Remembering Nelda

   This Wednesday, March 29 will mark seven years since Nelda Shafer's death. So many people were touched by her life, her laughter, her loving ways and her love for the Lord. May we make our own little part of the world a better place by every day carrying on her legacy                          

She Was Bigger Than Life

                I met Nelda June Shafer upon being hired to teach at Marlin Crowder Elementary in Fairfax, Oklahoma, in the fall of 1979. Nelda exuded a warmth and friendliness, but there was so much more to her.

                Soon I would learn from my mother of the time Nelda spent in the Big Bend as a child, attending Belford Grade School. Mother extolled the godly character of Nelda’s mother, Rhoda McKinney, as well as Nelda’s grandmother, Mrs. Knight.

                Nelda came to the field of education later in life than some of us. She brought a common-sense approach to education. Foundationally, she loved each student. She cared about the efforts made by each parent. Her compassion and endeavor to reach each student knew no bounds.

                Nelda loved to laugh. How often she orchestrated a practical joke, getting as many other faculty members involved as possible! It seemed her favorite targets were Woogie Adams and Burley Hathcoat. The retelling of her elaborate ruses brought as much laughter to Nelda and the rest of us as the initial incident itself had.

                Yet the strong inner part of Nelda made her who she was. In the spring of 1987, I observed this. I recall Sharon Stewart leaning over to me in the choir loft of the Ralston Baptist Church on Easter Sunday, inquiring if I had heard about Nelda’s daughter. What horror to learn she had been murdered!

                With music interwoven into every fiber of my being, the two of the musical selections chosen by Nelda for Sherri’s funeral service remain indelible in my memory. One was the upbeat song entitled “Angels All Around Me.” “The Only Real Peace That I Have” was the other song. I glimpsed Nelda’s face during the song. Since I have such a sensitive psyche, I always try to never focus on faces, especially eyes, at a funeral. That empathetic part of me tends to “weep with those that weep.” Even though I knew Nelda experienced heart-wrenching grief, she had a persona of peace as the song stated because, “the only real peace that we have, dear Lord, is in You.” *        

                Many years later, Nelda and I were required to attend a training. I don’t recall what we were learning or where we drove to learn it. I do remember Nelda was driving. She and I tended to discuss deep or serious issues often when we had a conversation.

                Somehow her Melanie emerged as the topic. I may have asked a few questions, but primarily, I just listened. Nelda told of how she was alone in Oklahoma City when the doctor told her all efforts to allay the ravaging disease wreaking devastation on Melanie’s young body had been exhausted. Nothing more could be done. Nelda had to find her way home to Fairfax. She indicated she had no idea how she drove the two hours for miles and miles. I’m sure she had God’s angels all around her.

                Many times, I have drawn strength from Nelda’s experience in life. Each difficulty she handled with serene grace, a strong faith that God could act on her behalf, and the solid trust that the God who had seen her through so many adversities and trials would see her through whatever the present one was.
                 I remember dropping by to check on her when Shafe, her husband, was gravely ill. We visited a bit and I offered to pray with her. She said, "Just pray he can live until his birthday." We clasped hands and requested that God preserve Shafe's life until his birthday. He left this earthly life two days after his 89th birthday.

                Hopefully, as we mark the seventh year since her death, we will recall and retell the hilarious stories that she so loved. (I can hear her distinct laugh as I write this.) She would like that. Most of all, she would want each of her former students, each of her relatives, every parent that she encouraged, and each person she called “friend” to be assured that their sins have been forgiven by Jesus and are living daily in the peace that reliance on Him can bring to lives leaning on Him.

                Here final message, in her own distinctive handwriting, spoke to each of us from the folio distributed at her funeral. She gave the test preparation with the directive to “take the test.” Nelda desired for her students to succeed on every exam she gave. Her last one was no different. Here is the study sheet:

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Romans 10:9-10

                Genuine belief that Jesus is Lord (the Boss, yet never bossy) and was raised from the death of crucifixion must begin at the core of our being. When we embrace Jesus as Lord of our lives, we are given His righteousness and are not ashamed to confess Him as Lord – the One in charge. If we have truly accepted Jesus as our Lord then His leadership will be reflected in our lives. How much Nelda’s life reflected this! She studied God’s Word and prayed daily, stood for right even if it was unpopular. Her compassion and generosity touched so many of our lives.

                Have you passed her final test? Its results will determine whether you ever see this dynamic woman again. Passing Mrs. Shafer's final exam will enable you to stand tall in your own deep valleys because, like her, you will have Jesus walking beside you, giving you strength and encouragement.

*I listened to "The Only Real Peace" this week. Here is a link to it being sung by the composer's daughter, Candy Hemphill - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNO9gXVy9zo