The Bittersweet Shared Birthday

The Connection Between an Aunt and a Niece

                On August 11, 1900, my grandmother, Gladys Vivian Rainey, was born in Shawnee in Oklahoma Territory. At that time, Shawnee was only a fledgling city. Grandma was born in a tent. Her father was helping build the railroad in what is now Pottawatomie County in Oklahoma.
               Grandma was a spunky, dare devil with hazel eyes and auburn hair. So many of the stories I have heard about her involve action and adventure. (See the blog post of June 8, entitled The Staycation That Went Horribly Wrong.)
               My grandmother moved to the Big Bend community in her preteen years away from civilization and the possibility of any cultural opportunities including piano lessons. She had such musical talent and drive to learn to play. After working all day in the hot field, a tired, but determined girl would come into the house, and somehow she figured out the musical staff and the names of the lines and spaces. She taught herself to read music without one lesson and could play the family’s pump organ!
               Yet on Grandma’s 31^st birthday, she experienced her first devastating good-bye. Her beloved father, William Marion Rainey had died only the day before on August 10, of Bright’s disease, the term used in the early 20^th century for many kidney ailments. He was just 63 years old. Grandma had been married eight years and was the mother to a six-year-old, my mother. She was in the prime of her life. Yet she found herself on her birthday standing at an open grave in Pixley Cemetery on a hill overlooking the Arkansas River in the Big Bend community. Her life suddenly became so serious and somber. In the midst of her sorrow, within a month of her father's death, in September of that same year, she decided to change the direction of her life and become a follower of Jesus Christ. Her parents had made the decision to follow Jesus in July of 1896, when they lived in Terral, Indian Territory. Terral is located one mile north of the Red River.
              On the very day of the funeral service, her younger brother Eugene Robert and wife Raucie had their first baby, Billie Jean Rainey. My mother was so enamored with this new, little cousin. My mother, Bernyce Smith Gates, recalls positioning herself in a rocking chair and having an adult carefully place little Billie Jean in her lap. Mother, even though she was only six years old, never tired of holding and rocking her and only relinquished the baby when an adult came and retrieved Baby Billie Jean. This pretty, new baby helped a little girl deal with the sorrow that surrounded her following her grandpa’s death.

Marilyn and Billie Jean Rainey with their
rabbit and kitten. Marilyn is Billie Jean's
younger sister.

           Billie Jean remained in the Bend following her mother’s death in 1943, until her teen years when she moved to Washington, D.C. to live with her aunt, Emma Rainey Buckley. Emma was the youngest sister of her father and my grandmother. Billie graduated from high school in Washington, D. C. She earned a degree in architecture and worked as an architect for the City of Anchorage, Alaska, until her retirement.

Billie Jean Rainey and Emma
Rainey Buckley in Washington, D.C.
Aunt Emma provided a plethora of cultural
opportunities for Billie Jean while she
lived in the nation's capital.

Portrait of Billie Jean Rainey
Morton made during her days in
Washington, D.C.

           Billie Jean was a kind, gentle soul with a generous and grateful heart. I can recall many times when Aunt Emma called excited about a huge box she had received from Billie Jean. Each weekend until Aunt Emma’s death, Billie Jean placed a lengthy call to Aunt Emma, much to Aunt Emma’s delight.

            Grandmother and Billie Jean always retained a closeness. In fact, I heard Billie Jean say her husband dreaded for her to come back to Oklahoma because she became engulfed in sadness when she had to fly back home to Anchorage.  

This photograph of my grandparents and Billie Jean
 and her husband, Jim was taken the last time she
visited my grandparents in the Big Bend.

            After Grandmother’s death in 1983, each August I selected carefully a special birthday card for Billie Jean. Even though the first part of August was always such a busy time for me as a teacher, I would carve out an evening to leisurely write a newsy letter to enclose in her birthday card. It was a relaxing time I looked forward to each August.

            Both Grandma and Billie Jean were wickedly smart and excellent writers. Grandma was feisty and Billie Jean reserved. Grandma had eyes that twinkled with mischief. Billie’s eyes were large pools of placidity. Yet their special birthday bond held them close to each other, and those of us who knew them, loved them dearly and miss them greatly.