When We Love, We Will Sorrow

        This blog post was not the one I intended for this last Sunday in November of 2016. But as Mother and I visited upon my return from little Aspen Kay's funeral, she felt this was what I needed to post. When I expressed a little doubt about being able to construct a viable posting, in her own distinctive way that her 92 years has honed, she confidently said, "You can do it!"

        As my father would say, my mother "buried" her oldest cousin on her mother's side, Hazel Marie Rice Goad Guthrie last week on November 19th. Hazel was 102 years old. All of Mother's life she had known Hazel. Mother stayed with Hazel to help with housekeeping and cooking just weeks before the birth of her older son, George Ed, in July of 1945.

        George Ed's father, George Goad, liked Mom's biscuits. She made them from scratch- the old fashioned way. My grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, taught her to make "a nest" in an "enormous" amount of flour in a large bowl. She put milk, baking powder,shortening, and salt in the nest in the flour. Then she began working, kneading the dough, carefully "pulling in" with her hands the exact amount of flour. Even though she was wasn't quite 20 yet, she had been creating biscuits that way for about a dozen years. Mother began baking biscuits this way at age 7! (Mother isn't sure she was that young, but Ruby Martin Rice said she was. Ruby was always truthful.)
        Mother dearly loved Hazel and had admired how she lived life without a complaint. They shared laughs together for so many years. Each of them were bonded by their strong faith in Jesus.  According to Grandma's little record of her family's conversions (salvations), next to Hazel's name, I found "Enid, 1935." To learn more about Hazel, see a tribute blog posting at:
http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/05/celebrating-hundred-year-old-treasure.html
         Hazel's older daughter, Rosemary Goad Dilbeck, related that the day before Hazel's passing, Hazel visited with her father, Ernest Rice, who died in 1948. It appeared she was hovering in our "Shadowland" world  yet yearning for her heavenly home. To read about his life and conversion, access the blog post at:  http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/03/his-last-easter-on-earth.html
         Mother and I had been praying faithfully for one of her younger great-great nieces since the little one was given a troubling diagnosis earlier in the year. Then we received notice to pray since this tiny one had been moved to the ICU. What a shock later that same evening to learn of little Aspen Kay's death! She was just days shy of her second birthday. Her exuberance even amidst her treatments inspired so many.

         As human beings, if we love and live very long, we will feel sorrow.  My father would utter the quote, The young may die and the old must die. This sad truth seemed so vivid in my mother's thoughts the last few days. What a stark contrast that death touched our family with a grand lady dying at 102 and then a sweet, little toddler passing from this life before she reached the age of two! Yet no matter the age of our loved one, we are never prepared for death - for the parting that it demands.
       Death came into the world following the disobedience of Adam and Eve. As I have blogged in previous postings, Death is our enemy. The Bible says in I Corinthians 15;26 "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."
         How is that accomplished? Isaiah 25:8, the Old Testament Scripture, read by Tamra Renfro Bowman at the funeral of precious Aspen Kay, stated "He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces;" Paul answered further, by the inspiration of the Spirit of God Himself, "Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
          As I prepared to leave for the funeral of little Aspen Kay Gates, I reached for a pair of black leather gloves since I get cold easily. This would be the first time I had worn the gloves. They were a perfect fit. I had been lovingly given them by Alan Yarborough, the grandson of my mother's older cousin, Elizabeth Purcell Hammer. Elizabeth, the only remaining cousin on my mother's father's side, died on July 17 of this year. To learn more about Elizabeth and her accomplishments, access this tribute blog at: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/12/a-cherished-new-years-eve-centenarian.html

          Elizabeth and I shared the profession of education and a love of family history. I hope I can fill her gloves with helpful, loving hands and a heart full of faith. My heart filled with comfort from these phrases from the hymns chosen for the service celebrating her 102 years.

Because He lives we can face tomorrow.

from Because He Lives - Bill and Gloria Gaither. 1971.

The vilest offender who truly believes, That moment from Jesus a pardon receives...

O come to the Father, thro' Jesus the Son, And give Him the glory, great things He hath done.

from To God Be the Glory - Public Domain

When we all get to heaven, What a day of rejoicing that will be!

When we all see Jesus, We'll sing and shout the victory. -from When We All Get to Heaven - Public Domain

          As our families grieve, weep, and miss the presence of Hazel, Aspen, and Elizabeth, may we hold our loved ones here on earth a little closer. Expressing our love in words and actions, being sure to articulate frequently how those we cherish have touched our very hearts, will enable us to live with few regrets. May our prayers be filled with the names of those we love and treasure. Let's keep loving each other, knowing our intense love will lead to heart-wrenching sorrow. But the choice to insulate ourselves from love causes an even deeper pain, disabling us to even live life. 

         Finally, it becomes imperative for me to remind my many family members and friends the utmost importance for all of us to be sure we are trusting in Jesus alone - not in our perceived goodness - but in Him only. Just hours before His betrayal and false arrest that led to His sacrificial death, His followers asked how they could know the way to where He was going. He had mentioned His Father's house where there are many mansions. He left us no doubt when He answered with these clear-cut words,

   

I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me.

John 14:6

Each of the photographs were taken from the remembrance folios prepared by the funeral homes that handled each of our loved ones' services. The services for Hazel and Aspen were conducted by Hunsaker-Wooten Funeral Home of Fairfax, Oklahoma. Shipman's Funeral and Cremation Service of Pryor, Oklahoma, handled the service for Elizabeth. 

Additional Notes: Aspen was the sixth descendant from Edmund, Sr. and Mamie Tripp Gates who was under the age of 14 and buried at Pixley Cemetery. The others were as follows- 
Robert Bernard Gates- age 2 - http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/09/robert-bernard-gates.html
Fredrick Daniel Gates - killed by a lightning strike on his fourteenth birthday
John Francis Gates - less than a year old -  http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-75th-birthday-of-John-francis-gates.html
Vickie Marie Gates - age 13 - http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.blogspot.com/2015/06/singing-on-grandpas-birthday.html
Jordan Gates Zebelman- died at birth-  http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=28880393

Give Us This Day Our Daily Tomato

Give Us This Day Our Daily Tomato

                I descend from farmers and gardeners on almost all branches of my family tree even my Cherokee branch. Elizabeth Purcell Hammer, my mother’s last cousin on the Smith side, the source of Cherokee ancestry, died at the age of 102 during the month of June this year. Elizabeth told me of her grandparents (my great-grandparents), Julia Steely Smith and Walter Smith, having an orchard. The Smith Orchards were located on the land in Delaware County that my great-grandpa, Walter, had received in the allotment of the Cherokee lands in the early 1900s. The orchards grown and tended by my great-grandfather and his children held a special place in Elizabeth’s memory. Her mother, Rachel, was just three years older than my grandfather, Calvin Callcayah. The Smith Orchards marked the spot where Rachel first met Arthur Purcell, Elizabeth’s father.

My grandparents, Gladys Rainey Smith and Calvin Callcayah Smith, planted massive gardens. Grandpa emphasized his sweet corn, watermelons, and cantaloupes. Ironically, Grandma’s sensitive stomach limited what she could eat, but she planted and cultivated tenaciously, trying to maximize the garden’s productivity. She supervised the application on the garden soil of the chicken manure annually cleaned out from underneath the chicken roosts in the hen houses. Realizing that goes against all safety advice given to the 21^st century gardener, both grandparents and my father lived into their 80s and 90s respectively!

Grandpa Edmund Gates, Sr., a farmer until his death, may have helped Grandma Mamie Tripp Gates some in the garden, but in my recollection, she worked and harvested the garden herself. My father used his tiller to work up initially her garden spot in her latter years. Grandma loved to plant more unusual offerings (at least for me) such as Jerusalem artichokes, rutabagas, parsnips, and rhubarb. I can remember my grandmothers’ delight when the two of them visited about their gardening endeavors.

One of the neatest memories centered on Grandma Gates’ cherry tree north of her house. Angie, my sister, and I loaded up in the old, black Dodge pickup with Grandpa and Grandma Smith at the invitation from Grandma Gates to come pick cherries. That summer followed my first year in college. Maybe I was able finally to see the value of the work, but it was fun to fill bucket after bucket with the vibrantly red cherries. I even enjoyed helping Grandma Smith, Mother, and Angie pit the cherries. Probably much of the pleasure derived from doing work with those most important to me. This is one of the hidden blessings God gave to our cooperative family as we labored together to accomplish a common goal.

What outstanding gardens were grown by Lewis and Pearl Bierman Rainey, my great-uncle and aunt! As with my grandmothers, their garden was always free of weeds. Not even one blade of grass could be found in the perfectly tilled soil surrounding healthy, productive plants.

Of course, Great-Aunt Emma Rainey Buckley began gardening in the Bend upon her retirement and move from Washington, D.C. She frequently sought advice from my grandma, Gladys. Like her sister and sister-in-law, she canned or froze any excess produce that she gathered after having shared with relatives and neighbors.

Then there was Aunt Daisy Rainey Rice. I never remember her having a garden. She suffered with arthritis that limited her walking and movement. But her name came up last year and again this year when I tilled up, with my hoe, the two back beds where Grandma Gladys had planted flowers such as petunias, day lilies, and phlox with resurrection lilies planted as a border. Mother said Aunt Daisy planted tomatoes in her flower beds.

               Somewhat late in the season, I purchased tomatoes plants upon the recommendations of Sandye Goad and Barney Moore at the Fairfax Feed Store. I planted them on each side of the cellar, keeping them reasonably grass-free.  I tried not to disturb the resurrection lilies so some grass lingered at the beds’ borders. Mother reminded me that Aunt Daisy grew abundantly productive tomatoes in the grassy beds at her house! In fact, Mother recalled a summer when Aunt Daisy had better tomatoes than her other green-thumbed siblings  - much to their surprise! 
              Aunt Daisy and Uncle Ernest Rice lived in the house near the river with the massive porch. (My earliest memory of the place was playing with Rick Rice when he and his parents, Virgil and Helen Faust Rice lived there.) Aunt Daisy's flower bed tomatoes were never pruned or suckers pinched off, much to the chagrin of her garden guru family members. Yet her bushy tomatoes vines flourished in the grass producing tasty tomatoes.

Some of my tomato plants with a couple of cats visible, too.

               2016 is the most successful tomato harvest I have had. Mother and I have averaged a tomato a day for our lunch meal! Now I realize compared to my father’s tomato crops, this season has been a major failure, but “comparisons are odious.”
               Mother and I have had tomatoes for many summer meals. How illustrative of the way God furnishes what we need for each day! Sometimes we crave an abundance - whether it is money, fame, success, or 1,001 other things that humans can desire. However, God promises to provide our needs. When we focus on how He has met our needs, we become generous with others as we see their needs. The realization that our blessings come from our heavenly Father leads to grateful hearts willing to share.

               As Mother has laughed heartily about Aunt Daisy’s successful tomato crop in the grass, I am reminded that God can bring productiveness in the oddest places. Without exception, the person who reaches goals will meet with setbacks, hardships, and seldom achieve in the way envisioned it would be. If we wait for the perfect setting for success, it will not happen. So follow Aunt Daisy and plant your tomatoes in the grass! Then pray for eyes to see each of His blessings and give heartfelt thanks to the God who richly provides our needs and so many of our wants.

An example of our daily fare of tomatoes this summer.

I Can't Pinpoint Its Origin

Reason the marigold is a choice of gardeners.

                In July, a tiny plant emerged as if growing out of the east side of the cellar. Even with my limited knowledge of ornamental flowers, I could tell that it belonged to the marigold family. Since marigolds are a natural repellent to some pesky garden insects, I had planted the seeds of several marigold varieties near our tomato plants last year.

                But this little plant baffled me. I had never planted seeds on that side of the cellar. Somehow seeds had gotten to that spot. Grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, grew ornamental flowers and bushes with a prolific flare, but I only remember marigolds in her garden, not in the backyard beds.
                Marigolds seemed to be a floral species more to my father’s liking. Dad liked growing things that could be eaten or shared. He planted zinnias annually in the middle row of his garden.  Maybe he had low-maintenance marigolds in those beds.

The prolific little plant!

                Around early October, the mysterious plant exploded with beautiful rust-red blooms. Its vibrant color confirmed that it couldn’t have been planted by me or reseeded from the marigolds I planted since I had only planted yellowish, gold marigold seeds. Truth be told – the marigold seed packets were on sale for 4 packets for $1.00. When I planted those seed packets near the tomato plants in 2015, they bloomed out in yellowish shades from pale, lemony hues to rich, deep golden colors. These autumnal tinted posies must have originated from marigolds planted several years ago by my father or grandmother.

What gorgeous contrasting fall colors!

                As I tilled around this “volunteer” plant with my hoe, I reflected. The plant had sprung from seed that had been reseeded by someone, either Dad or Grandma but had remained dormant for these many years. Yet with no nurturing, tilling, watering, clearing of dead grass or pulling the new weed growth, the seed laid latent in the fallow soil at the edge of the flower bed, almost crowded out of existence by the concrete of the cellar.

               In early 2016, I attacked the uncultivated beds, determined to plant tomato plants in both beds flanking the old cellar door. The undisturbed soil in the east bed was stirred for the first time in around six years.

                My reflection turned from plants to people. I thought how many seeds of God’s Word with its guaranteed principles for successful living have been planted over the years in hearts of people – children, teenagers, and adults. Sadly, almost daily, I witness heartache, sorrow, despair, loneliness, hopelessness, disappointment, and confusion in the lives of many I encounter. Do we understand how important it is to “till the soil” of these hurting lives to enable the seeds of the Word of God to take root and flourish in lives? Are we watering with the living Word of God the seedbed in these precious souls we meet? The scriptural truths shared prayerfully with those who are struggling with life’s ups and downs also can be used by the spirit of God to prune unfruitful areas and lead to a new level of productivity in the Lord.

                What an important mission in the lives of those of us who love Him with all our hearts! As we go through our days, may God open our eyes of awareness, stir our hearts with compassion, and move our mouths and feet to share and express the Biblical truths pertinent to those we meet. The following verses can serve as a springboard for us.

Our own preparation –  Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)

Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; (I Peter 3:15)

Comfort for the Sorrowing, Heartbroken - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)
This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your word has given me life. (Psalm 119:50)

Despair - …We were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead…  (2 Corinthians 1:8)

Disappointment- Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given us. (Romans 5:5)

Distress- I called on the Lord in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? (Psalm 118:5-6)

Loneliness-Hear my prayer, O Lord, And let my cry come to You. Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble; Incline Your ear to me; In that day that I call, answer me speedily….I am like a pelican of the wilderness; I am like an owl of the desert. I lie awake, And am like a sparrow alone on the housetop. (Psalm 1-2, 6-7)

Need for Deliverance – Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, Bound in affliction and irons – Because they rebelled against the words of God, And despised the counsel of the Most High, Therefore He brought down their heart with labor; They fell down, and there was none to help. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, And He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, And broke their chains to pieces. (Psalm 107: 10-14)

Such a testimony to God's handiwork!

                A prayer on a committed believer’s lips might be: Lord, as I spend time with You in Your Holy Word and prayer, prepare me to be an extension of Your love, truth, mercy, and grace. Give me confidence to share Your message with compassionate sensitivity to a hurting individual. May Your Spirit open the person’s heart to Your Words.

                Some may recall, in earlier days, "seeds" planted by older family members, loving church teachers, or caring neighbors. The effects of nurturing deeds and godly advice buried deep in one’s heart can be “tilled” to resurface and strengthen a weary, needy person.

                May the sturdy, hearty, and beautiful marigold plant, with its surprising emersion this season, serve as inspiration for each of us. God can be trusted to move in our hearts to direct us to the scripture that we need to live our lives in accordance with actions that will most honor Him.

Even in a poor location, this hearty little plant flourshed!

Honoring Veterans at Woodland Elementary School in 2001

Veterans Day 2001

Bobby Simma, with Dayna Simma looking on,
 introduced Nelda Shafer with her guest, Ernest Hood,
 a WWII veteran.

      In the fall of 2001, the cleanup at the World Towers continued, the stock market had plummeted, and the United States reeled from the horrid day exactly two months earlier. Our principal, Bobby Simma, with his faculty, decided to use 2001 Veterans Day to honor living veterans, first responders in the 2001 attack devastation, deceased veterans, and of course, the soldiers serving the country at that time. The celebration occurred on November 12, 2001, according to the photographs’ notations.

Nelda Shafer led her fourth grade class in a recitation to the honored veterans. Notice
the patriotic neckerchiefs worn proudly by these 4th graders.

             Claude Shafer, the husband of Mrs. Shafer was introduced by their older grandson, Jim Ed Mashburn. Mr. Shafer was accompanied by his twin brother, Clyde Shafer, who had also served in World War II. Jim Ed's grandpa praised Fairfax High School for the education he received - particularly being taught to type. He credited his typing skills acquired at FHS for keeping him out of the trenches in the Pacific Theater.

Mr. Simma, Claude Shafer, Jim Ed Mashburn, and
Clyde Shafer during the Veterans Day assembly on
 November 12, 2001, at the Woodland Elementary
School.  

Dawn Anson, Edmund Gates, Jr., Ethan Anson,
with Kelsie Anson in front.

       As soon as Ethan Anson heard about the upcoming Veterans Day commemoration, he thought of his neighbor and relative, Edmund Gates, Jr. His mother, Dawn, arranged for him to interview his hero. He thought it was pretty cool that he was interviewing his third grade teacher's father!

        Students prepared songs and recitations for weeks to perform for the honored veterans and parents in attendance. The powerful words, time-tested melodies, and rousing rhythms etched a lifelong impact on those elementary students' hearts.

First and Second Graders Sang with heartfelt enthusiasm.

        Art projects lined the hallways of the elementary building. Children had endeavored to do their best work to honor the men and women who had risk their lives to preserve freedom for our nation.

  Third Graders' poetry and songs performance displayed the results of their hard work.

         Little did the students realize that these moments of remembering and recognizing the immense sacrifice of those who had come before them would remain in their memories and impact the values they carried into adulthood.

Fourth Graders sang by memory rousing patriotic songs.

        Many of the students interviewed family members who had served our country. Then each student created a presentation with the facts of their loved ones accompanied by interesting photographs. These were hung in the hallway in an area designated Veterans Wall of Honor and Remembrance.

       My father enjoyed interacting with people. Sharing his military account with kids served a dual purpose. Enlightening the young students to the history of World War II as he had "lived it" was the best way to 

My father, Edmund Gates, Jr. and Ethan
Anson, who was not only a third grade
student, but also he and I both share the
 same ancestors -  Rosa and William Rainey.

teach them of the past. I think he

   

Veterans Wall of Honor and Remembrance

realized sharing his experience with others served as a positive therapeutic exercise that helped him. The highlight of  that 2001 Veterans Day observance culminated with his visiting the third graders in our classroom.

Kelsie and Ethan Anson, Ashley Fosnight,
my father, Rebecca Ellis, Cody VanDusen,
and Jim Ed Mashburn. Dad was impressed
with how carefully they attended to the
 details about his time in England.   

Cody VanDusen and Mason Parker listened, 
absorbing the details as Dad explained
 about his B-17 bombing crew photograph.

Be sure to express your gratitude to veterans this Veterans Day. Ask these worthy veterans where and how they served. Then thank them again.