Peaceful Living in 2019

This was initially published online during 2016 at christiandevotions.us.

After hearing this sad account from a friend who worked with this poor man several years ago, I felt contention needed to be addressed so wrote this several years ago. What a difficult life, what a challenging relationship, and what an unpleasant home to return to each day!

Avoiding the Damage of Contention 

            It was a second marriage. She found fault in most things he did. He let her sleep in each morning since he was the only one that needed to get to a job. She complained about how noisy he was as he prepared for the day. He began pouring his cereal each night because she grumbled that the pinging sounds of the dry cereal on the bowl disturbed her sleep in the morning! After her death, people around him remarked how his countenance lifted and joy became apparent in his life again.

                                      
           Contention is the opposite of peacemaking. A contentious person finds fault with others’ actions, words, and decisions. Harsh criticism often accompanies contention. Nagging goes hand in hand with contention.
           No wonder King Solomon, the writer of Proverbs,* indicates the victim of contention would rather be "roughing it" in adverse conditions than in comfortable surroundings with a miserable, harassing contender. Even though the King of the Golden Age of Israel’s history identifies the contentious one as a female, a contentious spirit is by no means relegated to only women. In my lifetime, I have observed contentious men who found fault with anyone. Nevertheless, here is King Solomon’s terse statement on nagging from Proverbs 21:19:

                It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.

         Do we frequently find fault or disagree with those in our families? We should ask, "Will my comment improve the situation or am I just being picky?" Another question to curb contention is "Would I want my family members to make a similar statement to me?" If we would not want that statement directed at us, then we need to choose not to say it to our loved one.
         Affirmation and praise, sprinkled sparingly with constructive criticism, lay the foundation for a more harmonious place to live. Trusting, strong relationships flourish in a contention-reduced environment. 

Lord, cleanse me of faultfinding. When I am tempted to speak contentious words and Your spirit reminds me to hold my tongue, may I obey. I realize if I choose to obey Your prompting, I am taking a step to provide a home that is an inviting, safe place for those I hold dear. Make me aware of the lasting power of godly words of encouragement in my home. 

* The backstory that looms largest in the bio of King Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, and eclipses his God-given wisdom is the astronomical number of women in his life – 700 wives and 300 concubines! It seems likely at least a few of those relationships might have been with a contentious woman. It wasn’t God’s plan, but Solomon’s human attempt to galvanize international alliances with other leaders of his era with these marriages.