Proverbs, Pupils, and the Preacher

The Power of the Perennial Proverb

Zane Vandaveer

                The last Woodland High School baccalaureate service that I had attended was five years ago. Helping my family care for my father following his stroke became paramount over all other activities, but I still missed those end-of-year school events. I viewed my presence at these milestone experiences as a signal of my support for those former students. How important it seemed to me to give them congratulations on what they had accomplished and encouragement for the new adventure on which they were embarking!

Bridget Rogers

Cecil Barden and Nolan Bratton

                Since Dad died in October of 2015, with mixed emotions, I walked up the steps of the Fairfax Christian Church for the baccalaureate service on May 11. My father thrived on these times. He counted each senior that he knew as a friend even though the age gap was over 70 years. He took very seriously being a source of encouragement to these young people.

Hannah Godfrey and Kelsey Anson

             My life had changed so much from the years when I taught third graders. I didn’t often think of my days in the classroom with eager 8-year-olds. These now-grown-up “kids” filed  down the aisle of the church. A flood of memories filled my mind.

                Jay Clapp, the pastor of the Fairfax Assembly of God Church, began the message to the Class of 2016. He mentioned his intent to use quotes to remind the seniors of their need to future commitment. Then he began quoting proverbs, some of which had been on my perennial proverb bulletin board in my third grade classroom so many years prior.

Julz Brown

             You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

            Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

            When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Honesty is the best policy.

Madeline Pennington

Rowdy Heath and Gage McKinney

                As I listened, I thought how each of these proverbs continued to be important in my life as a retired teacher. How important it had been for me to live out these proverbs in my daily life!

                Solomon wrote in Proverbs 16:34 “Kind words are like honey; they are easy to accept and good for your health.” As we cared for Dad, my mother frequently mentioned the importance of kindness. His condition worsened and became tenuous, but with our kind urging, he would swallow nourishing meals Mother prepared, surprising his medical team. Kind exchanges between Mother, my sister, my brother-in-law, and me strengthened us and deepened our respect for each other. Throughout his life, I observed Dad approach people in difficult situations “in a kind way.” That is using honey instead of vinegar.

                Jesus Himself spoke what is known as “The Golden Rule.” Bottom line, Treat others they way you want to be treated. This attitude excludes retaliation, bullying, intimidation, or verbal or physical abuse. What a different community, nation and world we would have if we only lived out this one principle!

                When I heard Jay say, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” I realized how much I had learned about that proverb since I had taught these Seniors of 2016. The first year  that I retired, I toughened up through innumerable experiences. I recalled the first winter when lifting a heavy vintage iron bale ring, with tears streaming down my cheeks, as I yelled the prayer in the pasture, “Lord, help me. I have to get this hay out. The storm is coming.”As I stepped back to watch the cattle devour the hay, I realized I was developing physical and emotional toughness. At other times, when listening  to Dad’s labored breathing on several different nights, I prayed for the strength or “toughness” to trust Dad to the Lord and relax so I could get much-needed rest.

                Little did I know when I was teaching the value of honesty to third graders of its importance in my life upon retirement. On numerous occasions, I answered the phone and had to say after a few minutes, “I’ve got to go check on Dad.” Over and over I had to decline participating in good endeavors. Dad needed my help more than any other person or group of people. I learned to form my mouth into “no” more frequently than I ever thought I could. The practice of responding honestly to requests proved to be a type of truthfulness I never mastered as a third grade teacher.

                As Jay encouraged the Seniors of 2016, I hope to continue to master implementing those proverbs in my daily life. No matter one’s age, position in life, or career path chosen, living out these pithy sayings will provide rewards far beyond any fathomable expectation.

               Just a note about the photographs - Most of the photos have students posed with collage hearts created prior to Mother's Day. Inside the students had written tributes to their mothers or grandmothers. A couple of the photographs, taken just before Christmas, show the students holding their own version of stained glass art reminiscent of a Judean shepherd with his sheep. Photographs provide such tangible memories of precious times in the past. Blessings to the 2016 Seniors of Woodland!

My Father's Greatest Gift

The Greatest Gift My Father Left Our Family

                Since I have been old enough to select a birthday or Father’s Day gift, June marked the time on my calendar to get both gifts purchased or created. Sometimes Father’s Day coincided with my father’s birthday because he was born on June 15. Dad’s death in October of 2015 changed my usual June shopping list.

                As I mulled over those changes in my mind, I reflected ironically on the best gift Dad left for us. What he left is intangible and cannot be sold or divided among us. Dad left us a peace of mind about his destination beyond this world.

                Numerous times, I heard him recount his decision in 1945 – he always delineated the year – to ask Jesus to forgive his sins and commit his life to follow Jesus. Not only did give the detail of the year but also usually mentioned he was at “the little Pentecostal church back in the Bend.” Dad related how, many times when he came to pick up my mother for a date, my maternal grandmother, Gladys Rainey Smith, reminded him that God had graciously spared his life during the combat missions he had flown with his crew in Europe over occupied France and Germany. Frequently, he came back with the comment, “The good guys didn’t make it back.” Of course, Grandma never missed a beat in letting him know that no one is good enough to go to heaven without Jesus.

                My sister and I never knew Dad before his commitment to follow Jesus. He wasn’t perfect, but he lived a servant’s life. Nothing delighted him more than helping someone. More than once, I have mentioned how easy it would have been to take advantage of him since he loved to do things to help me.

                Giving God the credit for the good in his life became a natural response for him. Dad’s relationship with the Lord had an element of a comfortable friendship. He recognized the overwhelming power of God, but his prayers had conversational flow. Phrases like, “Lord, You control the weather” punctuated his prayers.

                Many times when one of Dad’s cows had a calf, he would come in and say, “The Lord blessed us with a fine bull (or heifer) calf. “ The recognition that every good and perfect gift comes from above permeated Dad’s life. “Thank you, Lord” frequently came from his lips when a solution to a problem emerged. Whether it was getting an old piece of machinery to run or harvesting produce from his garden, Dad gave God “Glory” or thanks  for helping him get through day-to-day tasks. Once again, it reflected his lifestyle.

                In no way do I want to discredit a deathbed conversion, like the repentant thief who hung on the cross next to Jesus. Jesus promised him eternal life and assured him he would see him in Paradise (Heaven). The thief had no time to do good deeds and of course, our actions, deemed to be good, will never make us right with God. The Bible says, He saved us because of His mercy. It was not because of good deeds we did to be right with Him.

                But for those of us still living, we can choose the course of “nailing down” for our loved ones the place and time we accepted His offer of forgiveness and in turn, gave our lives to Him. We can follow that decision with our words, actions, and expressions of thankfulness for His everyday goodness to us. James writes, Show me your faith without doing anything, and I will show you my faith by what I do. Our deeds do not earn faith, but they certainly illustrate faith's presence in our lives.

Then when our last breath is taken, those who love and care for us will have memorable and comforting proof of our commitment to the One who created us and gave His life for us. That will be the greatest gift that can be left for them.               

My father celebrating his birthday and Father's Day in 2007.
 The glasses that Dad was wearing were his work glasses. He
selected these frames following cataract surgery since they were 
the only frames that met the allotted $50 amount that Medicare
would cover. One of the funnier stories surrounding those "hideous"
glasses involved Dad and his dear neighbor, Hubert Hutchens. Hube 
was helping Dad with a cow that was having complications with
 the birth of her calf. Hube decided  they'd better call for help. They 
called Carl Goad.  Somehow in the midst of all the goings on, Dad's glasses 
got knocked off. He said the cow stepped on them. My sister's response 
was, "Well at least the cow had good fashion sense!" Carl later chuckled
as he said, "I think I stepped on them." Angie, my sister, said, " Whatever  - 
at least they are gone!" 

           

To all fathers in our family and our community who support their families with unwavering stability, guiding with time-honored principles, and leading with sacrificial love, Happy Father's Day!

Parenting Pointers from the Pasture

As I prepare for Vacation Bible School, this devotional I had written came to mind. FYI- If you have children in your family or neighborhood in the Ralston area, let them know of these VBS opportunities this week:
Ralston Bible Church -Sunday through Wednesday (6/12-6/15) at 6-8 p.m.
Ralston Baptist Church - Monday through Friday (6/13-6/17) at 9:00-12 noon
An Issue of Trust

                In the spring of 2015, I checked the cattle daily, especially noting those that have not had their calves for that year. Complications for both mama and baby could occur. Usually I did my checking in the late afternoon each day because my mornings were filled with care for my father.

                One Monday morning was different. Dad’s nurse called to inform us of an hour delay before her arrival. Her delay would allow ample time for a quick check of my parents’ small herd.

                Jumping into Dad’s old pickup truck, I headed to the west pasture. As I approached the grazing herd, one of the three-year old cows dubbed “Mask” by me, based on the black coloring over her white face, came charging at the vintage vehicle. Maybe she associated the hum of the motor of the pickup with the feeding of cattle pellets in the winter months. Circling around the cattle that were grazing on the spring grass, I got a correct count quickly. Swinging the pickup around, I drove back to the house, satisfied that all the bovines were there. Then I noticed Mask in the east side of the pasture. I chuckled and exclaimed, “My goodness, she has a calf!” Sure enough, there nuzzled against her mama’s side was a tiny, white-faced red calf.

                I detoured slightly to investigate the newest addition to my parents’ herd. Mask moved rapidly, maneuvering the new baby to shield her from me by getting the little one so I could not even glimpse her. Then Mask broke into a run with the tiny baby in pursuit.

Mask running away with her 2nd calf - 2015

                I realized I was making her uncomfortable, even though I was keeping quite a distance from her. I snapped a quick photo to share with my father and drove toward the house.

                As I bumped along in the old pickup, I reflected on Mask. My memory rolled back to the year she was born. I recall seeing her as a baby calf and instantly spotting her “mask” and recognizing it set her apart.

One of the First Photos of Mask in 2012

Mask and Her First Calf - 2014

                      Then I remember last year when she had her first calf, how calm she was when I drove up to check on the cattle and spotted her first tiny baby.

                It was a matter of trust. Mask knew me. I had fed her two winters - every day. She felt quite comfortable with me. But she just couldn’t trust me with this second calf.

                What she didn’t realize was that I was spending all this time with the herd for their good. I wanted her baby to be as healthy as possible. I really wasn’t a threat to Mask or her new calf. Nevertheless, after I first saw Mask and her second calf, Mask hid her little heifer calf out for five days!

                Sometimes it seems people are like this toward God. He is their creator. He provides us all good things to enjoy. He gave his own Son for our forgiveness. He laid out a successful plan for rearing children with principles for their wellbeing, safety, and security for their entire lifetime. Yet how often parents try to dodge, avoid, and steer their children clear of the “rules” of the “overbearing” Heavenly Father!

                Here are some pointed and sobering verses for rearing little ones that are entrusted into our sphere of influence by the God who made them:

…The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)

Ways My Family Lived Out This Passage:

Grandma Gladys Rainey Smith insured I knew, by age 5, most of the Bible stories since she diligently read them to me.

My father, Edmund Gates, Jr., found a way in almost every circumstance to give glory to God and point out how He was working in everyday happenings.

Bernyce Smith Gates, my mother, encouraged and taught me to memorize by reciting the Bible verses to me. I am still learning Bible passages that way from my 91-year-old mother!

[Jesus] said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” (Mark 10:14)

Jesus called a small child over to him and put the child among them. Then He said, “I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom in the Kingdom of Heaven. And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trust in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck. (Matthew 18:2-6)

The Sermon in Stone in the Cemetery

Selecting a Tombstone for My Father

    Mother set a goal for herself, my sister, and me. She established Memorial Day of 2016 as the target date to have a tombstone erected at my father's grave. Memorial Day of 2016 would mark the first one since Dad's death in October of 2015.
    Fortunately, his name, his birth date, his death date, and their marriage date were non-negotiable. An epitaph, on the other hand, presented a decision that would be set in stone. What a dilemma for Mother!
    Angie presented some zingers when we began the search and subsequent discussion about optional epitaphs for Dad’s tombstone. The three that drew the most chuckles were:

I made some good deals and 

I made some bad ones

I really went in the hole with this one.

I’m just resting my eyes.

Please deactivate my Facebook.

   Mother related one that she had actually seen in a cemetery. Several times over the years, she has recited the thought-provoking epitaph. Here it is from her memory:

As you are now so once was I.

As I am now soon you will be.

Prepare for death and follow me.

    Other options in connection to a tombstone for Dad's burial place involved the color of stone, the size, and the shape. She quickly selected gray similar to our grandparents. Since it was near Mother’s parents, she decided to choose the same size and shape.
    As we discussed, I could tell Mother preferred a scripture verse for Dad’s tombstone. She began bouncing off me some of the ones she was considering. Since our trust in Jesus is essential to being prepared to die (as well as live), she quoted John 14:6 -

Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. 

No man cometh to the Father but by me.

   This verse, along with several others, was mentioned. We had to reschedule the appointment at the monument company due to an unforeseen conflict. The rescheduling of the meeting with the engraver bought Mother more time for deliberation and consideration about the epitaph.

   Finally, the night arrived prior to our appointment for choosing a grave marker for my father’s burial place. Mother, being a night owl, stayed up after I bid her goodnight. Quickly, I drifted off to sleep.
   The next morning Mother related eagerly the events of the previous evening. After I had gone to sleep, she watched a Ravi Zacharias’ presentation on a university campus on his program entitled “Let My People Think.” He closed with the Biblical quote from I Corinthians 2:9 as an impetus for university students to consider a faith in Jesus as opposed to the growing belief in agnosticism or atheism.

Front of the tombstone that Mother chose.

   As soon as Mother heard the world-renowned apologist conclude his cerebral, yet logically sound, lecture with these words from Holy Scripture, she knew they must be etched on the tombstone.

Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man,

The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

The side of the tombstone with the much pondered-over scripture verse.

   When she conveyed the words she wanted on the tombstone, I began carefully copying it to present to the engraver. Mother viewed the tombstone as a silent witness to continue expressing our belief in Jesus, God Incarnate, who provides strength for each day, peace and security in death, and  life eternal for those who have placed their faith in Him.