At the Bus Stop with Two Freshmen Benders

The Year My Mother Waited for the Bus to Ralston High School

My mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, began her first year of high school at Fairfax. Her parents took her the almost 5.5 miles to the bus stop at the Nine Mile Corner west of Fairfax and north of the Belford River Bridge. After two weeks, she transferred to Ralston High School and daily was taken by her parents the 1 ½ miles to the bus stop located at the Y just west of the Belford River Bridge. She and her friend Wanda Faye Forrest sometimes walked home when debarking from the bus. (Taken from the blog posting entitled: Oh No! He Has a Corsage! Here is a link to it: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/04/oh-no-he-has-corsage.html  )
The section above explains the reason Mother attended her freshman year at Ralston, somewhat out of default. In Mother’s words, “That 5.5 mile-trip to catch the Fairfax bus twice a day got old real quick for Mama and Daddy.”

Mother and Wanda Faye Forrest had been friends since earliest school days. Ada Forrest, the mother of Wanda, taught them in first grade at Belford Grade School. (A photo of Ada can be viewed at this blog posting: https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/01/grandmas-temper-and-turkey.html ) Daring Wanda invited Mother to venture outside the north fence of the schoolyard. Wanda had spotted sheep showers or wood sorrel which she purported to be delectable. Mrs. Forrest disagreed strongly with the adventuresome first graders’ choice of greens. Wanda got the first spanking. That day, Wanda Faye’s mother gave little Bernyce, my mother, the only spanking she received during her entire school career. The girls never went picking greens again during school hours.

Wanda Faye Forrest when she lived in
the Bend. from Grandma Gladys Rainey
Smith's photo album.

Mother described Wanda as "dramatic." Often friends have opposite qualities that are complementary. I can attest that I would never characterize my mother as "dramatic." I have told her prior to learning to read, I always preferred Dad's reading of a book over her rendition. Although Mother read and still reads aloud flawlessly, she retorted, "No wonder you liked it. He acted out the story!"

           Mother and Wanda began meeting the bus at the Y, just a fraction of a mile west of the Osage County end of the Belford Bridge spanning the Arkansas River. A small home at the Y provided a sheltered place for the two girls to wait for the bus. The home belonged to John Bailey who operated the small store located steps away from his home.           
          Mother, at age 93, commented how embarrassing to initially only remember the store owner’s nickname, Mr. Gruffy. My grandfather, known for attaching a nickname to many, nicknamed the store owner “Gruffy” because of his gravelly-sounding voice. (As a child, I struggled to keep the given names and nicknames of great-aunts and great-uncles on the Smith side connected with the right relatives. To this day, I know two nephews of Grandpa Calvin Callcayah Smith only  as "Box" and "Boots" - the only names Grandpa used for them.)
           Even though they were in their early teens, as Dad would say, “they pulled a kid trick.” Wanda Faye and Mother took advantage of the bicycle parked at the store. Mother nor Wanda had ever been on a bicycle. In their teen self-centeredness, they hardly noticed the chagrin of the store owner’s son. It was his bicycle. The boy protested loudly to his father when the inexperienced riders crashed his bike frequently. Kids in 1939 didn’t receive an abundance of toys so he prized his bicycle. Mother remembered Mr. Gruffy never corrected Wanda or her. My mother’s reserved personality and by her own admission, her dislike of falling when learning to ride caused her to yield the bike use to Wanda. Mother never learned to ride a bike. However, Wanda Faye mastered riding the bicycle. (I’ve wondered if Mother's conscience might have been smitten by the boy’s strident complaints over their use/misuse of his bicycle without his permission.).

Wanda and Mother -" We didn't 
have many pictures back then."

            One winter morning, as Mother waited alone for the arrival of the bus, she quietly observed Mr. Gruffy preparing his morning meal. A can of potted meat sat heating on the wood stove. As the roaring fire caused the can to expand, Mother reached to retrieve the swollen can. Before her gloved hand could remove it, it exploded, with a boom, as tiny pieces of potted meat were flung to each corner of the room. Mr. Gruffy’s elderly mother slept in the same room each morning. That morning the sleepy woman with her nightcap askew sat straight up in bed!
           As with many of her recollections, Mother is the only one still living. Wanda Faye Forrest Dominguez died in 2009, 70 years after they waited to be the first to board the Ralston School bus. Wanda served as administrator of several nursing homes. Her three brothers are all deceased, too.                 

My grandparents and my mother lived on the Lora Kirk Betts place during this time. Since the Forrest family lived on the place adjoining them on the north, the Smith and Forrest families socialized regularly. Grandpa and Bub, Wanda's father, enjoyed philosophizing and discussing current affairs. Ada and Grandma could have been classified industrious, bordering on being workaholics. Even though the boys were younger than Mother and Wanda, they shared many happy times together.     

Little Junior Forrest who grew up to be
                 Dr. William J. Forrest, renowned plastic
surgeon

My maternal grandfather, Calvin Callcayah Smith, marveled that those little Forrest boys who got their start in the Bend made quite a success of their lives. Junior became a highly-regarded plastic surgeon. Sid was a successful rancher in Washington County. The baby boy, Jack taught at Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, an educational institution that Grandpa held in high regard because of its location in the “old country” where he was born and raised.

            As a little one, I knew any time Wanda’s parents were coming back to the Bend, these were special people. Our family hosted Wanda, her husband, Andy, and their children, Gary and Janet, for a special meal. I knew this was a dear friend of my mother. Even though Gary and Janet were several years older than me, they made sure a four-year-old enjoyed the day, 

May we decide to form good memories when we interact with those who are meaningful in our lives. Prioritize choosing to be present with family members and friends, refusing to allow the temporal and transient to rob the precious time with those we love. In our hearts, we know those lost moments cannot be reclaimed, so let's make them count so they will last as long as Mother's memories have.