Faith_Family_Farm: An Extravagant Wedding Does Not a Marriage Make

The original publishing of this blog post occurred on March 2, 2014. This reposting appears with some editing.

Here’s a stat you may not know. According to the site weddingstats.org, in 2022, the average cost of a wedding in the United States will be around $33,000. The honeymoon is an add-on!

My parents were married 74 years ago on March 4, 1948. Mother affirmed they had a blessed marriage leading to a happy life of contentment together. Let’s be honest, though. They really didn’t have much of a wedding.
Mother and Dad had their first “date” when she agreed to meet him at the carnival of the Osage County Fair in Pawhuska. She was still in high school. He was five years older than she was so was already out of school. Dad arrived late. That didn’t stop Mother because she loved amusement rides. So since she had time on her hands, she rode with several other guys who asked her to ride. In one sense that was just fine with Dad. Even though he would later fly twenty-five missions over enemy territory in Europe, he wasn’t as wild about amusement rides as Mother.

They wrote to each other during his service in World War II beginning in 1941 through 1945. Dad remained in the Air Force Reserves as a technical sergeant. Mother had graduated from high school in 1943, but she refused to marry him as long as he was connected in any way with the military. He fulfilled his commitment in the Air Force Reserves in early 1948.

                Back to the wedding…  Not many things were planned except perhaps their blood tests. They had their blood tests at Dr. Gibson’s office in Ponca City a few weeks prior to their wedding ceremony.
                Clothes were not a major expense nor did selecting them take much time. Dad had help from his sisters Ella and Mary when buying clothes after his discharge in 1945. His sisters helped him buy clothes with his mustering out pay. Actually, his sisters both had quite a sense of style and encouraged him to select a well-made suit. In his mind, why waste a good suit?
                Mother chose a gray with white stripe suit with a matching three-quarter length coat. She spent less than $50 on her three-piece ensemble. She accentuated with a white silk scarf.
                On their way to Tulsa, they swung by Pawnee to see Ernest Rice who was hospitalized at the Pawnee Municipal Hospital. My grandmother, Gladys Smith was staying with him. Grandmother often stayed with sick relatives since she was a trained nurse. Ernest was her brother-in-law, married to her oldest sister Daisy Dean Rainey Rice. Both my parents recalled Ernest congratulating them even though he was ill. Other than Mother’s parents, Ernest Rice was the only one who actually knew they were getting married.
                Planning was not their strong suit in those days. They thought they could get a marriage license in Pawnee at the courthouse. Little did they know until they were told the license must be bought in the county where the wedding ceremony would be performed.
                They put the pedal to the metal and arrived at the Tulsa County Courthouse at 4:55 p.m. Neither of them admitted to running up the courthouse steps. They made it just in the nick of time to get the marriage license for $2.00.
                Dad pulled into a flower shop in Tulsa and ordered a gardenia corsage. They waited while the florist made the corsage for under $5.00. Mother still comments on its wonderful fragrance.
                Dad had thought and planned for Mother’s ring. She had selected it at Drake’s Jewelry Store in Ponca City. It was a wedding set valued at $234 which would be around $2,730 today. Mother’s parents, even her doting father, thought the purchase of Mother’s wedding ring set was extravagant, and the money should have been saved for actually living after the wedding.
                With marriage license in hand, they arrived at Rev. O. W. Webb’s office at his church, Beams of Light Tabernacle on Harvard Avenue in Tulsa to be married. Mother and Dad admired the way Rev. Webb provided for a group of around ten children in a beautifully furnished home. In fact, my parents financially supported this children's home.

               My parents had given no thought to the need for witnesses. One of the witnesses was the pastor’s secretary. A service was to be held that evening. So the other witness appeared to be someone who arrived a little early for church. Boy! Was that person in for a surprise when grabbed to act as a witness for a wedding in the pastor’s study!
                Dad did have reservations at the Mayo Hotel in Tulsa for their wedding night. Mother allowed Dad to plan the honeymoon. He planned for them to go to Dallas. Much to Mother’s horror now, Dad saw no problem with dropping by his sister Ella’s home unannounced and getting to stay a free night with her and Harry, her husband.
                The next day they drove to Dallas arriving after dark. Dad had so wanted them to stay at the Baker Hotel, but no GPS in 1948, and he was unable to locate it. They found cottages to rent for the night, checked in, and were taken to to their cottage. Mother wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but she deemed the room to be unsafe and unsatisfactory since there was no way to lock the door. To no one’s surprise, Dad didn’t get his money returned. Finally, Mother and Dad checked into Hotel Jefferson a little before midnight and stayed the duration of their honeymoon there.

Back to the wedding…It really wasn’t much of a wedding – no fancy clothes, a mere corsage for flowers, no music, no guests, no photographer. But wow! Most people who knew them agreed they had a fantastic marriage of mutual respect, built on an unshakeable faith in the Lord enabling them to have strong trust in each other. Their advice…Don’t save up for the wedding, instead invest all you have – emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally - in the marriage. The returns are limitless.