I originally wrote this blog post as a way of working through my grief for my aunt in 2017. At her funeral Pastor Gilchrist used the word "impeccable" and the phrase, "was put together" in describing Aunt Mamie. Her funeral folio had printed the scripture passage from John 14:2-6,19.Upon hearing the beautiful violin duets performed during the service by Levon and Elliott Eudaley, Mamie's beloved grandsons, I thought Nothing would have pleased her more.
October 29 will mark the 84th birthday of Mamie Marie Gates Judkins Tice. Aunt Mamie was my father’s youngest sister to whom he usually referred to as – “Mame.” Dad and Mamie retained a sweet, big-brother-little-sister relationship. Dad was 19 years old when his baby sister entered this world. Mamie was only three years old when Dad volunteered for the Army Air Corps in December of 1941.
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| Mamie, Dad, and Julia |
Mamie enjoyed a close relationship with my mother when my parents were newlyweds. In one of our last telephone conversations, Mamie told me she had kept a small keepsake box given by my parents many, many years ago. Sometimes Mother indulged Mamie, making trendy accessories of the 1950s, for her youngest sister-in-law.
Mamie’s sensitive nature caused her to sorrow deeply for her dear step-grandfather (the only grandfather she knew) when he died suddenly. Grandpa Black's kind, gentle nature had touched her young life. Mamie was only 12 years old when Robert Thomas Black passed from this life.
Mamie married Dewey Judkins, a Korean veteran and an OU fan and graduate of Oklahoma City University. She and Dewey reared their three daughters to pursue their own interests, capabilities, and professional goals.
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Dewey and Mamie at their wedding
shower. |
She realized her marriage to Uncle Dewey, an electrical engineer, afforded her a more affluent lifestyle than some of the rest of the family. Since Mamie had lovely homes, she expressed genuine concern about me dwelling in a mobile home during my teaching career. I truly appreciated her apprehension each time I sought shelter as the tornado siren blew! Thankfully, I survived my days living there.
After Uncle Dewey’s death, she married her friend and neighbor, also grieving the loss of his wife. Jack Tice brought joy and comfort into her life. She said they traveled at the same pace. Jack could fix almost anything for her.
On September 19, 2015, Mamie and Jack traveled to Olathe, Kansas, to participate in the Induction of Elizabeth Studebaker Gates into the Kansas School for the Deaf Hall of Fame. This evening proved to be a highlight that fall for Mamie, since she was the youngest granddaughter of the inductee who had been the first student of the Kansas School for the Deaf when it began in 1861. Mamie shared the milestone evening with her niece, Claudia Gates Lentz, and her great niece, Kimetha Mitchell Bennett.
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| Mamie and Jack |
Mamie and I spoke by telephone more frequently during my father’s stroke recovery and after his death. Invariably, we would discuss gardening - the reseeding of her beds in the fall, in early summer our conversation turned to vintage roses, or her vegetable endeavors. I recall her launching into such an informative explanation about numerous rose species along with specific treatments for various maladies that often strike the fragrant plants. I thought to myself, Why aren’t you taking notes on this?
Our last telephone conversation occurred prior to my late purchase of tomato plants to plant in the back flower beds. She told me emphatically her personal favorite type of tomato was the Celebrity. When I browsed the plants at Fairfax Feed Store and spotted the tag labeled Celebrity, I thought of Aunt Mamie and chose six healthy-looking Celebrity plants. Each summer, I still think of her as I purchase and plant the tomato plants she recommended
Mamie described her father, Edmund Gates, Sr., as a man of principle. Some people defined him as hard-headed. Others said, “He knows his own mind.” In the same way, Mamie knew her own mind. Much like Grandpa, she could delineate her likes and dislikes. Frequently, she had solid reasons for the opinions she held.
She was a woman of faith. She lived out her faith in morally-upstanding behavior. The last time she saw my father before his final debilitating stroke, just before she and Jack left, Dad prayed. His strong prayer provided the confidence she needed that he was content and felt comfortable even in his stroke recovery.
Mamie loved beauty. She loved beautiful music, and I often envied her since she regularly attended symphonic concerts in the Oklahoma City area. Aunt Mamie loved color. Using color masterfully, she always “was put together” impeccably in her makeup and her clothing choices. Seldom do I use absolute words, but I cannot recall one time seeing her appear disheveled or unkempt (Wow! I wish that could be said about me!).
Only in the last few years, did I realize she was a cat lover. When her daughters, Sheryl, Jill, and Lisa were young, the family usually had a poodle. I guess I deduced that she was a dog lover. Once I learned about her Himalayan feline, she and I enjoyed discussing our cats. In her compassionate manner, she commiserated with me when Bob, our orange and white Manx cat, disappeared just about six months before her own death.
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| Jill, Mamie, Lisa, and Sheryl with the family dog |
As soon as I heard of the serious accident injuring her great nephew, Justin Gates, I called Mamie as well as my other aunt in Oklahoma City. Aunt Mamie and her husband, Jack, made plans to go the hospital. Even though I told her not to feel obligated to contact me, she insisted she would. The day after as they returned from the hospital, she called to share about Justin’s condition. Mamie was a person of her word.
She loved family history. Mamie reveled in sharing the same German ancestor, Johannes Stutenbecker, with the famous car makers of the 20th century. When Johannes Stutenbecker's sons arrived in the colonies in 1737, they changed the spelling of their name to “Studebaker.” Peter, from whom we descend, and Clement, from whom the renowned wagon makers and later automobile designers came, were blade makers in Germany. Mamie knew more about this connection than anyone else in the Gates clan.
Aunt Mamie pursued membership in the Daughters of the American Revolution since we descend from a lieutenant, Jacob Snider. However, his son-in-law refused to provide fresh horses to the continental army. So Mamie’s great-great-great grandfather, Jacob Studebaker’s conscientious objection to the American Revolution dashed her hopes of entry into the DAR.
Her passing from this life, on June 4, came too soon for me. In one of our last conversations, when I lamented coming into possession of vintage family photographs with no information, Aunt Mamie assured me that she and Jack planned a trip to the Bend, and she would try to assist in identifying the photograph subjects. After her death, Jack reaffirmed their plans for a trip to southwest Osage County to “decorate” graves at Pixley, but Mamie wasn’t feeling “up to it.”
When death comes, we can reflect on “what might have been.” We can rejoice in past cherished times, but primarily, I focus on the loved one’s preparation for eternity.
The following morning after Mamie’s death, my mother, based on Mamie’s hope and trust in Jesus, said, “There’s a big Gates reunion in heaven.” We can be assured of taking part in the heavenly family gathering someday, if we have embraced the promises of Jesus from John 14 with which He assured His disciples just days before His crucifixion:
Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.
In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you.
I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you will be also. And where I go you know and the way you know.”
Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
May each of us, whether in the Gates family or not, be certain of our relationship with Jesus, trusting Him alone to forgive our sins, and living each day to invite as many as possible to enter a restorative bond of forgiveness through Jesus. Not only will each individual find a more fulfilled life here on earth in Him but will join in that heavenly reunion someday, too.
.JPG)
