Who Do You Walk Like?

            One early morning this week, I walked quietly into the house after feeding the cats. I didn’t remove my boots. As I put on the counter the empty carton that held tantalizing scraps craved by our farm cats, I walked softly so as not to disturb my mother who was still resting. With my meticulous care, the boots still made a noticeable, but muffled, rhythmic sound. As I stopped to pull them off, I could hear in my memory that very same cadence produced by my father’s boots.

Dad and I preferred the same style of waterproof knee boots - Wellingtons. He bought the cheapest ones he could find and when they began to show wear, he pulled out the gray, duct tape to repair them. They were usually only replaced at his wife or daughters’ insistence. On the other hand, I like the Muck Boot Company’s Hale boot for women. 

I finally pulled out my birthday gift given by
Mother since the sole of one of my summer
 boots had part of its tread coming undone. I
had glued the tread on twice during the dry 
summer! The first day I wore these new boots
many things went wrong, but I came in 
announcing to Mother, "At least these boots
 were comfortable!"

            As I put up the boots as quietly as possible, I began wondering if even though our boots were so different, was it Dad’s DNA in me that made our morning steps so similar? Maybe it stemmed from Dad’s sensitivity that I had inherited. He never wanted to wake Mother up. Many times, I heard him tell me, “Let her sleep.” He remembered those incalculable mornings that Mother awakened at 5 a.m. to fix a big breakfast and nourishing lunch for him to take to the building site.

As I sat down for my Bible study, I kept thinking about what the Bible says about walking. The Apostle John wrote in I John 2:6 this admonition: The one who claims to abide in God ought to walk just as Jesus walked.

John had written this letter to reiterate God is light, love, and life. John specified our connection with God is realized only through Jesus. The above verse adamantly explains if we “claim” to abide in God, we will walk as Jesus walked. How do we know how Jesus walked? That is known only through reading and studying God’s Word. It is mandatory for us to study the words of Jesus, the heart of Jesus, and His actions toward others. We want to identify those things He loved. Never should we shy away from acknowledging the things He hated. We should be in total agreement with Him. John emphatically states if we are in God, our behavior will mirror Jesus.

So as a believer who should we walk like? John told us to walk like Jesus. I’m reminded of a frequently used quote by our pastor, Mike Brock. He says, “Your life may be the only Bible some people ever read.” If we truly walk like our Lord and Savior, then others may want a relationship with Him, too.

Chives in the Soup

             One cool day this fall, Mother and I agreed on soup. I had thawed a dab of stew meat from the freezer. Mother seasoned it and soon it sizzled a bit as it browned in the large pot.

Our assessment the previous night revealed no onions. Mother wasn’t too disappointed. Her digestive system prefers milder vegetables. I exclaimed, “Mother, I spotted chives growing in several places in the back yard. Why don’t I get some tomorrow morning?” She approved.

Three Clumps of Chives in the back yard. This 
week more than I have ever seen have sprung up!

I zipped out with scissors and a pan the next morning. So many clumps of chives dotted the slightly overgrown lawn. Soon I had plenty of the snipped chives for the soup. As I cut them into smaller pieces, the mild pungency of the chives wafted to my nose. Setting them aside, I began peeling a few potatoes.

I pulled out of the refrigerator the whole tomatoes that I had thawed the previous night. Those tomatoes had been grown in the back yard flower beds and frozen whole a couple of summers ago.

 Soon the meat reached the doneness stage to Mother’s liking. The potatoes, along with frozen carrots slices, were added to the browned beef stew meat. I sliced the thawed tomato into appropriate pieces for the soup. Mother added some tomato juice and did a taste test for a final adjustment of seasonings. Finally, I sprinkled the small, green cylinders of chives on the top and slowly stirred the tantalizingly fragrant soup.

I snapped this photo just before incorporating the
chives into the soup.

After those natural flavors blended, the steaming bowls of homemade soup provided a satisfying lunch.

I mused about foods from the genus Allium mentioned in the Bible. Chives did not make the list, but its cousins - leeks, onions, and garlic, were enumerated among the craved foods of the Israelites led by Moses from slavery. When they wearied of the manna sent daily by God from heaven, these pungent vegetables cropped up in their tirade of complaining found in Numbers 11:5.

Some Jewish historical data indicated the Israelites may have endured from 90-120 years when “…the Egyptians made slaves of them and put brutal taskmasters over them to wear them down under heavy burdens…” recorded in Exodus 1:11. God heard their “groaning” and responded to their cries to Him by calling Moses to lead them from the enslavement of Egypt.

Yet after being delivered from an Egyptian regime that subjected them to slavery and infanticide of their precious babies, the Israelites complained about the manna from heaven. Asaph wrote of the heavenly food or “angels’ food” as he characterized it in Psalm 78:23-25, but this daily provision was disdained by most of those freed by the divine power of the Almighty God.

Like the freed Israeli slaves, we fail to acknowledge the goodness of God in our lives, even though as believers, we know He sent Jesus to redeem or buy us back from our sin. We become part of His family upon receiving this precious gift of eternal life from Him.

With that joy of freedom from sin, its guilt, and shackles, it is hard to understand how we could crave some of those old sinful habits. Paul makes plain in Colossians that the believers should no longer practice the sins of their past. The fifth verse from chapter 3 states explicitly, "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immortality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." 

Other less conspicuous sins hamper growth such as ungodly thinking, worrying, an inwardly critical spirit, failing to pray about all decisions or outright complaining. Reverting to these “invisible” sins mirrors the ungrateful Israelites craving the pungent veggies. 

David gave us in Psalm 119:11 and Psalm 34:1 the double-dose remedy to fight slipping back into old habits that derail our walk with the Lord. If we keep His Word in our hearts and minds and praise to Him on our lips, there will be no desire for the sins of our old life.

Your Word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. 

Nine Decades Plus Seven Years

Bernyce Smith Gates, my mother, is  97  years old today, October 17. I am reprising an earlier blog post with an updated ending.

Bernyce Smith Gates in 2021

Mother as a teen

1^st Decade 1924-1933 The first time I remember meeting Travis Myers, he related this account to me. Travis, who was about five years older than Bernyce Smith Gates, my mother, said when he was around 12 years old, he accidentally knocked her down on the way home from Belford School. He told me that as he towered over her, my mother, a spunky, small , seven-year-old, “got him told” about how he should have been paying attention to what he was doing and then would not have run over a little kid. Mother vaguely remembers this happening.

2^nd Decade 1933-1943 Mother graduated at the top of her class in eighth grade in 1939 from Belford Grade School and had the highest grade average as a senior at Burbank High School in 1943. 

3^rd Decade 1944-1953 Mother worked in a temporary capacity at the First National Bank in Burbank, Oklahoma. She was filling in for the bank president’s wife while she went to be with their daughter who was having a baby. Shortly after that, Mother was offered a permanent position at the bank, but instead chose to marry Edmund Gates, Jr. on March 4, 1948.

The First National Bank building in Burbank, Oklahoma. At the time of this  photograph, the building was a residence.

The First National Bank building in Burbank, Oklahoma. At the time of this 
photograph, the building was a residence.

4^th Decade 1954-1963 Mother gave birth to both my sister, Angie and me and became the epitome of a fulltime, dedicated wife and mother. The myriad of Mother’s tasks ranged from designing and sewing a winter queen costume when Angie sang the lead role in a school Christmas program, encouraging daily piano practice to daily preparing (always before the sun came up which didn’t jive with her personal sleep pattern) a lunch for my father to take on the job with him. She insured he always had a hot dish, as well as chilled fruit or ice cream, and something to satisfy his sweet tooth in his lunch box. Mother’s average day began around 5 a.m. and ended well after midnight.

Angie during her final fitting models the
Winter Queen costume created by Mother .
 This was for the Christmas program
at the Ralston Elementary School.

5^th Decade 1964-1973 My sister’s “family” booklet that she compiled in second grade began the section about her mother with this sentence, “My mother works.” Mother never worked a day outside the home during our upbringing. However, she canned 52 quarts of green beans yearly, preserved all other vegetables my grandparents and my dad raised in the garden. She made butter from the milk given by the family milk cow. It was the task of Angie and me to turn the handle of the Daisy churn until the butter “came.” She prepared three balanced meals each day for my grandparents, my father, my sister, and me.

6^th Decade 1974-1983 For several years, Mother lovingly cared for both her parents until her father’s death in October, 1982, and the death of her mother in May of 1983.

7^th Decade 1984-1993 When my grandparents died, Mother decided this was a time in her life to do what she most wanted to do so she embarked on intensive Bible study to prepare each week for teaching the adult women’s class at Ralston Baptist Church.

8^th Decade 1994 – 2003 One of Mother’s great accomplishments was losing a total of 80 pounds over several years. She has retained a healthy weight up to the present.

9^th Decade 2004 – 2013 In August of 2011, Mother recovered from gall bladder surgery in a remarkably, short time. She experienced a blockage requiring an ultrasound that detected an unrelated mass in December of 2011. A malignancy was discovered in January of 2012. In February of 2012, her oncologist reassured our family that surgery would be the answer for the tumor because it was identified so early. The successful surgery was on March 20, 2012, and yet miraculously, she was ready for Dad to come home from rehabilitation a week later. We still give thanks for that painful blockage.

Mother  in her early
 9th decade

On March 4, 2012, Mother and Dad shared their 64^th anniversary dinner in his hospital room. One of his nurses, in her 20s, commented about what the secret was to the longevity of their marriage. Mother responded, “Well we are both Christians and have tried to put the Lord first in our relationship and Edmund has been easy to get along with.” Most of those who know her agree she is quite a remarkable woman herself.

10^th Decade 2014-2021 With Dad’s second stroke, Mother learned dietician skills as she calculated the number of grams of protein in the protein-rich prepared meals. For about 19 months, she continued faithfully fixing nutritious meals until his death. For the last six years, she has retained her cattle herd, made efforts to do upgrades on the farm, voraciously studied God’s word, and prayed for scores of people often in the wee hours of the morning. What a good example for those who love her!

Happy 97^th Birthday, Mother!

I've Been Right There

                October 3rd marked six years since Dad's death. He relished life and enjoyed finding a bond with those he met. This blog posting advocates we try to establish common ground with those we meet - much like Dad did.

           79 years ago in October, Dad departed from the east coast of our country to traverse the Atlantic Ocean in a B-17F Flying Fortress or a bucket of bolts as an unnamed family member characterized the combat aircraft. All his combat missions manning the upper turret were flown from England, the final destination of their transatlantic flight.

Recently, I glimpsed a Broadway musical promoted here in our state. The show, Far and Away, was set in September 2001 when all incoming planes were denied entrance into the United States following the attack of 9/11 and were diverted to Gander, Newfoundland, Canada. The show script dealt with the hospitality shown toward the stranded passengers by the residents of the small Canadian town. (Disclaimer: I am not promoting or recommending the musical since I have not seen it.)

As I viewed the television commercial for the musical, I could hear Dad saying, “I’ve been right there.” It seemed appropriate to share his experience at Gander almost eight decades ago. Dad’s recollection appeared in his military memoirs, Okie Over Europe.

Early in the morning Fred Rabo taxied Target for Tonight off the runway at the airbase in Syracuse.  Edmund’s crew was bound for Presque Isle, Maine, with a stop for refueling at Bangor, Maine.  The frigid cold of mid-October in Maine had an adverse effect on the bombers the one night they stayed there.  The ice that accumulated on the bombers made engine ignition difficult the next morning.  The fumes of the gasoline from unsuccessful start-ups of the bombers frequently exploded in the engines momentarily igniting fires.  The propellers usually quickly extinguished these negligible flames. 

The nose of Target for Tonight with three ground crew members posing.

Once they successfully revved up the bombers, the 305^th Bomb Group departed from the shores of the United States bound for Gander Lake, Newfoundland.  Edmund’s squadron was still the 422^nd squadron. Other squadrons on this journey to Europe were the 364^th, 365^th, and 366^th.  Inclement weather required them to spend three days at Gander Lake awaiting appropriate weather for traversing the Atlantic in the B-17F bombers. 

The airmen referred to the locals at Gander Lake as “fish heads” due to fishing being the primary source of their livelihood in that region.   Edmund and Tom Kon were selected to guard the plane because of their higher rank.  They were staff sergeants, and the other noncommissioned crewmen were only buck sergeants.  The two settled in the plane each evening to protect it from sabotage so had little opportunity to socialize with the Newfoundlanders.  What a disappointment to Edmund who loved to meet and visit with people in whatever new locale he found himself!

                A loaf of bread and a four-pound can of Spam were brought to the two men.  As the food was delivered to them, the statement was made, “Eat what you want and throw the rest to the fish!”  They were both issued air mattresses for resting in the plane during their night watches. 

The lonely lapping of the water on the rough Canadian coast was amplified in Edmund’s ears by the Flying Fortress’s close proximity to those endless waves.  This incessant pulsation prompted Edmund to remark to Tom, “The sound of that water makes me lonesome for the U.S.A., and we really haven’t even left yet.”

                Even though they did not voice their concerns, there was a slight worry about the imminent crossing of the Atlantic Ocean in this war-readied plane.  Neither could they dismiss from their thoughts the recent briefings they had attended relating to the combat missions that awaited them.  

Beginning at 11 p.m., seventeen airplanes took off from Gander Lake at five-minute intervals.  Target for Tonight had ten crewmen and one dog.  Salvo, the red cocker spaniel belonging to Mike Berkewitz, was probably the most excited passenger on the flight.  The little cocker always enjoyed flying… After eleven hours and thirty minutes of flying, Target for Tonight approached Prestwick, Scotland, to land and refuel before proceeding to their final destination. 

Mike Berkewitz and Salvo, the
little  red cocker spaniel

 Dad had a knack for connecting with new people he met. He often turned to Mother upon meeting someone and said, “It’s a small world!” Just as he would have remarked about a connection with the setting for the musical, he found a commonality with most people or even things that crossed his path.

Paul told the church at Philippi in his prison letter to them, in chapter 2, verse 4, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. We listen and seek to find a point of agreement.

 Jesus did this with a teacher of the law in Mark 12:28-35. After their discussion, Jesus responded to the Jewish teacher with these words, You are not far from the kingdom. Even though most of the teachers of the law looked for every opportunity to trap Jesus, He listened to the words that revealed the heart of this man. Interacting with others objectively prepares the soil of their hearts for when we share who Jesus is and what He desires to do in their lives. 

Counter to my personality, I often interact with someone with no apparent similarities to me. Paul's words in I Corinthians 9:22 from The Living Bible propel me to seek to work with the Holy Spirit's work in people's hearts. May others find guidance from this verse, too.

... Whatever a person is like, I try to find common ground with him so that he will let me tell him about Christ and let Christ save him.

A link Concerning Dad's Desire for Connections:https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2017/09/my-dads-connection-with-hurricane-irma.html

Mother Remembers a Friend From Burbank High School

              This week Mother learned of the brief illness and subsequent death of a dear friend from her high school graduating class at Burbank High School.  June Moore Loyd, passed away at age 95, less than a month away from her 96^th birthday.

                As we have reminisced about her memories of June, Mother shared that she first saw June at the Burbank Baptist Church where Mother was visiting. June’s family had just moved to Burbank. Mother exclaimed, “June wore a beautiful dress with a pinafore. It was yellow with large pockets trimmed with dark yarn stitching.” Upon seeing June’s dress, Mother persuaded her mother to create one in the same style for her.

                June’s family attended faithfully the Baptist church in Burbank. Even though Mother had not publicly professed her faith in Jesus, she knew Christian friends helped her follow the godly standards her parents had for her.

When she arrived at school, she made friends with June, who was already a believer in Jesus. That one year, their senior one, cemented their friendship. Somehow, they forged a friendship during the school term that stayed true, loving, and vibrant almost 80 years.

                June and my mother loved music, were accomplished pianists, and enjoyed singing. A few days ago, Mother said, “I think June and I sang a duet.”

                Her statement sparked a memory from many decades ago, when she sang and taught me a fun song. Surely, the fashion of the late ‘60s – early ‘70s caused her to belt out “Bell Bottom Trousers.” Secretly, I thought she loved to burst into the song because Angie and I thought the flared-leg jeans of our era were so “cool.” Telling us she and June sang it during their senior year in 1942-1943, was Mother’s way of letting us know “everything old is new again.” (Click on the link to see a performance of "Bell Bottom Trousers" - U.S. Navy Band - "Bell Bottom Trousers" August 3, 2021 - YouTube )

                As she recalled the singing of the duet with June, Mother remembered it was for a banquet in the home economics building on the Burbank High School campus. June sang soprano, the lead, with Mother providing the harmony. I only learned this week that the love of June’s life, R. J. “Jack” Loyd, was a sailor in World War II. June's obituary stated he fought "in some of the heaviest battles of the Pacific as a Seaman and Fire Control Director on the S.S. Pittsburgh.

Photo of Home Economics Building on left and the Burbank High 
School - taken in the summer of 1998.

                Reminiscing often helps us deal with grief as memories warm our souls. This has been true for us, especially for Mother, this week. Our memories can reveal life-altering impacts. Two influences echo down the three-quarters of a century.

                My grandparents set principles for living for their only daughter, my mother. After their salvation, when Mother was around 7 years old, they took her faithfully to church at least twice a week. She kept the vintage Bible story book from which Grandma taught her the accounts of God’s work in the lives of people. Even though Mother was not a Christian in high school, she agreed with the standards by which she had been raised.

                Mother’s closest friends, Lela Leiber Stewart and June Moore Loyd, were both Christians who lived out their faith. Mother was drawn to friends that pointed her to the Lord. My grandparents prayed for Angie and me innumerable times, so I know my grandparents prayed for Mother during her formative years to come into a relationship with Jesus.

                Mother explained when she was around fourteen years of age, she wanted to be saved with all her heart. But she didn’t want to be a hypocrite. On an evening in May of 1943, she made a public confession of her faith in Jesus. She and June had been very close friends during their senior year, the only year June attended Burbank High School.

                Any parent or grandparent can take heart that diligent, purposeful training coupled with consistent living day-after-day before children and grandchildren will impact them. Proverbs 22:6 states succinctly, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

                As believers, may we realize that God brings people into our lives for a purpose. Peter wrote under the inspiration of God about our part in His plan for sharing the Gospel of Jesus. I Peter 2:12 commands, Live decent lives among unbelievers. Then, although they ridicule you as if you were doing wrong while they are watching you do good things, they will praise God on the day He comes to help you.

Mother and June celebrating Mother and Dad's 
50th Wedding Anniversary in March of 1998.

                Even though Mother mourns June’s death, she knows someday they will be reunited because they had responded by faith in Jesus to forgive their sins and committed their lives to be used by Him. Mother still wants her life to draw others to Jesus. 

                 What if June had been a "hypocrite" like Mother detested - going to church on Sunday and talking and living in an ungodly way during their weekdays in school? Would Mother have still confessed her faith in Jesus that May of her senior year? May these sobering questions spur those of us who profess to be followers of Jesus to live every day to honor Him as we pray our lives lead others to saving faith in Him.

My family honors June Moore Loyd in her death because of the life of faith she lived.

For two other blog postings with photos of June and more about their friendship, go to:

https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/04/oh-no-he-has-corsage.html

https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2020/10/friendship-at-age-96.html