Some Weddings Aren't Perfect

February 26 will be the 105th wedding anniversary of Daisy Dean Rainey and  Ernest E. Rice. The wedding day was a bit shaky, but the marriage proved to be solid as a rock. What a model for young men and young women of today determining to enter into the covenant of marital commitment!
The Wedding Disaster

                According to the United States Census Records of 1910, my great grandparents, William Marion and Mary Rosetta Rainey were living in Konawa, Oklahoma. They had six children ranging in age from 6  to 16 years. Daisy Dean was the oldest.

                 Daisy, my grandmother’s oldest sister, often recalled, when visiting with us, the good days when growing up in Konawa. She took piano lessons while the family lived in Seminole County in the early days of Oklahoma. Aunt Daisy spoke wistfully about the enjoyment of attending high school as a teenager in 1910.

                Then her father, William Marion Rainey, became enamored with moving the family north. After seeing railroad cars loaded with corn on a trip to the areas inhabited by the Osage and Pawnee Indian Nations, Bill Rainey knew that part of the new state must be the promise land for his family.

                Rosa, his wife, interpreted the corn-ladened rail cars as a negative sign about these northern counties. She asked, “Bill, why are they shipping corn into good farming land?”

                He spouted his typical response, “Rosie, you’re a good worker but no manager.” The Rainey family had relocated to Pawnee County by 1911.

                Aunt Daisy lamented this move as long as I knew her. She regretted leaving that area of the new state of Oklahoma. Aunt Daisy always reminisced sorrowfully to her sister, Gladys, how those who bought their homestead near Konawa struck oil! My grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, usually brushed off her big sister’s remorse over black gold.

                Even though Bill Rainey convinced Rosie to move north, much to Daisy’s dismay, not all was lost. On February 26, 1911, seventeen- year -old Daisy pledged her lifelong devotion to the young man who had stolen her heart, Ernest Rice. (Ironically, on the same 1910 census page as the Rainey family entry was the record for Jim and Minnie Rice and his brother, Ernest who also lived in the Konawa area. Ernest was 22 years of age.) The newlyweds celebrated their wedding in Pawnee County, Oklahoma, at her parents’ home.

Daisy and Ernest Rice's Wedding Photograph
Image source: Findagrave for Ernest E. Rice*

Her mother planned the best festive dinner she could for her oldest daughter’s marriage. The table was set, delicious food had been prepared, and all was ready for a joyful time. Then a nightmare for Daisy and her mother began to develop.

According to Daisy’s ten-year-old sister, Gladys, their beloved father convinced the groom and several of the young and old men in attendance to imbibe some type of alcohol. They actually drank enough to be staggering and quite inebriated. Grandma said her mother and Daisy were distraught and crying. The women at the wedding celebration were appalled at the men’s behavior on this memorable occasion. Typical of Bill Rainey, he tried to smooth it over with lightheartedness. That approach didn’t work well.

Despite the rocky beginning, young Daisy and Ernest settled into a partnership of hard work and love. Within a year or so, they moved across the Arkansas River to the Big Bend in southwest Osage County. Aunt Daisy never forgot how hard she and Ernest worked to clear “the 80.” This parcel of land was an 80-acre lease where the two of them toiled with backbreaking labor to meet the requirements of the lease. She recalled how she tied canvas on her feet to work with the man she loved to accomplish a near impossibility for only two – one a teenager and the other in his middle twenties. Daisy and Ernest, even though young, understood marriage to be a commitment to each other, no matter how hard or challenging the road became.

The thirty-eight years they shared before his death seemed all too brief for Daisy. Even though she went on to live almost 30 years without him, I sensed she felt incomplete without the man who provided strength, stability, and protection for her. Every couple could benefit from following the example of Daisy and Ernest Rice and in turn, our families, our communities, and our nation would be stronger.
*http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=16367036&PIpi=52832364