Ringing in the New Year With Remembrances of Aunt Emma Rainey Buckley

Whenever I write about my grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, or any of her siblings, I recall what Velma Bowen Rainey said about them. She commented, "Grandma Rainey raised those kids on tiger's milk!"  Velma referred to characteristics such as an unchangeable determination, an indomitable spirit, an ability to succinctly convey an opinion,  and unwavering tenacity. The incredibly talented Rainey children's commitment to hard work coupled with their giftedness in many areas has enhanced and impacted our family for several generations.
Remembering Aunt Emma Rainey Buckley

The youngest daughter of Rosa Jarrell Rainey and William Marion Rainey was born on December 31, 1903 at Sacred Heart, Indian Territory. My maternal grandmother, Gladys Vivian Rainey Smith, at age three, welcomed her into the family. They named the New Year’s Eve baby Emma Maryann.  Her father selected her middle name after his own mother, Mary.

According to my grandma, Aunt Emma quickly became a favorite of her father. Grandmother related how Aunt Emma, as a sick little one, needed to take medicine. Her father, in his effort to entice Emma to take her medicine, illustrated how easy it was to swallow and ended up taking her medicine himself! That suited little Emma just fine.

As an older sister, my grandmother and AIice, another sister, thrived on teasing Aunt Emma. Aunt Emma always had many suitors. Alice and my grandmother teased her when they attended Woodland School in the Bend and Emma received a love note. The boy who didn't excel in spelling wrote a note to Emma referring to her as his “Humey” instead of "Honey." Even in her 70s, this same man enjoyed meeting her and visiting about days long gone as well as his agri-business.

Aunt Emma formed strong friendships when she stayed with the McInroy family in Fairfax to attend high school. She found employment at Big Hill Trading Company. She met and married Bill Buckley in 1929. More about their relationship can be read at the blog post link: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-theater-manager-who-married-rainey.html

The death of her beloved husband forced my great-aunt to begin carving a new path for herself. Following her recovery from an emotional collapse, she and her niece, Hazel Rice Goad Guthrie, enrolled in Hills Business College in Oklahoma City. Coincidentally, my paternal aunt, Ella Gates Bledsoe, was studying at the same time at the same college.

Upon completing her coursework, she accepted a job with the United States Government Printing Office in Washington, D.C. Her new employment adventure propelled her into an entirely new venue and atmosphere. She attended worship services at the National Cathedral. Aunt Emma, with her newfound friends, toured each historical site in their leisure time. The couple of decades in social circles in the nation’s capital afforded her opportunities to enjoy the festivities of  presidential inaugural balls.

Aunt Emma Rainey Buckley with her friend, Elsie in Washington, D.C. Every

 photograph of Aunt Emma reveals her ramrod straight posture. She retained 

her elegant posture well into  her 90s. Even as children eating at her table, her

posture alone caused my sister and me to check our posture. When we stayed

with her as children, we always had a water glass and stemware for our drink 

with our lunch and dinner meal!

Two of the more memorable experiences I recalled from her reminiscences of her years in Washington, D.C. was Marion Anderson’s historic concert on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on Easter Sunday in 1939. Anderson had been denied permission to perform in Constitution Hall. Later in her career, this contralto extraordinaire overwhelmed an audience when she participated in a benefit concert in Constitution Hall in 1943. Aunt Emma was privileged to be a part of the momentous event!  

Aunt Emma Buckley worked at what is now the United States Government Publishing Office until her retirement. She had been buying the farm on which her mother, Rosa Jarrell Rainey lived. Her mother (my great-grandmother) died in 1953, and soon Aunt Emma retired to begin farming with her brother, Eugene Robert Rainey. After his death in 1961, she lived the remainder of her life by herself on the farm.

Aunt Emma transitioned from a urban life style with a full social calendar to raising chickens, planting a garden, and canning the garden produce she harvested. Her nephew, Virgil Rice, farmed her tillable ground for her. As she aged, he checked faithfully on her daily.

Aunt Emma was generous with her time and money. She gave of herself to help her sister-in-law, Pearl Rainey, care for her older brother, Lewis, the last few months of his life. She spent many nights with her oldest sister, Daisy Rainey Rice. Calvin and Gladys Smith, my grandparents, enjoyed shopping outings with her to Ponca City on a regular basis.

My love of music prompted Aunt Emma to underwrite my first piano lessons. She always expected a mini concert from my sister, Angie, and me when she was at our house. She and my mother fostered my love of classical music.

In her later years, many times I traveled the quarter-mile to her house from my parents’ farm or stopped by after school on Friday. We discussed current affairs, family news, fashion trends, our personal Bible study, and family stories from the past. That strong relationship led me to what no one else had the courage to do. Return a photograph. Let me explain.

Bill Buckley’s World War I photograph retained a prominent place in our home all during my early days. My inquisitive nature caused me to inquire why we had his photo in our home and Aunt Emma had no pictures of him in sight at all. A brief explanation of her difficulty with his death was told to me. I knew names of men smitten with her were bantered about for many years.  An engineer who remained a bachelor until his death – I discovered that in my research! A banker, a train conductor, and a successful farmer were just a few who were quite taken with her, but with each one, she countered with a respectful, polite response that indicated no interest on her part. 

Prior to my grandma’s death, when cleaning, I proposed a novel idea – give Bill Buckley’s photo back to Aunt Emma. Initially, every family member supported me from afar in that effort to return the heretofore unwanted portrait. To everyone’s astonishment, Aunt Emma accepted and displayed prominently the photograph she rejected over sixty years earlier. Evidently, this sophisticated lady with a brilliant business mind had come to accept her dear Bill’s death and embraced their brief marriage as a relationship that could never be matched even though she lived into her 90s. Years of heartache and loss had finally been replaced with fond memories of the love they shared.

Aunt Emma with me in February of 1957. I always admired her keen
                 business savvy and understated sense of style and have tried to emulate it.