Learn to Say "Not Good"

          Michael Ridgway came to pastor our church at Ralston in the early 2000s. Our church was one of his first pastorates. He had a heart for a rural congregation and community since he lived his adolescent years with his grandparents in a farm setting that transformed his life. Kelly, his wife, became a well-respected mathematics teacher at Woodland High School.

Kelly, Michael, Arizona, Rachel (wife of Chris), and Chris at the
120th Anniversary of Ralston Baptist Church. Joshua had up-
coming tests in his coursework in law at University of Tulsa that
kept him from being with his family that day.

            Michael and Kelly’s three children were the last pastor’s children I taught. What a treat! Chris, Joshua, and Arizona had been “schooled” in the Bible stories.

Chris, Joshua, and Arizona at
my parents' 60th wedding
anniversary in 2008.

 Arizona Ridgway, their only daughter, was around five years old when I first met her. I had been given a sturdy gift bag with popular animated heroines being illustrated in vivid colors. Its sturdiness rendered it perfect for carrying the TeamKids teaching materials. I had seen none of the animated movies but did know the original stories of each character or historical figure. As soon as incredibly smart Arizona spotted the bag at the Wednesday night TeamKids session, she pointed to each figure and said in a low, but emphatic voice, “Not good.”*
            Kelly and Michael had trained their children to discern between Biblical truth and ideologies based on false religions or any concepts with no regard for the true God. How deceptive can music, movies, social media, and other areas of influence be to children raised in a Biblically-based home unless they have been trained to recognize and refute and "destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God..." (2 Corinthians 10:5)!
            To produce an Arizona with convictions that stands in any situation, God’s Word must be taught consistently in the home with discussion of the ways to apply the principles in everyday life.
            Moses gave the nation of Israel the three main principles and “best practice” for teaching them in Deuteronomy 6:4-7:
Three Main Principles Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One.** Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.
Best Practice for Teaching Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road,*** when you lie down and when you get up.
            Asaph, the worship leader appointed by King David, wrote a psalm (song) almost 1400 years after God inspired Moses to write God’s commands in Deuteronomy. Asaph dedicated the lengthy Psalm 78 to teach the young Israelis of their Almighty God and his work in their nation. Asaph’s introductory words in verses 4-7 emphasize the necessity of teaching God’s Word:
            We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed. He established a testimony in Jacob and set up a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children so that a future generation - children yet to be born – might know. They were to rise and tell their children so that they might put their confidence in God and not forget God’s works, but keep His commands.
            The power of teaching a little one was so evident in Arizona’s life and impacted me greatly. To this day, hardly does a day pass without me saying “not good.” It may be an article Mother is reading to me or a news story we may be hearing. Occasionally, Mother asks me to repeat the account of when I first heard “not good" almost 20 years ago. We end up recalling good memories of the Ridgway family.
            No matter our age, we must be discerning in sifting the truth from error, no matter how insignificant it may seem. In Galatians 5:9 Paul warned about the harmful impact of false beliefs, “A little yeast leavens the whole lump of dough.”
            Finally, Jesus warned about the most powerful religious groups and political factions of His day and compared them to leavening. Just the ingestion of a miniscule grain of a false concept can erode a person’s godly perspective and undermine a true relationship with God in exchange for ideologies devoid of the power of God at work. Let's be like Arizona and say, "Not good."

*I retired that repurposed gift bag.

**Other translations use: the only God, the only Lord, the only true God, or God, the only One.

*** This phrase implies in the Biblical culture "relaxed walking" or "walking as a means of travel." For the 21st century, training should be done during travel.

Celebrating the Oldest Married Couple in the Bend

         75 years represents many sunsets, snows, trials, and joys. This week on February 16th, Hubert and Charlotte Hutchens marked a milestone enshrined by tradition as a diamond wedding anniversary.
        The latter part of January and into February has been fraught with illness for this couple, culminating in Hubert’s grave illness and hospitalization. Charlotte and her family were given no hope, but people began to pray, seeking for God to be glorified. In Charlotte’s words, "Our Lord answered on Wednesday evening the 7th of February when Hubert sat up as if he had a very restful sleep. He was fully awake, knowing everyone and his whereabouts."    
        When Charlotte arrived at our door with a note, as I answered the door, Mother quizzed Angie about who had rung the doorbell. When Mother heard the name “Charlotte” she insisted on seeing her even though Angie indicated Charlotte had already said she couldn’t come in. Angie sensed Mother’s intense desire to see her and helped her get her walker and navigate into the living room.
        Mother had formed a close bond with Charlotte as she and Angie cared for Grandma following her stroke and Charlotte went above and beyond her job description as their home health nurse during the last months of Grandma’s life. Even though Dad would say, “Hube and Charlotte are transplants” in the Bend, he and Mother looked upon them as dear neighbors and friends for over 40 years.
        Dad loved Hube’s stories so I have chosen an apropos one for this occasion. This retelling is from a previous Faith_Family_Farm posting.

                Hubert and Charlotte met in Hominy when she was barely 15 years old. Their dates were always chaperoned by Hube’s older brother, Lloyd.

            Hube’s military induction and a family move by Charlotte’s family interrupted the budding romance. They met up in Charlotte’s new home in the state of California. During their reunion, Charlotte recalled vividly the two of them kneeling at the altar of an empty California church. In her heart, Charlotte pinpointed that moment as the day she committed to love and live with Hubert until death parted them. They made long-range plans for their marriage to take place a few months later. But her mother couldn’t approve of her only daughter, at age 15, marrying a 20-year-old soldier.

One of my favorite early day photos of Charlotte and Hubert

            Savvy determined 15-year-old Charlotte boarded a bus heading east to Colorado right into a snowstorm. Finally, she arrived, knowing everything would be fine now that she was with her beloved soldier. As they applied for their marriage license, worldly-wise Charlotte knew that she was under the required age of 16, with no parental permission. When the clerk asked her age, Charlotte looked directly into her eyes and replied assertively “16.”

            The clerk turned to Hubert, addressing him with the same question. Hubert honestly responded, “20.” To his surprise, he was queried, “Do you have your father’s permission to marry?”

            In Colorado, at that time, a young man had to be of age 21, to marry, unless he had written parental consent. With Hubert’s brother and sister-in-law engineering a solution, they drove to the next county. First, Hubert "aged" by one year during the trip. His brother called ahead, preparing the way for Hubert and Charlotte by saying, “They can’t spend the night together unmarried.” He was told "get them to the courthouse by 5:30 p.m. and they can be married."

            Upon arriving at the destination, they obtained the marriage license but had to interrupt a poker game so the justice of the peace could perform the ceremony. "Ceremony" did not accurately describe the event. The poker-playing justice looked at Hubert asking, “Do you take her as your wife?” Immediately, he turned to Charlotte, and asked “Do you take him as your husband?” Promptly, he pronounced them married.

            Fifteen-year-old Charlotte, with a voice full of disappointment, blurted out, “What about the ring?”

            “Oh! If I knew you had a ring, I’d have made a bigger deal of it!” the justice of the peace responded, as he made tracks to get back to his poker game.

So many takeaways pop to my mind from this week’s posting. Here are a few:

• ·       Marriages are commitments made to last in the eyes of God and the man and woman. The peripheral elements of today’s wedding do NOT a marriage make - only life-altering commitments will cause it to endure, not the venue, the attire, or the unique reception theme.
• ·      True friendship stands the test of time and not just in the Bend, but anywhere people work to retain those ties.
• ·      A commitment to Jesus to trust Him and Him alone for our eternal salvation and believe He will do what His Word says drives individuals, church congregations, and communities to pray. In turn, those prayers often lead to answered prayers. It is never the ones praying, but it is the all-powerful God to whom they lift their requests. He alone is worthy of praise.

Finally, Dad liked to say when interjecting humor into a conversation, "Christians Ought to Be Happy People." Maybe you chuckled a little as you read the account of Charlotte and Hubert’s marriage. Not much of a wedding by today's standards, but the knot got tied pretty tight didn't it?

A Farm Tragedy 85 Years Ago in the Bend

         I am indebted to my grandmother, Gladys Rainey Smith, for being the family archivist. I began this account in 2015 to explain the story behind the large Chinese elm tree that stands in my mother's yard, but, because of gaps in information, abandoned it. I decided to utilize the microfilm archives of The Fairfax Chief. Sure enough, with help from Howardean Rhoads and Marcy Sterling at the Fairfax Library, I discovered a wealth of information from Grandma's column and completed it in 2016.

            As I repost this account about the fatal farm accident of 85 years ago, I wondered how many flowers or trees have been planted to commemorate a family occasion or tragedy as with Mother's Chinese elm tree. Some structures have been crafted as a tribute and a therapeutic act to move forward on the journey of grief. How important that we share the important significance of those specific memorials with our younger generation!    

        When my mother began the 8th grade at the Belford Grade School on the east side of the Big Bend community, she and her parents lived in the house on Lora Betts’ place where Mike Mitchell now lives (Lora Betts was Mike’s grandmother.). In 1938, the nation, as well as the Big Bend community, was rebounding finally from the Great Depression that had begun ten years earlier with the crash of the stock market in October of 1929. People were finding jobs. Families had more money to spend. Things were at last starting to look up.
        Neighbors were important to the Big Benders since people depended on each other for help and support. In January, as the new year of 1939 commenced, my grandparents, Calvin and Gladys Smith, with my mother, Bernyce, moved to the house on Louise Butler Jefferson’s original Osage land allotment. Mother and her parents’ new neighbors to the north was the Farnsworth family. They lived on the farm now owned by my mother.
        The Farnsworth family consisted of Mr. and Mrs. Farnsworth and their 29-year-old son, Harlow. They had lived in the Bend for about one year before that fateful day in February of 1939.

Portrait of Asher Judson Farnsworth
from findagrave.com

       

         According to the “Belford” column written by my maternal grandmother, Gladys Rainey Smith in the February 16, 1939 issue of The Fairfax Chief, near 4 p.m. on Tuesday, February 7, Asher Judson Farnsworth died as the result of being kicked by a horse. He and his son, Harlow, were training the young horse to work when it kicked him in the lower part of his chest. Harlow and his father were training the horse near their small barn that was located where the lots are now, west of Mother's house.(My mother indicated that people were still using horses for farm work in the late 1930s.)
        Mr. Farnsworth was rushed to Ralston, but Dr. H. B. Spaulding, the local physician, pronounced him dead upon arrival. News of his death reverberated throughout the shocked community because he had been among the first to donate time to help his new community and had made many friends in the Bend.
        He was 66 years old having been born on June 2, 1874, in Kansas. Mr. Farnsworth married Linnie Alice Barnum in 1909, establishing their first home in Ponca City, Oklahoma. Besides his wife and their son, Harlow, he was survived by two daughters, Roberta Hawkins and Eleanor Farnsworth.
        My grandmother wrote that a quartet from the Big Bend sang during the funeral service held in Ponca City. The quartet was composed of Mrs. Will Kelty, soprano, Mrs. Jim Clark*, alto, Perry Wood, bass, and Walter Schubert, tenor. My grandmother accompanied them on the piano.

The memorial Chinese elm tree on the left planted by Mr.
Farnsworth's family to honor him at his untimely death.

        When I was young, even before I learned about Mr. Farnsworth's tragic death, I remember Harlow and his wife returning to visit our family in the Bend. How ironic a family tragedy made a bond with neighbors even greater! Their visits were also illustrative of the strong ties of friendship that span the years in rural areas, especially in the Big Bend. 

*Mrs. Jim Clark (Mary) moved to Ralston in her later years. Mary retained her strong alto voice even into her 90s. She was the grandmother of Gilbert Morris aka Junior. Mary Clark was a great-grandmother of Patricia Morris Chaffin, and Pam Morris Felix. To see a photo of Mary, go to: https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2019/03/armed-robbery-in-big-bend.html

Throwing Off the Weight

                 On the bitterly cold days of January, I found it necessary to don heavyweight canvas bib overalls with a couple layers beneath. I pulled on the heavyweight canvas Carhartt jacket I had gifted to myself after feeding and watering cattle in February 2021. I topped all that heavy apparel with the Pendleton trapper hat given to me by my sister and brother-in-law for the most recent Christmas. I kept warm but the cumbersomeness of it all was substantial.

                Years ago Dad rejected Muck boots choosing instead a lightweight pair of rubber boots. I use multiple layers of socks in my must-have Muck boots. Dad opted for one pair of work socks. The only overalls he put on were denim bib overalls. He rejoiced when Mother introduced him to sweatpants to wear under the overalls which he said in his late 80s felt like “sheet iron.” His ability to deal with harsh cold weather, especially temperatures was honed by sleeping in the unheated bunkhouse from early elementary school age until he volunteered for the Army Air Corps.

Dad loved and used the hat from Angie and Ben for Christmas in 1997. The
 coat was just too heavy for him to work in. He politely kept it but used it only
 on extremely cold occasions -maybe when going to town. I chuckle seeing the
tag on the hat sticking straight up. He was so comfortable in his own skin that
 nothing ever embarrassed him!

                As the temperatures modulated recently, I felt such freedom in getting outside work done as the layers lessened, and I swapped the heavyweight jacket for a much lighter one. Moving much more quickly to get tasks done with less time and not nearly as clumsily found me recalling Hebrews 12:1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

                The writer of Hebrews distinguished between weight and sin. Dr. Charles Stanley defined the weight as “passions of this world weighing us down.” These weights are anything that rivals our commitment to the Lord in obediently doing His will for our lives. They may be attitudes, activities, relationships, or numerous other things. Many times these activities or relationships are not wrong or sinful but simply occupy a higher place in our lives than our relationship with Jesus. In this way, they become weights interfering with our focus on Him.

Lord, give us clarity in our spiritual vision to identify anything that weighs us down. Strengthen our resolve to remove from our lives or reorder our priorities to run exactly as you would have us to run. May we determine daily to throw off anything that hinders our wholehearted obedience to You.