They Really Weren't Related

My mother's cousin, Arthur Calvin Smith, would have been 107 years old on his birthday on December 29th. When she discovered the almost-50-year-old letter recently,  I felt compelled to write this week's blog post.

My dad, Edmund Gates, Jr., always claimed “kin” to Bob Hopper. Dad waved at him each morning and evening as Bob drove by the farm picking up and delivering the Bend bus riders. Dad bought a lot of cattle feed from him, too.

I knew Calvin Callcayah Smith, my maternal grandfather, and Ruben Hopper, the father of Bob Hopper, had moved to Osage County from Hickory Grove in Delaware County in Eastern Oklahoma in the 1920s. Even though Grandpa was older than Mr. Hopper, I knew they were life-long friends. Yet my mother, Bernyce Gates, always disagreed with Dad’s statement about her familial relationship with the Hopper family.

My inquisitive nature as a kid began to delve into this incongruity in my parents’ assessment of who were relatives and who were not. Usually, my parents agreed on most things. However, since I knew my mother valued accuracy in what she said and did, I inquired about why Dad stated she and the Hoppers were related.

In her matter-a-fact tone, she downplayed Dad’s insistence on kinship. She reluctantly began what appeared an arduous explanation. Mother never valued repeating family history as frequently as Dad did.

John Datus and Martha Jones Smith from their 
granddaughter, Rayma Smith Redden's collection.
Interesting fact: Both J.D. and Martha were original 
Cherokee allottees on the Dawes Roll of 1907. 

Arthur Calvin  and Margorie Smith - from the 

  collection of Elizabeth Purcell Hammer, my
mother's cousin.

She said her father’s oldest brother, John Datus Smith, nine years older than my grandpa, married Martha Jones. Martha was the older sister (by 15 years) of Velma Jones Hopper. Mother was correct. She was not related to Bob Hopper and his siblings, but they shared the same first cousins, Arthur, Margie, and Colleen Smith.

There is a second way Mother shared relatives with Ruben and Velma Jones Hopper and their children. Mrs. Hopper’s uncle, Joe Jones, the brother of her father, married my grandpa’s sister, Susie Smith. Dad never mentioned this, but based on this Jones-Smith family connection, Mrs. Velma Hopper and my mother shared three cousins, too!

           This past month, Mother discovered a letter from Arthur Smith to my grandparents almost 50 years ago. At the age of three, I recall the only time I met Arthur - the day of his father’s funeral. As with all the Smith relatives, he had a nickname, Ott.

Many times, I heard Grandpa pray for Ott. My grandma had a reputation for being a “radical” Christian or a “fanatic” in her beliefs. As a preschooler, I learned those words as they were associated with Grandma’s strong commitment. Yet Ott’s letter addressed to both my grandparents seemed to be directed more to Grandpa.

The three-page letter indicated Arthur was battling illness. He chronicled briefly his quest for peace with the Lord, his yielding of his will to the Lord and his ultimate conversion. Even though, the letter was written almost a half century ago, it came alive as I read it for the first time. This quote jumped out at me.

Transcription of quote: Uncle Calvin I just want to be one of the
 humblest for Jesus and serve him the rest of my life. I ask him
every night to forgive me for any wrongs that I might of thought
 or said during that day and to help me through the next day. 

          Each of us can make a difference in lives of our loved ones and friends for eternity as we point them to Jesus. What surprise to see the signature was Arthur Calvin Smith! Grandpa had no son or grandson. I never knew he had a nephew named for him. But as I concluded the letter, I recalled verses written by the Apostle Paul to his spiritual protégé, Timothy. In the first letter Paul wrote to Timothy, he addressed it “To Timothy, a true son in the faith.” As I thought about Grandpa’s relationship with Arthur Calvin, this verse encapsulated Grandpa’s prayer for his nephew.

You, therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 
2 Timothy 2:9

May our strength in 2019 be in the grace of Christ Jesus. A simplistic definition of grace is “getting something we are undeserving to receive.” This is an easy-to-recall acrostic for understanding grace.

God’s
Riches
At
Christ’s
Expense

When we realize what God has done for us in His mercy (not getting the consequences we deserve as sinners) by showing us His grace, our only response must be showing grace over and over each day. Showing kindness in the middle of chaos, offering forgiveness in your heart without receiving an apology, responding with patience in adversity,  retaining a pleasant attitude when surrounded by critics and choosing to react in each situation as God's Spirit instructs us.