitchell. (My curl-resistant
hair was permed. Can-cans were all the rage.)

As water continued filling the livestock tank, another memory emerged from the deep recesses of my mind relating to Wayne’s junior year when he was assigned the reading of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic, The House of the Seven Gables. Mrs. Diane Coke, a gifted English teacher, taught all high school English classes. One afternoon, Wayne boarded the bus for the ride home. He was perplexed. The date rapidly approached to have the highly revered American novel completed for his junior English class. Uncharacteristically for Wayne, he conveyed concern about not getting credit for this English class. My cousin, Thomasine Rainey, chimed in about the onerously descriptive nature of Hawthorne’s writing, “Why he takes a whole page to describe a doorknob!”

My brain began to work. I recalled my collection of Classics Illustrated, condensed versions of classical books in comic book form.

I had acquired my collection at a younger age. Mother drove us in for piano lessons during the summer. If she had to get a few groceries items, sometimes she allowed Angie and me to choose a small item. My choice was always one of the many Classics Illustrated that Leroy and Esther Brumley had in their store.

The next morning, I slipped my copy The House of the Seven Gables from my Classics Illustrated collection. On the bus, I asked Wayne quietly if this would help him with his English assigned reading. He responded with gratitude probably a little louder than I wanted since I knew Mrs. Coke wanted him to read the book not a comic book. I knew I would rather downplay the crafty aspect of my assistance to Woody with the English assignment and keep it “on the sly.”

As I thought about the unenthusiastic
attitude Wayne had about reading the
original version of this, I recalled my
 dad replying when I wondered why
some third graders, usually boys, did
 NOT like to read firction. but always
chose nonfiction. Dad said, "Who
wants to read made-up stuff?"

Within days, Woody bounded onto the bus with exuberance overflowing. He had received credit for reading The House of the Seven Gables! As he handed me the comic book version of the classic assigned by Mrs. Coke, he declared with honesty and conviction, “I could kiss you!” My intense timidity made me want to crawl under the bus seat, but I was very glad I had helped him pass his junior English course.

The stock tank was almost lip-full when a sobering, sorrowful event came into my mind. I recalled standing with many teenagers along the walls of the old Assembly of God Church in Fairfax, Oklahoma. As a 16-year-old, along with the entire community and the Ralston High School, we were mourning the untimely death of Wayne. Even though I had never been shielded from death, this was different. It was someone almost exactly two years older than me. He was only 18 years old!

After turning off the frost-free hydrant and covering its handle and spout, I returned to the house. Later that night I accessed the findagrave site and soon located the memorial for Wayne at:  https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/129892435/farrel-wayne-morris. I realized his family had chosen a verse that brings comfort beyond measure. Jesus spoke these words to a grieving sister over her brother’s death. Yet our wholehearted belief in Jesus remains as powerful today as when He spoke these words:

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me though he may die, he shall live.” John 11:25

When we have a life-altering belief in Jesus, He gives abundant life for our daily lives and everlasting life for the never-ending future.