128 Years Ago Today

Calvin Callcayah Smith 

A Photograph Shared Digitally
by Alan Yarborough from his
grandmother, Elizabeth Purcell
Hammer's collection. His
grandmother and my mother,
Bernyce Smith Gates, were
cousins. The photo was labeled
"Calvin in his WWI Uniform."

128 years ago today, on March 13, 1894, my maternal grandpa was born in the Hickory Grove community in Delaware District in the Cherokee Nation. The state of Oklahoma did not exist. Instead, the land that would become Oklahoma was divided into Oklahoma Territory and Indian Territory. The Cherokee Nation was in Indian Territory.

                His father, Walter Smith gave his second son, my grandpa, the name Cul-lah-ca* after his father, a Cherokee Trail of Tears survivor. Cul-lah-ca was his name listed on the Drennan Roll of 1851, a record of those of Cherokee Descent living in the Cherokee Nation. In 1851, Cul-lah-ca, my great-great grandfather, was 18 years old. When he was around the age of five to six years old, he walked the Trail of Tears with his widowed mother and younger brother from their home in Georgia.  Cul-lah-ca would have been 61 years old at the time of Grandpa’s birth but had died in the Civil War in 1862 before reaching the age of 30, according to family records.

                My grandfather valued education and loved learning. Of the four adults in our home, he persisted in stressing the need for me to go to a teachers’ college. Ironically, he only attended formal schooling to the fourth grade, saying he dropped out because he was needed to work. Yet so many times he and my grandmother were friends of the schoolteachers of the Bend. He valued intelligent people and enjoyed conversation about ideas and philosophy with them.

                Grandpa married my grandma, a creative workaholic. Grandpa was heard once to tell her, when in his 70s, that sometimes he just liked to sit. Grandma, a visionary, frequently had a “project” on her “drawing board.” The Depression didn’t squelch her creativity. My mother heard him say, with a bit of exasperation in his voice, “You want me to make something from nothing!” Not only did they do projects together but farmed and gardened together.

                My mother, the only child of my maternal grandparents, attested her “daddy” was a doting father. However, she recently recalled that as an adolescent she wanted to do something, and Grandma had denied her request. Mother and Grandpa spoke very little to each other, but she gathered courage and approached him with her desire. Grandpa asked her what her mother said. When she replied, her responded, “You better do what she tells you to do.” Despite his laidback, permissive manner, Mother learned her parents were in solidarity for her good.

One of my favorite photos of my mother** and her father. It shows her in her

terrible twos and his determination to restrain her from getting down (even though

he was considered permissive). L-R: Leo Rainey, Grandpa holding Mother,

Johnie Rainey, and Lewis Rainey. Lewis was Grandpa's brother-in-law and the boys

were his nephews. This photo from Grandma's album first appeared in:

https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2017/10/the-90th-year-of-belford-bridge.html

                Finally, Grandpa set a stellar example for the best practice for preparing to teach, especially to teach God’s word. The man, with only a fourth-grade education, following Sunday lunch, retired to his chair in the living room with his trusted red pencil in hand with his Bible and Sunday School teacher’s commentary and begin preparing for the next Sunday’s lesson. He spent time daily preparing to teach his men’s Sunday School class.

                In my memory, I hear the faithful prayers that he prayed for “the girls” and know God is continuing to answer those prayers for my sister, and me. The Bible indicates in heaven are golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints (Revelation 5:8).

Only when I reached adulthood did I realize that Grandpa was in his mid-30s before he embraced the forgiveness Jesus offers to those who come to Him. What a difference his commitment to Jesus made in my life!

May each of us strive to make an impact on the lives who are in our sphere of influence. We can start as Grandpa did with prayer for them and then model a life worth emulating when we obey Jesus daily. 

*Grandpa’s legal name was spelled Callcayah since that was how it appeared on the Dawes Roll of Original Cherokee Allottees. When I visited with Ruben Hopper who grew up with Grandpa in Eastern Oklahoma, he often referred to Grandpa as Cul-lah-ca or Cul.

**This is the earliest photograph we have of my mother. 

Other Blog Postings about Grandpa, Calvin Callcayah Smith
The Legacy - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-legacy.html

The Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918 - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-spanish-flu-pandemic-of-1918.html

Post that Explains How Grandpa Came to Osage County - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/01/did-warmest-january-in-oklahoma-during.html

The Ford and the Flood - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-ford-and-flood.html

School Shopping in 1932 - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2019/08/school-shopping-in-1932.html

Tobacco, Tents, and Thieving in the Thirties - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2017/03/tobacco-tents-and-thieving-in-thirties.html

Grandpa Could Pull 'Em In Right and Left  - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/03/grandpa-could-pull-em-in-right-and-left.html

The Need I Didn't Know I Had

              The morning dawned on a spring-like winter day. I considered a spring-like winter day a gift, an opportunity to prepare. So often during this winter season bitterly cold, harsh and truly wintery days followed on the heels of the boon of the spring-like winter day.

            Having fed the cats, I noticed a screen door slightly ajar to the old freezer room. Normally, I would never have spotted this partly open door. With blowing snow and frigidly cold temperatures approaching, that door needed to be secured. It appeared a slight adjustment was needed on the latch. Prayerfully, I chalked this up as an early morning blessing.

The latch catch that
 needed an adjustment.

            I mentally made note of the need to locate a hammer and alter the latch catch to secure the door before the spring-like winter day ended. Then the second blessing occurred. As I entered the enclosed back porch, I noticed Dad’s old red hammer lying clearly in my view. (A picture of the vintage hammer can be seen at:   https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2021/01/dads-old-hammer.html )

Something on that spring-like winter day propelled me to pick up the vintage hammer and with a few strategic taps the screen door catch was back in service, holding the door closed just hours before the winter storm was scheduled to hit. I could hardly believe the blessing just minutes after awakening with a slight depression hanging over me.

David was inspired to write in Psalm 34:17 – The righteous cry out and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. But I had not cried out to Him. I had just briefly prayed earlier that morning, “Lord, I need You.

David also wrote under the inspiration of God’s Spirit in Psalm 40:1 these words. I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. Yet again I had not “cried” to the Lord so had no “waiting” on the Lord.

I did not know the need I had, but God did. The phrase spoken by Jesus in Matthew 6:8 affirms this. He said, For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. 

Moses, under the inspiration of God, penned these words, And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed. The scripture from Deuteronomy 31:8 so aptly described my situation that morning. God had gone before me. His presence and blessings that morning pointed me to the path away from dismay or anxiety. 

An awareness of His presence always refocuses us on Him and His promise to never leave or forsake us. In our unpredictable world, I cannot think of a better promise to redirect my thoughts.

An Extravagant Wedding Does Not a Marriage Make

              The original publishing of this blog post occurred on March 2, 2014. This reposting appears with some editing.

Here’s a stat you may not know. According to the site weddingstats.org, in 2022, the average cost of a wedding in the United States will be around $33,000. The honeymoon is an add-on!

                My parents were married 74 years ago on March 4, 1948. Mother affirmed they had a blessed marriage leading to a happy life of contentment together. Let’s be honest, though. They really didn’t have much of a wedding.
                Mother and Dad had their first “date” when she agreed to meet him at the carnival of the Osage County Fair in Pawhuska. She was still in high school. He was five years older than she was so was already out of school. Dad arrived late. That didn’t stop Mother because she loved amusement rides. So since she had time on her hands, she rode with several other guys who asked her to ride. In one sense that was just fine with Dad. Even though he would later fly twenty-five missions over enemy territory in Europe, he wasn’t as wild about amusement rides as Mother.

                They wrote to each other during his service in World War II beginning in 1941 through 1945. Dad remained in the Air Force Reserves as a technical sergeant. Mother had graduated from high school in 1943, but she refused to marry him as long as he was connected in any way with the military. He fulfilled his commitment in the Air Force Reserves in early 1948.

                Back to the wedding…  Not many things were planned except perhaps their blood tests. They had their blood tests at Dr. Gibson’s office in Ponca City a few weeks prior to their wedding ceremony.
                Clothes were not a major expense nor did selecting them take much time. Dad had help from his sisters Ella and Mary when buying clothes after his discharge in 1945. His sisters helped him buy clothes with his mustering out pay. Actually, his sisters both had quite a sense of style and encouraged him to select a well-made suit. In his mind, why waste a good suit?
                Mother chose a gray with white stripe suit with a matching three-quarter length coat. She spent less than $50 on her three-piece ensemble. She accentuated with a white silk scarf.
                On their way to Tulsa, they swung by Pawnee to see Ernest Rice who was hospitalized at the Pawnee Municipal Hospital. My grandmother, Gladys Smith was staying with him. Grandmother often stayed with sick relatives since she was a trained nurse. Ernest was her brother-in-law, married to her oldest sister Daisy Dean Rainey Rice. Both my parents recalled Ernest congratulating them even though he was ill. Other than Mother’s parents, Ernest Rice was the only one who actually knew they were getting married.
                Planning was not their strong suit in those days. They thought they could get a marriage license in Pawnee at the courthouse. Little did they know until they were told the license must be bought in the county where the wedding ceremony would be performed.
                They put the pedal to the metal and arrived at the Tulsa County Courthouse at 4:55 p.m. Neither of them admitted to running up the courthouse steps. They made it just in the nick of time to get the marriage license for $2.00.
                Dad pulled into a flower shop in Tulsa and ordered a gardenia corsage. They waited while the florist made the corsage for under $5.00. Mother still comments on its wonderful fragrance.
                Dad had thought and planned for Mother’s ring. She had selected it at Drake’s Jewelry Store in Ponca City. It was a wedding set valued at $234 which would be around $2,730 today. Mother’s parents, even her doting father, thought the purchase of Mother’s wedding ring set was extravagant, and the money should have been saved for actually living after the wedding.
                With marriage license in hand, they arrived at Rev. O. W. Webb’s office at his church, Beams of Light Tabernacle on Harvard Avenue in Tulsa to be married. Mother and Dad admired the way Rev. Webb provided for a group of around ten children in a beautifully furnished home. In fact, my parents financially supported this children's home. 

                My parents had given no thought to the need for witnesses. One of the witnesses was the pastor’s secretary. A service was to be held that evening. So the other witness appeared to be someone who arrived a little early for church. Boy! Was that person in for a surprise when grabbed to act as a witness for a wedding in the pastor’s study!
                Dad did have reservations at the Mayo Hotel in Tulsa for their wedding night. Mother allowed Dad to plan the honeymoon. He planned for them to go to Dallas. Much to Mother’s horror now, Dad saw no problem with dropping by his sister Ella’s home unannounced and getting to stay a free night with her and Harry, her husband.
                The next day they drove to Dallas arriving after dark. Dad had so wanted them to stay at the Baker Hotel, but no GPS in 1948, and he was unable to locate it. They found cottages to rent for the night, checked in, and were taken to to their cottage. Mother wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but she deemed the room to be unsafe and unsatisfactory since there was no way to lock the door. To no one’s surprise, Dad didn’t get his money returned. Finally, Mother and Dad checked into Hotel Jefferson a little before midnight and stayed the duration of their honeymoon there.

                Back to the wedding…It really wasn’t much of a wedding – no fancy clothes, a mere corsage for flowers, no music, no guests, no photographer. But wow! Most people who knew them agreed they had a fantastic marriage of mutual respect, built on an unshakeable faith in the Lord enabling them to have strong trust in each other. Their advice…Don’t save up for the wedding, instead invest all you have – emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally - in the marriage. The returns are limitless.

This is considered my parents' wedding portrait.

It was taken on March 4, 1951, their third

wedding anniversary. When my sister and I

asked about their wedding pictures, they pointed

to this one.

My parents posing for their 50th wedding

anniversary portrait by Jerry James.

Bernyce and Edmund Gates, Jr.
for their 60th wedding anniversary.
 The portrait was taken by Shontel.