Just Because It's Carved In Stone Doesn't Make It True

My Aunt and Uncle, the Sleuths

Lou and Jim Gates as photographed by Catherine Marie Gates Leforce
at my parents' 60th wedding anniversary celebration in March, 2008.

       As I write the weekly blog post each week, I learn. One of my earliest blog posts dealt with Grandma Mamie Irene Tripp Gates’s family. I mentioned that Grandma had one sister, Cora. Later from Aunt Lou and Uncle Jim Gates, I learned Cora Dell had a twin sister, Nora Bell. They had been born on May 10, 1898. To verify the information, Jim and Lou contacted Shirley Gallatin Martin, Cora’s daughter who lives in California. According to Shirley, Nora Bell was always sickly, based on what her mother related to her about her twin sister. Shirley told Lou and Jim that Nora Bell Tripp died around age two.

       The first problem becomes apparent. The gravestone in Pawhuska marking the burial place of little Nora Bell has an incorrect birth year. It states “1888” instead of “1898.” Based on Shirley’s account, Nora Bell died in 1900, not 1903 as is carved on the tombstone pictured below. If November 2, 1900, is the correct date of her death, then Little Nora Bell died just over a week after her father, Rufus Tripp, died.

Nora Bell Tripp's tombstone as seen on findagrave.com

      The other complexity deals with a lack of death certificates in the early 1900s. Even if a death certificate existed, due to the rise in identity theft, it has become increasingly difficult to get a copy even for genealogical and family research purposes.

      I have corrected the blog post entitled One of the Hardest Things for a Little Girl to Do, to include Nora Bell, the initially missing twin. Her death year, in spite of additional research, remains uncertain. Just because something is carved in stone does not attest to its accuracy. This fact I have learned from this experience.

      I am deeply indebted to Jim and Lou Gates for their input, effort, and even a trip to the cemetery in Pawhuska to gain more truth about this little sister of my grandmother, Mamie Irene Tripp Gates.

      As I filtered this account through my mind, I realized that my grandmother faced more heartache than I knew. Based on information that my aunt and uncle gathered, one of Grandma’s little twin sisters began life battling poor health. A family member with an ongoing illness affects the entire family. As sensitive as Grandma was, I know her little sister’s poor health was an additional burden for her as a little girl to bear. Yet as the oldest sister, I feel sure Grandma shouldered as much responsibility as a five- to eight- year-old could. If Nora Bell did die in 1900 as her twin sister, Cora, had told her daughter, Shirley Gallatin Martin, then my grandmother as only a five-year-old, grieved the death of her little sister just days after sorrowing over her beloved father’s passing.

      What strength the matriarch of the Gates family possessed! Grandma never hinted at allowing her losses to sour her on life. The devastating grief over not just one death but two in the life of a young girl must have shattered and broken her inside. Yet somehow as a little one, Mamie Irene Tripp, realized allowing one’s heart to be comforted and mended also enlarges the heart for love and genuine affection. 
       One of my fondest memories of Grandma was her response to a thoughtful comment, a considerate gesture, or a sweet action from someone in our family. She always responded with her favorite remark spoken in her most loving tone, “Wasn’t that dear?” May each of us who descend from her follow her example of using hardship and hurt as a springboard for compassion, kindness, and love.