An Unlikely Marriage on December 13, 1900

The 120th Anniversary of Robert Thomas Black and Nettie Ann Venator Tripp Black 

        My father, Edmund Gates, Jr., often indicated his mother, Mamie Irene Tripp Gates, “wasn’t much for stories.” His father, Edmund Gates, Sr., tried to draw Grandma into his frequent family recollections. Dad said Grandma responded a bit perturbed, “Oh I don’t care anything about those old stories.”
        Just months before Grandma’s death, I visited in her home near the Arkansas River in the Big Bend, west of Ralston, Oklahoma. I gathered the courage to ask about her early life. Surprisingly, Grandma said, “I remember telling my father good-bye when I was five.” He died on October 25, 1900, just a couple of months after her fifth birthday.
        At the time, my great-grandparents, Rufus and Nettie, lived on a farm having livestock and a dependable hired hand. My Aunt Mamie Marie Gates Judkins Tice related her grandfather, Rufus, had a permit to work in Indian Territory.
        Brenda Gates, another granddaughter of Mamie Tripp Gates, gave me a letter written from Nettie to Rufus. Great-grandma Nettie dated her letter August 28, 1897. Grandma Mamie had just turned two years old. She was a sick baby according to her mother who said doses of quinine made her feel better. Every time she referred to her in the letter, she called her "your baby." Rufus listed his age as 34 when they married in 1892. Little Mamie was the first baby for them both, with Rufus in his late 30s and Nettie in her mid-20s.
        Quinine was used until late into the last century for combatting malaria. Untreated malaria can lead to renal failure. Dad’s youngest sister, Mamie Marie Gates Judkins Tice, related that Grandma said her father, Rufus, died of kidney disease. My mother found it interesting that prior to Grandma’s death, her doctor explained she only had one working kidney that had become “compromised.” The second kidney was non-functioning. How interesting to comb through an over 100-year-old letter and discover perhaps it was not a genetic predisposition to renal disease but the malaria-transmitting mosquitoes that plagued our ancestors in the hot Oklahoma summers of the 1890s!
        Suddenly, Great-grandma Nettie had lost the man she dearly loved. Her primary responsibility had been to care for little Mamie and the twins, Cora and Nora, who were age two. Cora, in her later years, described Little Nora as “always sickly.” How could Nettie go on?

Edna, Robert T., Tommy, Nettie, and Ruby Black. My father said this was taken
at the Mayse place when his Grandpa Black worked for Mrs. Mayse. For more
about the Mrs. Mayse, the grandmother of Ann and Roger Noble go to:
https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-lady-who-made-fourth-of-july.html

        

       Exactly seven weeks later, Nettie and Robert Thomas Black, the trusted hired hand, were married in Pawnee on Thursday, December 13, 1900. At her death, in her obituary published in The Fairfax Chief following her death at age 80, one highlight mentioned was the celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary less than six months prior to Bob Black’s death. 
        I observed how my grandmother loved dearly her brother, Tommy Black and her youngest sister, Edna Black. I don't recall meeting a third child, Ruby Black, born to Robert and Nettie Black.
        

Thomas Guinn Black, Mamie Irene Tripp Gates,
Lee Alice Forbus Black, Edna Jane Black. Taken
in 1961 at Tommy and Lee's home in rural
Maramec in Pawnee County, Oklahoma. Photo
provided by Brenda Gates.

        Longevity in a marriage finds its basis in commitment. My father spoke often of his Grandpa Black and intimated he shortened his life working so hard to care for Nettie in their last years. Aunt Mamie Marie described the only grandpa she ever knew as "the sweetest man," telling me she cried bitterly at his death.
        As I envisioned their simple civil ceremony with vows spoken, offering each other a lifelong pledge, even as the bride’s grief hovered in the background, a scripture came into my thoughts. The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Every marriage based and nurtured on the sacrifice of love for each other will last as Grandpa and Grandma Black’s promises did.
        God ordained marriage to illustrate His relationship with individuals who respond to His call on their lives. Just as a good marriage involves daily communication to maintain a vibrant, marital relationship so does our relationship with Jesus, the one who loved us and gave Himself for us. May we daily respond to Him in obedience with thankful hearts for His coming to sacrifice Himself for us. 

        

Additional link:

Earlier Blog Written About the Marriage of Robert and Nettie Black - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-marriage-of-robert-and-nettie-black.html