Sunday, December 25, 2016

A Collage of Christmas Memories

1924
     Ninety-two years ago, my mother, Bernyce Gates, starred in the role of the Baby Jesus at the Belford School Christmas program when she was barely three months old. She and her parents lived in the home where she was born about one mile west of where she resides now. The Farrell Morris family lived in the same house during the 1950s – 1970s. I attended Vacation Bible School with Marcy, Jean, Gayle, Wayne, and Kathy Morris at the Big Bend Baptist Church situated on the hill just west of their house in the valley. Even though the house is no longer there, the place is located north across Big Bend Road from Chuck and Lisa Crabtree’s farm.
     At that time, the Big Bend community boasted two grade schools. The smaller of the two was the Belford School, located on the east side of the "peninsula" - the term some atlases use to describe what is know as "the Big Bend." Woodland, the larger school, located on the west side of the Big Bend provided education for my father, Edmund Gates, Jr., and his siblings as well as my maternal grandmother, Gladys Rainey Smith and her younger siblings. In contrast, my mother and paternal grandmother, Mamie Tripp Gates, graduated from eighth grade from Belford.

1930s
     In the 1930s and 1940s, social events called box suppers ranked as the primary fund raiser for small communities. Usually first, the children in the school presented a program. Contests followed the children's presentation. These contests allowed people to vote with their cash on various titles, such as prettiest girl and most popular girl. 
     For days in advance, each young woman in the community planned a special box with delectable treats, such as sandwiches made with "store-bought bread and lunch meat" and fruit like bananas, oranges, and apples. A large candy bar usually was a necessity, too. The young men brought their money and usually had their eye on a specific girl and her box. Each specially-decorated box was auctioned off, hoping to raise as much money as possible. Getting to share the purchased box with the girl who prepared it provided added incentive for the boys of the community to bid up the box of that certain girl. Gladys Rainey Smith, my grandma, noted that the box supper held on December 3, 1937, brought in $103.54, that included donations given, too.
     It is almost inconceivable that people during the Great Depression would contribute an amount equivalent to $1,749.27 in 2016, based on calculations according to dollartimes.com. It especially astounds me since Dad had a couple of quotes to describe the economy during the 1930s. He would say,  "A man would work for a dollar a day. That was when a dollar was a dollar, but nobody had one."
    Mrs. Mary Clark, Mrs. Ada Forrest, and my grandma took the $103.54 to Fairfax and bought Christmas treats for the Belford Community. The women purchased 160 pounds of nuts, 670 pounds of candy, 640 oranges, and 320 apples. Grandma’s records indicate they made 320 sacks to be given out the night of the Christmas Tree or the school Christmas program. Just imagine – 320 people in attendance, this included parents, their children, the couple who taught at Belford, and the neighbors.
     21st century readers must remember that fruit, candy, and nut meats were seldom enjoyed by most Big Bend residents. These were truly treats for the people of that era. Interestingly, I recall my grandfather, Calvin Callcayah Smith, telling of a man with several children, being so ladened down with a huge pack holding the treat bags for his wife and their children that he could barely lug it out of the school house. Grandpa jokingly said of the man with the load of treats slung over his back, “He looked like Santy Claus!”. For us today, with such abundance, the delight over candy sacks is hard to envision. It was such a different day and time. What a sense of gratitude and appreciation the children in the Bend during the Great Depression had for the smallest things!
This is a sack that was given out the
morning of the Ralston Baptist
Church program this year. The treat
 bags were generously donated so the
 tradition of treats,as my father
referred to them, was carried on. Dad
thought treats were essential to
celebrating Christmas. The 21st
centruy bag included an apple, an
orange, and wrapped candy, instead
of the loose ribbon candy of years
gone by, which was in no way germfree!

Late 1940s – Early 1960s
     We always lived less than four miles from my paternal grandparents, Edmund, Sr. and Mamie Tripp Gates, so I never stayed all night with them. However, most of my other cousins spent nights on the Gates farm. Until Grandpa had a stroke, my grandparents resided in a two-room house. All Christmases prior to the mid-sixties found many aunts, uncles, and cousins squeezed into the two-room house and bunk house.
     A brief explanation of the bunk house is required. It was located just a few steps to the west of the tiny Gates home. The bunk house had no heat so it was not suitable accommodations for the faint of heart. My father, Edmund Gates, Jr., claimed his younger brothers put the lantern under the covers for warmth. Uncle Jim Gates said Grandma, Mamie Tripp Gates, was a worrier. It sounded like she had something to worry about!
     I told Dad his prospective brothers-in-law must have truly loved his sisters. Their accommodations when first meeting the family of the five Gates girls was the bunk house. Talk about an icy reception into the Gates family!
     My oldest male cousin, Ron Bledsoe, is the son of my father’s oldest sister, Ella. Ron recalled when the number of cousins spending Christmas peaked that the boy cousins slept in the granary. In a recent email, Ron reminisced about Steve Gates’ description of winter nights in the granary. As I read Ron’s remembrance, I could hear Steve’s animated voice and face as he talked about days gone by on the Gates farm on the Arkansas River.
Ronnie Bledsoe with the granary
in the background. Obviously,
this was not taken at Christmas.

When beds got scarce, some of us had to sleep in the granary. Talk about cold. Steve used to laugh about that and say we were piled in there like a bunch of skunks! He was so much like Herb when it came to telling stories.
Steve Gates on the Gates
farm with the bunk
house in the background.
     How precious the recollections of those Christmases past are! We are blessed when we recall the humorous, downright funny, or even poignant, emotional moments in previous yuletide days. What thanks we can give for the enrichment poured into our lives by those family members who have passed on!
     Cousin Ron shared in another email about those December days when Grandpa and Grandma hosted their children and grandchildren.

My thoughts drifted back to Christmas on the farm with my grandparents and our extended family. It was always so exciting to me because everyone was excited about being together. There were a few small gifts for the grandparents, but not the extravagant and soon forgotten gift swapping of today. I remember sleeping in the bunkhouse under quilts and how it was so cold at first, but as the bed warmed up it felt so good. Of course, you dreaded the next morning when you had to put on cold clothes, but the smell of the wood fire and breakfast cooking spurred you on. I know those times are long gone, but as you get older those great memories become a cherished possession.
     Seldom do we recognize the treasure surrounding us. How often, when we can no longer recreate them, do we miss the quiet moments with family – just being together. Let’s not exchange the family times that seem mundane and uneventful for the glitzy and trendy. If we fall victim to this, someday regrets will creep into our hearts.
     The inability to treasure the important causes me to wonder if anyone in Bethlehem, other than the shepherds, realized in the smelly stable lay Emmanuel  - meaning God with us. Did anyone take time to listen to the shepherds’ report of the angels in the field and the night sky illuminated with brilliant light or were they too busy with the day-to-day activities? After all, with the town inundated with out-of-towners for the taxation, business must have been booming. The demand for goods and services for the influx of outsiders provided a boon to the “bottom-line” of any industrious entrepreneur in Bethlehem. The exchange for temporal business success in the little Judean town caused most to miss one of most extraordinary happenings to occur on earth.
     May we share the joy in the shepherds’ excitement and glorify and praise God for the Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Only through Him, the Prince of Peace, can we truly experience peace on earth, peace in our families, and peace deep within our own hearts.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

How a 1948 Ford Pickup Began a 65-Year-Old Love Story

The New 1948 Ford Pickup and A Long-Lasting Marriage
                James Franklin Gates moved into the role of the family’s driver when Herb, his brother, enlisted in the navy. With a hint of nervousness, but without a license, he drove the 1937 used green International pickup, the first vehicle owned by his father. Jim successfully drove his father into town. Upon returning to the farm, they pulled into the driveway at the farm and picked up the mail. Uncle Jim recalled three letters, “pkg” scrawled at the top of the daily newspaper in the mailman’s handwriting. All the family knew that those three letters indicated there was a package for the family at the train depot in Ralston. Jim and his father were soon back on the road to Ralston. Jim was quite certain that his second driving trip was to chauffeur new baby chicks home to the farm. In those days, farmers ordered their chicks in the spring. The company shipped the fluffy babies on the rail.
                My grandma, Mamie Tripp Gates, had ordered 100 chicks. She preferred Rhode Island Reds. The nondescript scribbled letters informed the Gates family that the cute, fuzzy, little fowls had arrived at the depot in Ralston. They needed to pick up the tiny, cheeping, future egg factories.
                Grandpa never learned to drive a motor vehicle since the new-fangled automobile wouldn’t obey the same commands he used to drive a team of horses, but in no way, did this prevent him from “keeping up with the times.” In previous blog postings, I have indicated that whichever child held the revered spot of the oldest at home earned the nerve-racking job of driving the family pickup for Grandpa. Even though he didn’t drive, he had many words of advice for whomever was behind the wheel.
                With fear and trepidation, Jim climbed behind the wheel and bumped their way over the “all-weather” or dirt road as they headed to Ralston. Within the hour, they had secured the precious cargo for Grandma and were jostling back to the Bend with the warm, but noisy little rust-colored chicks.
                Grandpa Gates never thought a driver’s license for young Jim was necessary until the day they were hauling lumber from the sawmill near Pawnee, Oklahoma. A highway patrolman stopped them after glimpsing the long pieces of board extending from the bed of the old 1937 International. Whenever the need for a license was mentioned, Grandpa’s thought relating to Jim driving was: We’re not doing anything wrong. Jim’s a good driver. After that encounter with the patrolman, Grandpa decided Jim needed to take his driving test and get “legal.”
                Later, Grandpa bought a new 1948 pickup.  Jim and Ralph Dooley headed to Fairfax on Saturday night on the 1948 pickup’s inaugural trip. They ended up at Jump’s. Louella Dixon, age 15, had come with her brother, George, age 17. George was more than happy to consent for Jim to take home his kid sister.
It had rained. Lou did not want any trouble when he dropped her off at their home north of Burbank. She insisted Jim let her out before he tried to cross the creek up to their house. Getting a pickup stuck after dark in the muddy creek would not have made a good first impression. She did not want to risk having to wake up her dad and make him get out of bed to pull the 1948 pickup out of the muddy creek. Instead, Lou hopped out of the new black pickup and easily found the stones so she could successfully cross the creek on foot.
Jim and Lou spent many fun nights at Jump’s Roller Inn. Lou loved to skate on Wednesday nights. Then they danced on Saturday nights. Lou described them as “fun dance parties.”
Verna Lou and Vera Lee Christy had taught Jim to dance at the house dances in the Big Bend. Vera Lee would later marry Jim’s friend, Ralph Dooley. Lou recalled Jim teaching her to square dance. Lou taught her brother, George, the two-step. George was so much taller than Lou that she had to adjust her instruction to compensate for the height difference!
Jim and Lou remembered Brice and Ralph Dooley serving as the main callers at Jump’s during the square dancing.  How frequently they heard, “Bird Hopped In, Crow Hopped Out!” They socialized with Ann Christensen, Lou’s best friend, who dated Forrest “Frosty” Goad, one of Jim’s dear friends from the Big Bend. They got acquainted with Eva Mae Garner and her date, Bunk Pease. Of course, Jim’s older brother, Herb, and his girlfriend, Billie Dooley, “ran” with them, too.
By December of 1951, Jim had joined the air force and was stationed at Sheppard Field in Wichita Falls, Texas. Lou’s family had moved to Ponca City so she graduated from Ponca City High School and began working at Continental as a key punch. They decided to get married that December. They didn’t have a car, but Jim had friends.
Alph Dooley drove Jim to Ponca City to get a blood test. They arrived at the Kay County Courthouse in Newkirk, Oklahoma. The county clerk’s office was closed since it was Saturday. Thankfully, Jim had chosen to wear his uniform for his wedding day. The court clerk happened to be there and glimpsed the profile of Jim’s military hat outside the door window. She told him she wouldn’t have opened the door and issued a marriage license except for the patriotic chord that his hat struck in her heart. The court clerk indicated he needed to be 21 years old to get married. She asked, “Are you 21?” He replied in the affirmative. After all, he would be 21 in January. 
They were then married by the justice of the peace in Newkirk, on December 22, 1951. Of course, they needed two witnesses. Alph was one. The justice of the peace stepped out the door and pulled a man from the street!
Lou wore a blue dress with navy shoes. Jim, of course, chose to get married in his air force uniform. They had no flowers. Not even one photograph memorialized the day. As with many weddings in the mid-20th century, the wedding itself was a “low-budget” affair.
They did have wedding rings. Earlier in the year, Jim had been gambling. He won enough to buy a wedding ring set for Lou from Drake’s in Ponca City. He gave Herb, his brother, a sizable amount to buy his new wife, Billie, a set of wedding rings, too.  Lou bought a wedding band for $19.95 for Jim – paying for it by making payments from her pay check that she earned at Continental.
Following the wedding, Jim and Lou spent the rest of the weekend in the Bend with Jim’s brother and his wife, Herb and Billie Dooley Gates. Then Jim returned to Sheppard Field. Lou remained at her job at Continental and lived with her parents.
By April of 1952, they decided they wanted to be together – no matter how challenging it might be. With a suitcase of towels and their clothes, they began.
Jim was stationed at Rapid City, South Dakota. The base was located 12 miles outside of Rapid City. But alas, there was no base housing.
The two newlyweds secured a room to rent from a sweet couple, Bill and Evelyn. Their home was situated about six blocks from downtown. Lou and Jim rented the room for $35 per month. Since they had no kitchen or even a hot plate, for a while, they walked the six blocks to a restaurant downtown to eat and then the six blocks back to their room.
Soon Bill and Evelyn recognized Jim and Lou as an honest, responsible couple and gave them “kitchen privileges” for an additional $5 each month. Evelyn did their laundry and even began ironing their clothes. Soon Evelyn was preparing meals and inviting this transplanted duo to join them.  As Jim recalled, this kind couple really took Lou and him in and treated this young couple like family.
For transportation, Jim found another airman stationed at the base and rode with him, furnishing gas money. Lou was employed by Buckingham Trucking as a key punch operator (data entry). She used the Rapid City bus system to commute to work.
Jim has humorously explained their early marriage began on the learn-as-you-go plan. Lou verified that it continues that way, even after six and a half decades.
One definitive event in January of 1954 marked a turning point, impacting the rest of their lives and all of their descendants. They had moved back to the Big Bend after Jim's stint in the air force. Lou recalled living in a little house they rented from Reid Morris. Their older daughter, Claudia, was less than a year old.
Lou said that they knew people from the Big Bend Baptist Church were praying for them. The pastor, Ray T. Hart, and Jess Dittmar came to visit them. The two men took their Bibles and showed Jim and Lou the way of salvation to be assured of a place in heaven. While Bro. Hart talked with Jim, Bro. Dittmar explained to Lou that a person must believe that Jesus is God's Son and came to earth to die for her sins but rose from the dead. He turned to Romans 10:9-10 which says:
If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
That January day, both of them confessed Jesus as Lord, asking Him to forgive their sins, and committed their lives to follow Him. Through the years, Lou and Jim kept their grandchildren for the week of  Vacation Bible School so they could attend with Lou when she helped each summer.
Many of their grandchildren and great grandchildren have had their Falls Creek camp entry fees paid by Jim and Lou. Much like my grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, Lou has a book documenting the salvation of each of their descendants. Lou treasures that as much as any of the keepsakes in their home.
 Lou mused that it was no happenstance that she and Jim settled in the Big Bend, but it was part of God's plan for them to  hear the truth of God's Word. She and Jim expressed deep gratitude for the persevering prayers of the people in the Bend that brought them into a right relationship with God.
Over the last several years, Lou has provided faithful support for Jim as he has courageously battled non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  I could tell, even during one of my last visits with them, Jim’s humorous remarks or funny recollections continued to bring a smile to Lou’s face.
One of my favorite photos of Jim and Lou - taken with their great-granddaughters,
Raegan and Raychel Bennett - at the 
60th Wedding Anniversary Reception for my 
parents, Edmund and Bernyce Gates -  photograph by Catherine Marie Gates LeForce 
What a 65-year-testament to love, commitment, and downright, hard work! Relationships require sacrifice. So many times, I have observed, only commitment to the relationship provides the impetus for a couple to persist tenaciously through extremely demanding circumstances. If the man or the woman focuses on his or her own desires or wishes, one of them or both will walk away from the vows they made and the legal covenant into which the two entered.
May we use the example of Jim and Lou and other couples with marriages of longevity as a springboard to build strong relationships with all the emotional resources that lie within us. With the light and love of Jesus shining through us, because of our relationship with Him, let us strengthen those family ties with those we hold so dear.
Happy 65th Wedding Anniversary to Jim and Lou!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Some Extravagant Gifts of the 1940s - At Least According to the Great Depression Standards

My mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, continues to be my primary source for many of the blog postings. She sometimes consults a five-year diary given to her in 1936.* Thankfully, she didn’t fastidiously keep it. Instead of writing in it daily, she wrote primarily important events, spanning over 50 years. Some of the details of this week’s blog are courtesy of that old, worn five-year diary.
Christmas Courting Gifts of Love
In 1944, Christmas found my father, Edmund Gates, Jr., celebrating for the first time with his family in the Big Bend. He hadn’t been at home with his family for Christmas since 1940, before World War II changed most families in the United States.
Shortly after the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, he enlisted, requesting the air force, and was in basic training at Sheppard Field at Wichita Falls, Texas, by Christmas Day, 1941. Dad observed both Christmases of 1942 and 1943 in England while flying combat missions with the Eighth Air Force.
Words failed to express the deep-set emotion connected to that 1944 Christmas on the Gates family farm situated on the south bank of the Arkansas River on the northwest side of the river’s lower bend. He pushed to the back of his mind, that his pilot, Fred A. Rabo, was still a German prisoner of war. Living by his own philosophy, there was nothing he could do about it, so he just put one foot in front of the other, and celebrated with his family.
The Christmas season of 1945 was different. Dad reveled in celebrating his first Christmas after being discharged from the military in September. Earlier that year, Dad was visited by Alvie Wescott, the ball turret gunner on the doomed B-17 crew, piloted by Fred A. Rabo. Wescott conveyed that he, Steve Keaton, the tail gunner, Fred, and “Red” Morgan, the co-pilot, survived the explosion of the bomber that ill-fated day in March of 1944. Just prior to the war’s end, the four of them were released from the harsh treatment of the German prison camps. What good news since Dad had flown many missions with Fred, Alvie, and Steve!
This year Edmund could turn his attention to more important things like selecting a “dandy” gift for Bernyce, the pretty, but quiet girl that his own father approved of. My creative father went into Cuzalina’s Drug Store in Ponca City and picked out the navy leather train case with a mirror inside the lid. He asked C.R. Cuzalina, the owner, to fill the train case to the top with items that a 21-year-old woman would want. Mr. Cuzalina quizzed Dad about his girlfriend’s hair and eye color. Then he began selecting lipsticks, blush or rouge as it was called then, foundation, perfumes, body lotions, face creams, face powder, face soap, hair products, and anything a young woman’s fashion heart could desire. As Dad exited the store into the crisp December air, he knew he would surprise and please Bernyce with this gift. 
Cuzalina Building on Grand Avenue in Ponca City from:
 http://www.poncacity.com/history/additional/downtown/buildings.html
            Mother could hardly believe her eyes when she opened the gift. Edmund had filled that elegant train case with items she had dreamed of having, but she could have never afforded to buy. How many hours of fun she had experimenting with the myriad of makeup choices!
Although the contents of the navy train case have long been used, Mother retained the case itself. She began storing her vintage photographs in the gifted case. Each time it is opened to view her older pictures, the memory of the thoughtful and exciting Christmas gift of 1945, and the joy it brought revives cherished remembrances of a Christmas past. 
             Dad seemed frugal, never stingy, but definitely conservative in his spending. Mother estimated that he spent at least $50 that Christmas of 1945. According to www.dollartimes.com, $50 spent in 1945 would be equivalent or have the same buying power as $664.50 in 2016! I think both my paternal and maternal grandparents thought he was extravagant, but what could they say? Edmund was 26 years old, a decorated World War II veteran, and making his own way. 
On December 24, 1946, Mother wrote in her little, black diary that my father gave her a rose gold watch crafted by Winton. Evidently, they were comfortable enough with each other for her to know that he purchased the watch at Drake’s Jewelry in Ponca City, Oklahoma. She noted in the diary entry that he paid $75.00. Based on the calculation provided by www.dollartimes.com, the watch would cost $974.69 if purchased for Christmas 2016!
These were only the beginning of many gifts, ranging from pieces of jewelry and sterling silver flatware to perfume and clothing. The thoughtfulness that he invested in selecting each gift, along with the generosity stemming from his love for Mother, warms her heart even after his death.
A couple of thoughts come to my mind as I recalled these early years in my parents’ relationship. Mother could attest that Dad didn’t not care whether she had makeup on. I have heard Dad say, when Mother’s hair was wild, right before she shampooed and set it, “Bernyce, you look beautiful!”
At the time, I thought it was a sarcastic put-down for how atrocious her hair looked. Yet now that I have gained some perspective in life, he really thought she looked fine. Plus, he liked to get a rise out of her when she replied, “Edmund, I can’t go by what you say!”
He chose that navy train case full of stuff that a twenty-something young woman would want. He was thinking of her. If he had been thinking of himself, he might have given her a rifle so she could hunt with him, but he had gotten to know her well enough to know what she would be thrilled with at Christmas. After all, Christmas is about giving.
            God gave His Son who chose to relegate Himself to the confines of a human body. Jesus lived a life of compassion, healing, and teaching to exemplify the love of God as no other revelation could. As rebellious humans, we did not realize what we desired most was the spirit of our Creator to forgive us and indwell us. Through His death on the cross, He would provide the perfect method to redeem us from our sin. Only “God Himself” could fill the “infinite abyss” within each of us, as Blaise Pascal so eloquently stated in his quote. (Pensees by Pascal. New York; Penguin Books, 1966. This quote in its entirety appeared in this blog post at: https://itsjustme.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/the-correct-quote-of-blaise-pascal/)
 I examined the beautiful rose gold watch and recalled a frequently-repeated quote from Dad: Time and tide wait for no man. Time wasted or abused can never be reclaimed. We have this Christmas season to worship the Savior with our commitment to obey His words as He gave them to us in the Bible. Then as an outpouring of our devotion to the Holy Child in the manger, we can extend His love to others. With hearts full of thankfulness for the gift of His Perfect One dying on the cross for our imperfections, may we offer our genuine love to those in our families, with words expressing what each one means to us and embracing them in the grace that God has graciously extended to us. This Christmas season of 2016 will never return. Let’s purposefully honor Him. Then resolve to carve out family remembrances, unique to 2016, knowing the memories created with our loved ones this season will warm future Christmases to come.

* Mother’s little black five-year diary recorded much of her early memories, as well as any memorable events over her lifetime. The diary was given by her teacher at Belford Grade School and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. W.C. Tautfest, on December 25, 1936. Mrs. Tautfest, only age 21, seemed to develop an affinity for my mother, Bernyce Smith Gates. She and Mother were both only children with no siblings. They shared a love of music, and both were pianists. Mr. and Mrs. Tautfest socialized with Mother’s parents, Calvin Callcayah and Gladys Rainey Smith. Mother even recalled, as a preteen, going with the Tautfests to visit her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kuballa in Ceres, Oklahoma.
Willard Clarence Tautfest
from my grandmother's photo album.
Mother often asks me to play a piano piece after we sing each evening. Just a couple of nights ago, I played The Bells of St. Mary's. As soon as I played the last note. She said that Mrs. Tautfest had introduced the song to her. It had only been out for nine years since it had been written in 1917. Mother sang it for a vocal solo. Later, in 1945, the song would be featured in a movie of the same title that starred Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman. Once again, the Benders were on the cutting edge!
Mildred Kuballa Tautfest from
Gladys Rainey Smith's photo
album.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

The Shocking Information from a Casual Drop-in

                I never planned to tell this story from my maternal grandmother's past even though this December 9th  marks 80 years since it happened. But a visit with my aunt, Lou Dixon Gates, seemed to demand it be retold. It has been one of the most difficult postings for me to craft.
                I periodically like to drop in and visit with my aunt and uncle, Lou and Jim Gates. Somehow Lou and I began discussing family of hers in Lamont, Oklahoma. She mentioned several surnames. Surprisingly, I heard her say the surname, “Gilbert.” I interrupted, “Gilbert?” and then I related that my grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, had a roommate at Oklahoma A and M in 1918 with the same name.
                She explained that her great grandmother’s maiden name was Gilbert. My eyes widened as I cautiously queried, “Did you say her family was from Lamont?” She affirmed this was correct.
Knowing how well Lou knew my maternal grandma, I told her that Ruth Gilbert had been one of my grandmother’s roommates. My grandmother, Gladys Rainey Smith, met Ruth, another student completing coursework prior to taking the teacher certification exam. Ruth hailed from Lamont. Whereas, Grandma and Lucy McCullough Summy arrived at Oklahoma A and M from the Ralston area. To read more about the summer of 1919 when two young women with Ralston connections were focused on teacher training, access the blog post at: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/06/summer-school-in-early-20th-century.html
Ruth Gilbert - photo from Gladys
Rainey Smith's Collection
I explained to Lou that Grandma had a photo of Ruth proudly displaying her teacher certificate given upon successfully passing the teacher test. Prospective teachers could  apply to take the required teacher exam upon completing the three-month curriculum offered in Stillwater. Then, almost in a hushed tone, I softly uttered, “But she was murdered!”
Without saying a word, Lou rose from her place on the couch, went to a cabinet, and opened a drawer. She pulled a plastic covering from the drawer. I could tell there were printed pages inside the bag.
She handed the protective bag to me and said, “This was the story of her murder. It appeared in a mystery magazine back then.”
For what seemed ten minutes, I was exclaiming, “Oh, Lou! Oh, Lou! Oh, If Grandma would have known, you two could have talked about Ruth.” Finally, I took a breath, allowing Lou the oppurtunity to tell that her paternal grandma, Mary Zone “Kittie” McCamant Dixon, and Ruth Gilbert were first cousins. To see Mrs. Dixon’s tombstone and a couple of photographs of her, go to: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=28814042#.V_hSxDB6aVY.email
 Inda Ruth Gilbert, Grandma's roommate, married Arthur Carroll Utterback also from the Lamont area in 1926. Coincidentally, he was a younger brother to Mattie Gilbert McCamant Huffman, the great grandmother of my aunt, Lou Dixon Gates. Here is a link to learn about Lou’s great grandma: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=28813978#.V_hSNcVfmOc.email
 In the 1930 Census of the United States, Ruth, at age 29, listed herself as a “census enumerator” and her husband’s occupation was accountant for an ice company. Their little boy, Hollis Gilbert, was age 3 on this document from Jackson County in Missouri. Nell, her youngest sister-in-law, was also a member of their household. She held a position as a bookkeeper and gave her age as 26.
As 1936 neared its end, Ruth and Arthur were realizing some of the dreams for which they had worked diligently and saved frugally. Arthur’s position for the United States Treasury as an examiner for the Federal Land Bank took him out of town occasionally. He and Ruth had bought a farm near Mulvane, Kansas. Their son, Hollis, age 9, and Harriet Gilbert, Ruth’s younger sister, age 11, were in school. Ruth with her musical inclination frequently traveled the twenty miles to the music conservatory in Wichita.
She and her family converted an implement storage shed on their newly acquired farm into temporary living quarters as they prepared to construct a new home. About ten days earlier, Joe Cain, a newly hired “handyman and guard,” moved into the bunkhouse on the property since Arthur had an upcoming business trip. The previous farmhouse had been moved from the property and Cain was assisting in cleaning up the debris from the existing foundation. A stock tank had also been removed, leaving a shallow pit. Broken bricks and other useless foundation remains were being used to fill the hole. Apparently, good bricks were salvaged, with the hope that the bricks could be repurposed in the new house construction. (“Fight a Stroud Parole.” The Kansas City Times. Kansas City, Missouri. Thursday, March 20, 1952. Page 30.)
On Wednesday, December 9, Cain, “acting mysterious and upset,” explained to Hollis and Harriet, upon their arrival from school, that Mrs. Utterback had traveled into Wichita with friends for a violin lesson and to withdraw money from a bank and would return by bus. He continued working at the pit and enticed the children to do the chores by paying them 15 cents. He fixed supper for them, ate with them, tucked them into their beds, and headed to the bunkhouse. Unknown to the children, Cain left in the Utterback car that night. (“Hired Man Sought in Slaying of Wife of Bank Auditor.” The Evening News. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Saturday, December 12, 1936. Page 9.)  (“Body of Murdered Woman Is Found in Kansas Farm Pit.” Miami Daily News-Record. Miami, Oklahoma. Friday, December 11, 1936. Page 1.)
The children dutifully went to school the next day, but no one was at home when the children returned from school. They noticed the car was gone. When the dark and the cold of the Kansas night fell, their empty stomachs and frightened little minds began to absorb the uncertainty of their situation. Hollis and Harriet ran to the security of the home of their nearest neighbors. Tears and fear spilled out as little Hollis sobbed, “Mommie isn’t home. We can’t find her.” Upon comforting and reassuring the children with a hot meal and soothing words, Mr. and Mrs. McBride realized all was not well. The four of them drove into the sheriff’s office in Wichita. (Quote from Hollis Utterback was taken from the unidentifiable copy of pages from a 1930s mystery magazine of an article entitled “24-Hour Start” by Charles R. Smith.)
Upon being contacted by the sheriff, Arthur Utterback reiterated adamantly that something was wrong. Even though Inda Ruth was known as a striking red-haired beauty, yet as a devoted mother, she would never leave the two children alone. After answering a few questions about Joe Cain, the near-sixty-year-old, “nice, old fellow,” her husband indicated Inda Ruth had characterized Joe Cain this way in a couple of letters mailed to him. Arthur Utterback assured the sheriff he would catch the next plane out of St. Paul, Minnesota. (Quote taken from the unidentifiable copy of pages from a 1930s mystery magazine of an article entitled “24-Hour Start” by Charles R. Smith.)
Then, almost as an afterthought, Mr. McBride suddenly recalled a scream he had heard from the direction of the Utterback property. He had passed it off as children playing, but Sheriff Boone interrupted, “School isn’t out until 4 o’clock.” (Quote taken from the unidentifiable copy of pages from a 1930s mystery magazine of an article entitled “24-Hour Start” by Charles R. Smith.)
Immediately, the sheriff, his deputies, and police officers from the Wichita Police Department, accompanied by concerned farm neighbors, began scouring the Utterback farm for clues to the disappearance of Ruth Gilbert Utterback. Sheriff Boone insisted digging be done at the pit where Joe Cain had worked past dark the night before. Beginning at midnight well into Friday morning, the men, working in shifts, excavated the bricks from the pit.
A shout by one digger alerted the others to the heart-sickening news. The cold, dead body of the gorgeous wife of Arthur Utterback had been discovered. She had received several brutal blows to her face and head. To the untrained eye, it appeared that the binder twine had been used to strangle little Hollis’s dearly-loved mother.
Joe Cain seemed to be the prime suspect in the grisly murder. A sighting of the Utterback car came in from Udall. The wrecked car was reported in Cherryvale. A rooming house in Coffeyville contacted the authorities. Then a man matching Cain’s description tried to buy hair dye in Columbus, Kansas. Yet the alleged murderer avoided being caught in each town. Officers in Neodoesha recalled a former resident, a “small time gambler and floater,” who corresponded to the description of the sought-after killer. At least four states - Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, and even Nebraska – issued statewide alerts to concerned law enforcement and alarmed citizens. (“Finding Body Starts Search For Farmhand.” The Daily Capital News. Jefferson City, Missouri. Saturday, December 12, 1936. Page 8.)
A man matching the description of Joe Cain had slept at the Wichita YMCA on Saturday, December 12. He had signed out using the name J.S. Smith the next morning. J.S. Smith had remained in Wichita, less than 20 miles from the murder scene, on Sunday night at the Salvation Army facility and brazenly signed out with the same alias – J. S. Smith.
Finally a couple of the Sedgwick deputies got a break. Their sleuthing in Fredonia, Kansas, turned up unknown facts. The hired hand of the Utterback family was not Joe Cain or J. S. Smith but Joseph S. Stroud, a man with a family supposedly quarantined with scarlet fever. He had been listed in the 1930 United States Census as age 53, with a 45-year-old wife and four children - all under the age of 8. He was not even with the family in the 1920 United States Census, but only his wife and three children were enumerated. Stroud, his wife, and a young son, a toddler, and a baby composed the family in the 1910 United States Census.
Members of the Kansas Highway Patrol and Wilson County Sheriff Will Chamberlin located Stroud in the corner of a little garage on the outskirts of Fredonia. Stroud’s confession reportedly read as follows:
 “I thought about the robbery Tuesday night. Then I thought of my own destitute family. I thought the Utterback’s had a strong box with $400 in it. (He only found $4.00 behind a clock.) There was no one home Wednesday. The two children, a boy and a girl, had gone to school. I was working in the pit. She came to show me where to put the bricks. As she was standing in the pit, I hit her with a hammer. She screamed and I hit her twice more. Then I strangled her with my hands because she wasn’t dead yet. I tied a cord around her neck to make sure.” (“Farmer Admits Killing Woman to Get Money.” The Mexia Weekly Herald. Mexia, Texas. Friday, December 18, 1936. Page 12.)
Sedgwick County Sheriff Frank Boone believed Inda Ruth Gilbert Utterback was “not entirely dead” when Stroud buried her. During his trial, Stroud was quoted as testifying “they had scared me to death.” The county attorney, Sidney L Foulston countered, “No threats were used.” (“State Wins a Point.” The Emporia Gazette. Wednesday, March 17, 1937. Page 7.)
Within days of the murder, Stroud was charged with first degree murder and bound over for trial. In January, he was ruled “sane” with the trial beginning in Wichita, Kansas, on March 15, 1937.(“Stroud is Found Sane.” The Hutchison News. Hutchison, Kansas. Tuesday, January 26, 1937. Page 1.)
The State sought the death penalty. However, the jury could not reach a unanimous decision. Witin an hour of the jury’s finding, Judge Robert L. Ne Smith sentenced Joe Stroud to life in prison. Judge Ne Smith voiced his displeasure with the jury’s conclusion, “The court is sorely disappointed in this verdict. The human mind seems unable to imagine a fit punishment for so brutal a crime.”
Little nine-year-old Hollis experienced losing his mother in his childhood not only to death but to a violent action by perpetrated by someone who fed him, tucked him in, and cruelly reminded him to anticipate the return of a mother that Stroud knew would never wrap her arms around that little boy again.
What mental and emotional trauma this young boy must have endured! Unfortunately, in those days, there was little knowledge of the shock to loved ones of a victim and the residual effects of brutality and its lasting impact on those invisible casualties. Sadly, the only records located for Hollis Gilbert Utterback were a census record in the 1940 United States Census with him as a fourteen-year-old in the Kansas Home for the Feeble Minded and a death certificate. Hollis Gilbert Utterback’s final resting place is in Mount Vernon Cemetery at Lamont. He died at age 50. (Link to his gravesite: http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=52990296  )
 With my study of grief stages and experience with how children think, Ruth’s precious son must have questioned how he could have possibly not known what this evil man had done. Surely he struggled with understanding how he could have slept while his mother’s murdered body was in the shallow pit just steps from the shed where they were living. He likely thought, Why didn’t he kill me instead of my mommie?
Grandma was shocked by the horrible news in December eighty years ago. She retained a yellowed newspaper clipping of the awful event. It told how Kansas authorities unearthed the lifeless body of her dear roommate, Ruth Gilbert Utterback.
From the clipping found
in Grandma's keepsakes.
Frequently, I have written of my grandma’s gutsy demeanor. As my dad would characterize her, she had “no quit” in her. Yet she covered every window that had no window treatments and wanted all draperies and blinds drawn when the sun went down. I recall if a knock came on the door after dark, she would get an ice pick if she had to approach the door. Even though she could shoot, I never recall her having a firearm in her hands as she answered the door. Grandma didn’t like being by herself. Somehow I think the vicious murder of her friend and roommate, Inda Ruth Gilbert Utterback, affected her profoundly.
As I have researched and written this, several thoughts have come to the forefront of my mind. Grandma and Lou could have shared so much about the tragedy in Lou’s family. What a comfort Grandma’s love for her friend, Ruth, might have brought to Lou’s Grandma Dixon if she and Grandma could have visited!
Then I wish I had known about these facts when Grandma was living. I don’t think she knew the additional evidence was available. She would just point to Ruth’s photograph in her album and tell how they attended A and M together. Grandma would say, “A hired hand killed her.”
Even as close as I was to Grandma, only during the additional research of the murder of her friend and roommate have I understood what a major life event this was for her. I wonder how many relatives, friends, or Sunday School or Bible School students realized she experienced this horrific loss in her mid-30s.
I have already related how difficult this has been for me. I prayed for insight to understand some redeeming value for revisiting this 80-year-old crime. First of all, learning more about this brutal attack on someone who Grandma called "friend"  reveals the importance of how a person's past experiences can impact her present life. For this reason, learning of a person's past and how it has formed that individual's opinions, reactions, and responses affords a glimpse into what makes that person "tick."
My heart broke for Hollis Gilbert Utterback, partly because most of the students I taught were around his age. It appears that this young boy wrestled with "post traumatic stress disorder"! Do we support effective programs that actively get help for those who have endured catastrophic experiences?
One bright moment in a dismal cesspool of research, I discovered one of the convicted murderer's sons served in England in the 8th Air Force, earned a degree from a Kansas college, taught in Kansas, both in a high school and a community college. He led a life that contributed to his family, his community, his church, and innumerable young people. Instead of replicating irresponsibility, instability, dishonesty, desertion of family, and murdering, Stroud's son changed the destructive course his father had set for the family.
How important it was to allow Stroud's son to create his own reputation! May we never pigeon-hole people into stereotypical, preconceived opinions based on relatives' behavior, where the family lives, or idle gossip that circulates about the family.
Finally, the morning after I decided my research must conclude, I awakened thinking of the Apostle Paul and his self-description of himself as a murderer of Christians. He wrote in I Timothy 1:15-16:
This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance:
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - And I am the worst of them.
But I received mercy because of this, so that in me, the worst of them,
Christ Jesus might demonstrate the utmost patience as an example
To those who would believe in Him for eternal life.
As viciously brutal as the Stroud slaying of Inda Ruth Gilbert was, according to Paul, anyone, no matter what egregious deed has been committed, can receive the mercy, grace, and forgiveness of Jesus. Those of us who have experienced the patience of God toward us, coupled with undeserved mercy and grace of which we are unworthy, can only whisper, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me."