My
mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, continues to be my primary source for many of the
blog postings. She sometimes consults a five-year diary given to her in 1936.*
Thankfully, she didn’t fastidiously keep it. Instead of writing in it daily, she wrote primarily important
events, spanning over 50 years. Some of the details of this week’s blog are
courtesy of that old, worn five-year diary.
Christmas Courting Gifts of Love
In 1944, Christmas found my father, Edmund Gates, Jr., celebrating for the first time with
his family in the Big Bend. He hadn’t been at home with his family for
Christmas since 1940, before World War II changed most families in the United
States.
Shortly after the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, he enlisted, requesting the air force, and was in basic training at Sheppard Field at Wichita Falls, Texas, by Christmas Day, 1941. Dad observed both Christmases of 1942 and 1943 in England while
flying combat missions with the Eighth Air Force.
Words failed to express the deep-set emotion connected to that
1944 Christmas on the Gates family farm situated on the south bank of the
Arkansas River on the northwest side of the river’s lower bend. He pushed to
the back of his mind, that his pilot, Fred A. Rabo, was still a German prisoner
of war. Living by his own philosophy, there was nothing he could do about it, so he just put one foot in front of the other, and celebrated with his family.
The Christmas season of 1945 was different. Dad reveled in
celebrating his first Christmas after being discharged from the military in
September. Earlier that year, Dad was visited by Alvie Wescott, the ball turret
gunner on the doomed B-17 crew, piloted by Fred A. Rabo. Wescott conveyed that
he, Steve Keaton, the tail gunner, Fred, and “Red” Morgan, the co-pilot,
survived the explosion of the bomber that ill-fated day in March of 1944. Just prior to
the war’s end, the four of them were released from the harsh treatment of the
German prison camps. What good news since Dad had flown many missions with
Fred, Alvie, and Steve!
This year Edmund could turn his attention to more important things
like selecting a “dandy” gift for Bernyce, the pretty, but quiet girl that his own
father approved of. My creative father went into Cuzalina’s Drug Store in Ponca
City and picked out the navy leather train case with a mirror inside the lid.
He asked C.R. Cuzalina, the owner, to fill the train case to the top with items
that a 21-year-old woman would want. Mr. Cuzalina quizzed Dad about his
girlfriend’s hair and eye color. Then he began selecting lipsticks, blush or rouge as it was called then, foundation,
perfumes, body lotions, face creams, face powder, face soap, hair products, and
anything a young woman’s fashion heart could desire. As Dad exited the store
into the crisp December air, he knew he would surprise and please Bernyce with
this gift.
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| Cuzalina Building on Grand Avenue in Ponca City from: http://www.poncacity.com/history/additional/downtown/buildings.html |
Mother could hardly believe her eyes when she opened the gift. Edmund had filled that elegant train case with items she had dreamed of having, but she could have never afforded to buy. How many hours of fun she had experimenting with the myriad of makeup choices!
Although the contents of the navy train case have long been used,
Mother retained the case itself. She began storing her vintage photographs in
the gifted case. Each time it is opened to view her older pictures, the memory
of the thoughtful and exciting Christmas gift of 1945, and the joy it brought
revives cherished remembrances of a Christmas past.
Dad seemed frugal, never stingy, but definitely conservative in his spending. Mother estimated that he spent at least $50 that Christmas of 1945. According to www.dollartimes.com, $50 spent in 1945 would be equivalent or have the same buying power as $664.50 in 2016! I think both my paternal and maternal grandparents thought he was extravagant, but what could they say? Edmund was 26 years old, a decorated World War II veteran, and making his own way.
On December 24, 1946, Mother wrote in her little, black diary that
my father gave her a rose gold watch crafted by Winton. Evidently, they were
comfortable enough with each other for her to know that he purchased the watch
at Drake’s Jewelry in Ponca City, Oklahoma. She noted in the diary entry that
he paid $75.00. Based on the calculation provided by www.dollartimes.com, the
watch would cost $974.69 if purchased for Christmas 2016!
These were only the beginning of many gifts, ranging from pieces
of jewelry and sterling silver flatware to perfume and clothing. The thoughtfulness
that he invested in selecting each gift, along with the generosity stemming from his
love for Mother, warms her heart even after his death.
A couple of thoughts come to my mind as I recalled these early years
in my parents’ relationship. Mother could attest that Dad didn’t not care
whether she had makeup on. I have heard Dad say, when Mother’s hair was wild, right before she shampooed and set
it, “Bernyce, you look beautiful!”
At the time, I thought it was a sarcastic put-down for how
atrocious her hair looked. Yet now that I have gained some perspective in life,
he really thought she looked fine. Plus, he liked to get a rise out of her when she replied, “Edmund, I can’t go by what
you say!”
He chose that navy train case full of stuff that a
twenty-something young woman would want. He was thinking of her. If he had been
thinking of himself, he might have given her a rifle so she could hunt with
him, but he had gotten to know her well enough to know what she would be
thrilled with at Christmas. After all, Christmas is about giving.
God gave His Son who chose to relegate Himself to the confines of a human body. Jesus lived a life of compassion, healing, and teaching to exemplify the love of God as no other revelation could. As rebellious humans, we did not realize what we desired most was the spirit of our Creator to forgive us and indwell us. Through His death on the cross, He would provide the perfect method to redeem us from our sin. Only “God Himself” could fill the “infinite abyss” within each of us, as Blaise Pascal so eloquently stated in his quote. (Pensees by Pascal. New York; Penguin Books, 1966. This quote in its entirety appeared in this blog post at: https://itsjustme.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/the-correct-quote-of-blaise-pascal/)
I examined the beautiful
rose gold watch and recalled a frequently-repeated quote from Dad: Time and tide wait for no man. Time
wasted or abused can never be reclaimed. We have this Christmas season to worship the Savior with our commitment to
obey His words as He gave them to us in the Bible. Then as an outpouring of our
devotion to the Holy Child in the manger, we can extend His love to others.
With hearts full of thankfulness for the gift of His Perfect One dying on the
cross for our imperfections, may we offer our genuine love to those in our
families, with words expressing what each one means to us and embracing them in
the grace that God has graciously extended to us. This Christmas season of 2016
will never return. Let’s purposefully honor Him. Then resolve to carve out
family remembrances, unique to 2016, knowing the memories created with our
loved ones this season will warm future Christmases to come.
*
Mother’s little black five-year diary recorded much of her early
memories, as well as any memorable events over her lifetime. The diary was
given by her teacher at Belford Grade School and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. W.C.
Tautfest, on December 25, 1936. Mrs. Tautfest, only age 21, seemed to develop
an affinity for my mother, Bernyce Smith Gates. She and Mother were both only
children with no siblings. They shared a love of music, and both were pianists.
Mr. and Mrs. Tautfest socialized with Mother’s parents, Calvin Callcayah and
Gladys Rainey Smith. Mother even recalled, as a preteen, going with the
Tautfests to visit her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kuballa in Ceres, Oklahoma.
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| Willard Clarence Tautfest from my grandmother's photo album. |
Mother often asks me to play a piano piece after we sing each evening. Just a couple of nights ago, I played The Bells of St. Mary's. As soon as I played the last note. She said that Mrs. Tautfest had introduced the song to her. It had only been out for nine years since it had been written in 1917. Mother sang it for a vocal solo. Later, in 1945, the song would be featured in a movie of the same title that starred Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman. Once again, the Benders were on the cutting edge!
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| Mildred Kuballa Tautfest from Gladys Rainey Smith's photo album. |
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