Remembering New Year's Eve Birthdays

I never mark New Year's Eve without thinking of these two precious relatives who are the subjects of today's blog posting. Remembering those who have impacted our lives fosters a thankfulness that strengthens us more than most of us realize. A grateful heart focuses us on our heavenly Father who desires to bear our burdens and direct our decisions and steps throughout 2024.

  Emma Maryann Rainey Buckley - December 31, 1903 - January 31, 1996

The youngest daughter of Rosa Jarrell Rainey and William Marion Rainey was born on December 31, 1903, at Sacred Heart, Indian Territory. My maternal grandmother, Gladys Vivian Rainey Smith, at age three, welcomed her into the family. They named the New Year’s Eve baby Emma Maryann.  Her father selected her middle name after his own mother, Mary.

According to my grandma, Aunt Emma quickly became a favorite of her father. Grandmother related how Aunt Emma, as a sick little one, needed to take medicine. Her father, in his effort to entice Emma to take her medicine, illustrated how easy it was to swallow and ended up taking her medicine himself! That suited little Emma just fine.

As an older sister, my grandmother and AIice, another sister, thrived on teasing Aunt Emma. Aunt Emma always had many suitors. Alice and my grandmother teased her when they attended Woodland School in the Bend and Emma received a love note. The boy who didn't excel in spelling or handwriting wrote a note to Emma referring to her as his “Humey” instead of "Honey." Even in her 70s, this same man enjoyed meeting her and visiting about days long gone as well as his agri-business.

Aunt Emma formed strong friendships when she stayed with the McInroy family in Fairfax to attend high school. She found employment at Big Hill Trading Company. While there she met and married Bill Buckley in 1929. More about their relationship can be read at the blog post link: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-theater-manager-who-married-rainey.html .

The death of her beloved husband forced my great-aunt to begin carving a new path for herself. Following her recovery from an emotional collapse, she and her niece, Hazel Rice Goad Guthrie, enrolled in Hills Business College in Oklahoma City. Coincidentally, my paternal aunt, Ella Gates Bledsoe, was studying at the same time at the same college.

Upon completing her coursework, she accepted a job with the United States Government Printing Office in Washington, D.C. Her new employment adventure propelled her into an entirely new venue and atmosphere. She attended worship services at the National Cathedral. Aunt Emma, with her newfound friends, toured each historical site in their leisure time. The couple of decades in social circles in the nation’s capital afforded her opportunities to enjoy the festivities of presidential inaugural balls as well as the historic performance of Marion Anderson, the world-renowned contralto, in Constitution Hall.

Upon Aunt Emma’s move back East, she began buying the farm on which her mother, Rosa Jarrell Rainey lived. Her mother (my great-grandmother) died in 1953, and soon Aunt Emma retired to begin farming with her brother, Eugene Robert Rainey. After his death in 1961, she lived the remainder of her life by herself on the farm.

Aunt Emma transitioned from an urban lifestyle with a full social calendar to raising chickens, planting a garden, and canning the garden produce she harvested. Her nephew, Virgil Rice, farmed her tillable ground for her. As she aged, he checked faithfully on her daily.

Aunt Emma was generous with her time and money. She gave of herself to help her sister-in-law, Pearl Rainey, care for her older brother, Lewis, the last few months of his life. She spent many nights with her oldest sister, Daisy Rainey Rice. Calvin and Gladys Smith, my grandparents, enjoyed shopping outings with her to Ponca City on a regular basis.

My love of music prompted Aunt Emma to underwrite my first piano lessons. She always expected a mini concert from my sister, Angie, and me when she was at our house. She and my mother fostered my love of classical music.

Aunt Emma with me in February of 1957. I always admired her keen
  business savvy and understated sense of style and have tried to emulate it.

In her later years, many times I traveled the short distance to her house from my parents’ farm or stopped by after school on Friday. We discussed current affairs, family news, fashion trends, our personal Bible study, and family stories from the past. That strong relationship led me to what no one else had the courage to do - return a photograph.

Bill Buckley’s World War I photograph retained a prominent place in our home all during my early days. My inquisitive nature caused me to inquire why we had his photo in our home and Aunt Emma had no pictures of him in sight at all. A brief explanation of her difficulty with his death was told to me. I knew names of men smitten with her were bantered about for many years.  An engineer who remained a bachelor until his death was discovered in my research! A banker, a train conductor, and a successful farmer were just a few who were quite taken with her, but with each one, she countered with a respectful, polite response that indicated no interest on her part. 

Prior to my grandma’s death, when cleaning, I proposed a novel idea – give Bill Buckley’s photo back to Aunt Emma. Initially, every family member supported me from afar in that effort to return the heretofore unwanted portrait. To everyone’s astonishment, Aunt Emma accepted and displayed prominently the photograph she rejected over sixty years earlier. Evidently, this sophisticated lady with a brilliant business mind had come to accept her dear Bill’s death and embraced their brief marriage as a relationship that could never be matched even though she lived into her 90s. Years of heartache and loss had finally been replaced with fond memories of the love they shared.

   Her nephew, Virgil Rice, who loving watched over Aunt Emma had these words etched on her tombstone, She graced her family with acts of loving kindness. May those who loved and admired her carry on her legacy with loving kindness for others as she did.

Elizabeth Purcell Hammer - December 31, 1913 - July 17, 2016

Around twenty years ago, I discovered a relative that I had heard about but had never met. At the time, I was trying to find a member of my maternal grandfather’s family because of a portrait. Gladys Vivian Rainey Smith had married my grandfather, Calvin Callcayah Smith after his father’s death, but she always told me a portrait of him hung in the Smith home in Hickory Grove, Oklahoma. I didn’t locate the portrait of Walter Smith, however, my search led me to Elizabeth Purcell Hammer. How she enriched my life!             Elizabeth was born to my grandfather’s older sister, Rachel and her husband, Arthur Purcell on December 31, 1913. Like my mother, she is one-quarter Cherokee. Elizabeth is one of the three Purcell girls. Ferrall and Fern were her sisters. Elizabeth attended school at the historically significant -at least to the Smith family - Hickory Grove School in Delaware County. My grandfather and his siblings attended school there. Grandpa’s parents and other relatives were buried in the Hickory Grove Cemetery near the school (For more information about the Smith family’s influence in the Hickory Grove Cemetery see the final photograph in the blog posting entitled Typhoid! that posted on October 19, 2014. - https://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/10/typhoid.html).             Elizabeth grew up on a farm that raised hogs, cattle, and chickens. Those days were hard, battling the drought, the Dust Bowl, along with couple of years of infestation by armyworms and grasshoppers. The adversity of her formative years built the tenacity and determination that has served Elizabeth well over these many years.             She graduated from Chouteau High School and began her study at Northeastern State College. When she had completed approximately two years of collegiate study, Elizabeth began teaching at her first school. She taught 60 students ranging from first through eighth grades. Her entry salary was $60/month. She later earned her degree from NSU with postgraduate hours from OSU. Elizabeth Hammer at age 90. Her excellence as an educator and her polished persona still inspire me .             Elizabeth also served as an elementary principal at numerous locations in eastern Oklahoma. She retired in 1977, after teaching science and math to junior high students for 15 years in Claremore with innumerable accolades coupled with the admiration and respect of a myriad of students from all over the eastern half of the state.             She was married to the love of her life, Ellsworth Hammer, for over 60 years until his death in 2000. Since her father and husband were in the agriculture business, she advised me in her 2013 Christmas card, “Please don’t try to be a full-fledge farmer. It’ll take up too much time and energy.” Truer words were never spoken.             Elizabeth served in various capacities in civic, educational, community, and service organizations in Pryor, her home of almost 80 years, as well as Mayse County. Her larger-than-life persona pervaded the area so that her son told her upon her 100th birthday that perhaps she should relinquish the keys to her car since everyone in Pryor knew her age!             In one of our last telephone conversations, I told her about a family photo that I had found in my grandma’s album. Elizabeth did not have a copy of it. I told her within the month I would get a copy sent to her. This dear relative who had written pages of family history for me and had visited with me about a great-grandfather I had never seen, said to me, “Now don’t you be concerned about getting that to me. You have enough to do already caring for your father.” Her compassionate comments filled with sensitivity serve as an encouragement when weariness crept into my being.             Since Grandma told me about the portrait of Walter Smith, my mission to lay my eyes on it drove me in search of as many Smith relatives as I could possibly locate. Being unable to find the portrait was a blessing since it led me to contact Elizabeth, the treasure trove of Smith family history - an accomplished relative with a loving, caring heart. What a family jewel and a dear blessing to me!