9/11 - 15 Years Ago

Exactly 15 years ago today, as Americans, our lives changed, altered by events entirely out of our control, perpetrated by a commitment to unconscionable, deliberate acts birthed in hatred. The memory of that time drove me to retrieve from the storage container my journal written in that era. I lifted sections from it, exactly as I wrote them fifteen years ago.

September 11, 2001

Today began as any other day. I found myself feverishly trying to be ready to attend Dad’s 305^th Bomb Group Reunion in Tulsa this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday….However, today, at around 10:25 a.m., I was going to pick up some copies from the computer room printer when Lisa Wills and Kelley Brumley, my teaching colleagues, were discussing a catastrophe. I learned from them that the World Trade Center in New York City had been a target as well as the Pentagon. Since I was unsure how to approach the subject without inciting fear in my students, I had to plod on with my teaching. Finally, the teaching day was over, but the concepts taught and the behavior of the third graders dimmed in light of the deadly attack on the U.S. government (the Pentagon) and the U.S. economy (the World Trade Center). Those I loved seemed ever dearer to me. I felt the need to be with loved ones and Mom was delighted to invite me to their house to see the special reports of today’s devastation….As we learned more of the attacks and the sorrow and death surrounding them, I realized how fragile life and peace are. Earlier today Kelley (Brumley) and I were talking and she said, “It just shows we must be prepared to die.” I replied, “If our trust is in Jesus, we know we are ready to go.”…Ironically, as we were watching, Dad said, “September 11, 1945 was the day I arrived home from World War II for good.” (His generation had thought they had fought the war to end all wars. Yet that very morning as he watched the latest news, he witnessed the second plane fly into the World Trade Center Tower.)

The third graders that I was teaching on that ill-fated September 11, 2001.
Photograph by Blunck Studios, Inc.

September 12, 2001

Today is “the morning after” the worst attack in U.S. history. I left my radio on all night to KOSU to hear NPR reports. It was interesting because after 11 p.m., they began airing the BBC news report. (In London, the time was 5 a.m. – as Dad would say “The Limeys are six hours ahead of us.”) Nevertheless, I was ready to get up. I shut off the radio so I could read my Bible and pray. After I got around and ready, I went to Bigheart Grocery to buy The Daily Oklahoman and the Tulsa World. I also took a children’s encyclodpedia with a lovely panoramic shot showing the World Trade Center. ...I had my students write in their guided journals their feelings or facts about the suicide hijackings. Later in the day the students were able to illustrate their journal entries. Near the end of the day, I allowed those who wanted to, to read aloud their journal entries. If they wanted me to read the entry, they could put their journals on the round table. Curtis Edens and Laryn Rice did this. I tried to listen to the students and allow them to look at the newspaper. Steven Ben said his dad said there was a hero on the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania….That night was Wednesday night Bible study at the church. …The song chosen was “In Times Like These” … one godly woman mentioned that God was trying to get America to repent. I almost immediately recalled the many times as young boys, Brendon Lowe and Joshua Corley had prayed for America to turn back to God. Even though we were very small in number, it seemed good to be with our church family. Dad taught that night from Joshua 1:1-18 (We were without a pastor at the time.). I must “be strong and of a good courage.”

September 13, 2001

Today is the 2^nd day after the attack on America. About 1-2 a.m. I finally turned off NPR radio because I was falling asleep and there wasn’t a lot of news. I was packing this morning since we are leaving at 1:30 p.m. for Dad’s 305^th Bombing Group Reunion* in Tulsa. I ran by Formby’s today (I should say Bigheart Grocery) to pick up the The Daily Oklahoman and the Tulsa World. …We had Woodland Wake Up. As always we pledged Allegiance to the flags. We also sang the National Anthem and “God Bless America.” Bobby reminded the students to be grateful for each day we have because nothing is guaranteed. He had told the Red Cross we would make cards for the rescue workers in Washington, D.C. and New York City. I told my students I would be gone this afternoon and all day tomorrow….When we unloaded and checked in, we then headed down to get Dad registered. We learned neither of the fellow members of his original crew were coming. Many of the other 305^th that had planned cannot or have not arrived due to the total flight shutdown in the USA….Each night the TV is full of news reports even well after 11 p.m. The country is so shaken by the attacks. Our country never believed we would be attacked on our own soil, but we have been. It is my moment-by-moment prayer that we turn back to God and realize our need for Him on a daily basis.

Until I reread these entries, I had forgotten the uncertainty and fear that seeped into conversations with the third graders fifteen years ago. Not only did worry and concern affect the usually happy, carefree children but also their parents, grandparents, teachers, and adult neighbors. That morning did change the outlook of many Americans. The security of being in the strongest nation in history vanished. I didn’t fathom fifteen years ago, other smaller attacks on unsuspecting citizens on American soil would occur, but we all know they have.

During these following years of insecurity, apprehension, and trepidation, those bright-eyed third graders have grown into responsible adults of whom I take pride each time I hear of their accomplishments. Most importantly, I rejoice when I am told and see the thoughtful, kind, caring, and dependable young people they have matured into being. In reality, no terrorist can destroy that inner commitment to follow the values and principles taught by their families and teachers. In light of that, the chapter from the Bible that I shared with many in September of 2001, still resounds with relevancy today. It is our only strength and hope.

The Lord is my light and my salvation: Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked come against me to eat up my flesh,

My enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell.

Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear;

Though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident.

One thing I have desired of the Lord that will I seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

 To behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple…

 When You said, “Seek My face,”

My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”…

…portions from Psalm 27

*This was the last 305^th Bomb Group reunion that was close enough for Dad to try to attend. The 2001 Reunion had been bittersweet since his dear friend and pilot, Fred Rabo had died the previous year. Incidentally, Dad was the final member of the original group and lived longer than any of the other nine men.

Those Hated Thorns and Thistles

I Agree With Grandma

             As a small child, when my maternal grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, first heard the story of Adam and Eve explained by her mother, her response was, "I hate Adam." Her mother, Rosa Jarrell Rainey, promptly spanked her, appalled that her middle daughter would defame the first man created on the earth, in the very image of God. Let me go on record that I agree with my grandma to a point. I won't use the word "hate" but obviously, Adam didn't believe his willful disobedience in following Eve would lead to back-breaking work, destruction in his perfect environment, and most importantly, an inner change in the depth of his soul.

           Adam had to be one of the most miserable men that ever walked the earth. I made a similar comment to Mother after coming in from the pasture recently. I went on to explain that he experienced the earth without thistles or thorns. What a reality check he faced when he spotted the first prickly thistle in his lush, green pastures and even worse what a horror when he found the first one from his flock or herd sickened or dead from eating a noxious plant. The consequences for his choice had materialized.

           His life worsened as he realized that year after year those destructive plants returned. He was never able to eradicate them, no matter what methods he employed. For his entire life, following the soul-altering choice to disobey God's sole command to Eve and him, he fought the adverse elements in his pasture.

           Living in the Garden of Eden was literally a paradise for one who enjoyed seeing botanical wonders. What a sinking feeling he must have experienced when he encountered the first weeds amidst his lush vegetation!

On more than one occasion, I told Ron Badley, our 

botany teacher, that he prepared me superbly for 

all the life science courses I took at OSU. (He 

taught us to identify so many prairie flora. This is
 buffalo bur which became history soon after I photo-
graphed it!) I hate these signs of Adam's detrimental 

choice. I must admit that I know based on the Bible, I
 would have made the same irrevocable choice as Adam. 

          As he tended his herds and flocks, I know he had time to contemplate the decision he had made with Eve to violate God's only "do not" instruction to not eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Thousands of times, he probably recalled the days before their choice to disobey and what indescribable difficulty they ushered into their lives.

          We are akin to our first ancestors. We make choices overriding God's word, our consciences, and sometimes the warnings of those around us. Then we sorrow when forced to live with the consequences. 

         Thankfully, God's plan didn't end there. He Himself came onto our planet, subjecting Himself to a human body with all of its limitations to show us who He was. Ultimately, Jesus did for us what we could never do for ourselves. Willingly, He became sin for us that we might be made right in His eyes. Paul beautifully wrote of this unfathomable action in II Corinthians 5:21. How could we not accept the forgiveness of the God who became the sacrifice for us?

         I contemplate how Adam and Eve daily walked in the evenings with God. Their disobedience interrupted that pleasant end-to-the-day ritual. Thanks be to God who has restored to us close communication with us through His Word and prayer. May we always take advantage of His communication with us through the Bible. After all, the whole plan of God is centered on forming relationships with those humans willing to reciprocate His love. Through purposeful meditation on His word, reading and obeying His word, and encouraging worship with others who love Him, we can experience that daily walk with our Creator and Savior. What a reassuring thought that we can still have an end-to-the-day ritual as we talk through prayer with Him about our day, read from His Word of the certainty of His presence through our nighttime rest, and the promise of Him being beside us as we open our eyes to welcome the new day!

The Ford and the Flood

The monumental flooding in Louisiana prompted this memory of my grandparents in the 1920s. In no way does my humorous approach to this family story diminish the devastating losses to the affected residents of Louisiana. Instead may we be prompted to pray and give to organizations that are actively providing relief and ongoing support in this ravaged region of our nation.
The Flood and the Ford

                As with many families in the 1920s, my maternal grandparents bought a used Model T Ford for their first car. My mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, described the car as a buggy with a motor. As she told about their first vehicle, I imagined its size was similar to the buggy my paternal grandmother had used to cross the swollen creek. The efficient, small Model T had a gas engine. In contrast, the strength of Old Fancy, the reliable horse, pulled Grandma Gates to safety. To read about Old Fancy’s prowess and Grandma’s determination, access the posting at: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/07/she-wouldnt-turn-around-or-wait.html 

Henry Ford’s affordable car owned by Mother’s family featured a roof, windshield, and two doors, but no window glasses were in the doors. The wind and rain could readily come in on the driver and the passengers. Mother said my grandpa, Calvin Callcayah Smith, characterized its tires, “about like bicycle tires.” To her astonishment, she and her parents traveled innumerable miles in that car on those tiny tires! To access another posting about this same little car, see: https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/12/ralstons-tie-with-founding-of-oklahoma.html

A Ford Model T Advertisement from 1924. It was priced at $265. Their Model T
                       seemed smaller and not as flashy, according to Mother's memory. Of course,
       Grandpa bought theirs used.  Mother recalled it was sold for $7!
           From the Collections of The Henry Ford. Gift of Ford Motor Company.

Grandpa drove a team of horses pulling a buggy or a wagon until he was at least 30 years old. So driving a motorized car provided a fun adventure each time he got behind the wheel. Angie, my sister, and I recounted his driving protocol. He first donned his leather driving gloves. Then he spit on his gloved hands – maybe hearkening back to his pitching days in baseball. Finally, we were ready to take off.

Grandpa liked to drive fast. One day he picked up a man who frequently hitchhiked to Ralston. Following a ride with Grandpa driving his black Dodge pickup (a later vehicle he owned), the obviously shaken man was heard to exclaim as he escaped from Grandpa’s pickup, “That old man’ll kill you!”

As we laughed over our memories of Grandpa’s driving, I said, “Remember,  Mom, that Marilyn (the younger cousin who had lived with them for a time) would always brace herself on the dashboard and say, “Uncle Cull, I’m ready for a crash landing!” Marilyn loved the riding excursions each day to Belford Grade School. (To read more about Marilyn Rainey’s time with my grandparents, access at: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/11/when-little-brown-eyed-durgan-lived.html  )

Mother remembered one time, as a preschooler, when the Arkansas River flowed angrily out of its banks. Anyone who lived in the north central area of Oklahoma, prior to the construction of the Kaw Dam, vividly recalled those days when schools were cancelled due to flooded bus routes, endangered homes in the river bottom were evacuated, and stranded livestock demanded courageous rescues.

Mother and her parents planned a shopping trip to Fairfax by way of Ralston. They crossed the Ralston Bridge spanning the flooded Arkansas River. Of course, the river was swirling in the river bottom east of the bridge, lapping the shoulder of the dirt road. That dirt road is now Highway 18. Grandpa drove slowly as they rounded the curve and headed north to Fairfax.

The Smith family made their purchases in Fairfax, loaded them into the Model T Ford, hopped in themselves, and headed south. No one will know what possessed Grandpa to amp his speed – maybe it was the anticipation to get back to the Big Bend or perhaps it was just to get Grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, a little riled. Well, if getting a rise out of Grandma was his intent; let’s just say, according to Mother, he nailed it!

The tiny Model T driven by my fun-loving grandpa approached what is now the junction of Highway 18 and Highway 20. Grandpa had the Model T humming a little faster on their return trip. Grandma cautioned, “Slow down, Cull! We have this little girl in here.”

Grandpa chuckled and held his speed steady as he prepared to round the curve. Grandma’s anger flashed, sparks flew, and before anyone knew what had happened, Grandma grabbed the key out of the ignition and flung it into the muddy Arkansas River, churning just feet away from the vulnerable Model T! The puttering motor stalled and died.  All was quiet except the fury of the massive body of water seething with the sickening odor reeking from the murky boil. Grandpa exited the early-day car in silence and started walking toward the Ralston River Bridge, making his way into Ralston.

As my father would say about Mother in crises, “She just sits quiet.” Even though she was not school age yet, that is exactly what she did. To my amazement, Mother said my grandmother said nothing either. My grandmother who had an incredible mind may have been questioning why she jerked the key and threw it or probably Why was Cull driving like a fool?  Fear and trepidation must have permeated her thoughts as she sat that closely to the swollen river with her only little girl.

Grandpa eventually returned with a "universal" Ford key obtained from O.J. Cales' Ford Garage (Bob Hopper had a feed store there in more recent history) just north of the bridge in east Ralston, started the engine, and the three of them were on their way. At age 91, Mother still remembers seeing the key fly into the flooded river.

My mother reminded me that my grandparents were not Christians at that time. Grandma was a spitfire in terms of her temper. After accepting Jesus, she learned to rely on Him to help her control it. However, she was aware of its explosiveness and its destructive ramifications in the lives of her loved ones. Mother said the incident showed the necessity  for people to think about the consequences of their behavior before doing something rash.

My mother dearly adored her father.  He never crossed her in word or deed during any time of her life.* Yet Mother said her father should have listened to Grandma’s fear of the raging river and slowed down, showing his mindfulness of her concern.

Just as being born into the world is an instantaneous event, so is coming into God’s family through trust in Jesus. On the other hand, growing and learning is a ever-changing journey in our physical lives after our birth, so is growing in the knowledge of who Jesus is and wants to be in our spiritual lives. May our desire be to honor Him in our “thought-through” actions,  as well as our sensitivity of others. In this way, we can be assured to positively impact the lives of those around us.

*Grandma always said Grandpa never corrected Mother. Grandma said when Mother was quite small, she cried because she didn't want them to spend the night at Grandma Rainey's house. Grandpa placed her in the Model T Ford and drove around "the square" until Mother drifted off!  Then he carried her back into Grandma Rainey's home and spent the night there.