Stage Fright at Big Bend Baptist Church

         Each of my parents and maternal grandparents believed whatever one did should be done well. I must memorize my part for the Christmas program at our church. The songs needed no daily rehearsal. I sang them just for the fun of it. Daily practice of the assigned lines assured their recitation became instinctive to me.
         In 1962, we attended church within a few miles of our newly built home. The church building was located on Ball Diamond Hill or Church House Hill, as it was referred to in those days. The church was named The Big Bend Baptist Church. We usually only had morning church services each week. Jimmy Warnock, an Oklahoma Baptist University student, preached each week.
         Often in the early 1960s, Anna Marie Jefferson, Janet Nix, Mike Mitchell, Charlie Adair, and I enjoyed Sunday School class together. Older kids who attended regularly were Wayne Ray Mitchell, Jobe Adair, and Donald Wilson. When we had Vacation Bible School in the summer, the number of students tripled. (To see a photo from one summer VBS, go to the posting at: https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/05/celebrating-hundred-year-old-treasure.html )
         At home, I enjoyed reciting the lines I had been assigned. I thrived on praise, as any child does. Every time I recited “my piece” distinctly, loudly, and fluently, my grandpa would heap compliments upon me.
         Grandpa knew much more about public performances than his little six-year-old granddaughter. He knew I was gregarious and outgoing at home, but shyness overtook me around others.
         Anytime I rode into Fairfax with Grandpa, we went into my favorite store, Drake’s 5 and 10. The usual purchase Grandpa allowed me to make was a Little Golden Book, but my doting grandfather permitted me to browse through the toy aisle. I wandered up and down the southernmost aisle, engrossed in all my eyes could absorb.
        Grandpa observed my enchantment with a “pop” drinking mechanical bear. Grandpa said, “If you say your part during the Christmas program, we’ll get that bear for you.” What an incentive he had given me! He hoped the promise of this mechanical bear would be enough encouragement for the delivery of my few lines at the Christmas program.
        On the evening of the Christmas program as we drove up the hill to the church, the lights glimmered through the windows of the church that chilly December night. That was different. Usually, we arrived at the church in the sunlight of Sunday mornings. As we entered the church building, it appeared the church was packed with people.
        The program began. Our beginner class walked in orderly fashion onto the stage. Upon turning to face the crowd, I thought Every person in the Bend must be here. Stage fright crept upon me, a first grader in her custom-designed Christmas dress created by her grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith. The silvery rickrack trim on it dimmed. Suddenly, all I could see were more faces than I had ever seen in one place. It seemed everyone in the world showed up for that Christmas program! (For another blog posting about Grandma's sewing prowess, go to: https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-gift-that-forever-changed-my.html )

One of my rehearsals of the Christmas songs 
prior to the Christmas program at the Big Bend
Church. Notice the rickrack detail Grandma
used to make my Christmas dress
 "one-of-a-kind."

        Then the inevitable happened. It was time for me to “say my part.” Despite all the practicing, the promise from Grandpa, and the vision in my mind of the mechanical bear on the shelf of Drake’s 5 and 10, I could not eke out a syllable. I distinctly remember these decades later my thought. Well, there goes the bear!
        Grandpa and I never spoke about my failure to deliver during the Christmas program. Even though, he was the most doting of the four adults in our home, I did not receive the mechanical bear, but neither did I ever fail to recite parts in other plays or programs later in my life.
        Fear can paralyze us as it did me the night of the Christmas program in 1962, or it can motivate us to do greater things than we thought possible from ourselves. As this final posting before Christmas Day, I thought of central figures at the first Christmas - Mary, the mother of Jesus, Joseph, her betrothed, and the shepherds. Each were told initially by the heavenly messenger, “Do not be afraid."
        Mary could have responded, “This will destroy my reputation. It sounds like I am hiring on for a lot of trouble. No thanks.” Instead, she said in Luke 2:38 “Let it be to me according to your word.”
        Joseph probably wanted to tell the angel of the Lord, “I don’t want to get caught up in this mess. After all, I am just beginning my carpentry business.” But what did Matthew 1:24 record? “Joseph…did as the angel of the Lord commanded him…”
        Finally, the lowly shepherds could have focused on their lowly social standing and inferiority in the eyes of many instead of obeying the angel's instruction. But Luke 2:15-20 documents their eagerness to travel into Bethlehem not only to see the new little Savior but also to joyfully publicize about “this Child.”
        May we reject fear and follow the obedience of Mary, Joseph, and the shepherds in whatever area God’s Spirit is prompting us to heed Him. Let’s take every opportunity to make Jesus the purpose of this Christmas season.