When We Love, We Will Sorrow

        This blog post was not the one I intended for this last Sunday in November of 2016. But as Mother and I visited upon my return from little Aspen Kay's funeral, she felt this was what I needed to post. When I expressed a little doubt about being able to construct a viable posting, in her own distinctive way that her 92 years has honed, she confidently said, "You can do it!"

        As my father would say, my mother "buried" her oldest cousin on her mother's side, Hazel Marie Rice Goad Guthrie last week on November 19th. Hazel was 102 years old. All of Mother's life she had known Hazel. Mother stayed with Hazel to help with housekeeping and cooking just weeks before the birth of her older son, George Ed, in July of 1945.

        George Ed's father, George Goad, liked Mom's biscuits. She made them from scratch- the old fashioned way. My grandma, Gladys Rainey Smith, taught her to make "a nest" in an "enormous" amount of flour in a large bowl. She put milk, baking powder,shortening, and salt in the nest in the flour. Then she began working, kneading the dough, carefully "pulling in" with her hands the exact amount of flour. Even though she was wasn't quite 20 yet, she had been creating biscuits that way for about a dozen years. Mother began baking biscuits this way at age 7! (Mother isn't sure she was that young, but Ruby Martin Rice said she was. Ruby was always truthful.)
        Mother dearly loved Hazel and had admired how she lived life without a complaint. They shared laughs together for so many years. Each of them were bonded by their strong faith in Jesus.  According to Grandma's little record of her family's conversions (salvations), next to Hazel's name, I found "Enid, 1935." To learn more about Hazel, see a tribute blog posting at:
http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/05/celebrating-hundred-year-old-treasure.html
         Hazel's older daughter, Rosemary Goad Dilbeck, related that the day before Hazel's passing, Hazel visited with her father, Ernest Rice, who died in 1948. It appeared she was hovering in our "Shadowland" world  yet yearning for her heavenly home. To read about his life and conversion, access the blog post at:  http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/03/his-last-easter-on-earth.html
         Mother and I had been praying faithfully for one of her younger great-great nieces since the little one was given a troubling diagnosis earlier in the year. Then we received notice to pray since this tiny one had been moved to the ICU. What a shock later that same evening to learn of little Aspen Kay's death! She was just days shy of her second birthday. Her exuberance even amidst her treatments inspired so many.

         As human beings, if we love and live very long, we will feel sorrow.  My father would utter the quote, The young may die and the old must die. This sad truth seemed so vivid in my mother's thoughts the last few days. What a stark contrast that death touched our family with a grand lady dying at 102 and then a sweet, little toddler passing from this life before she reached the age of two! Yet no matter the age of our loved one, we are never prepared for death - for the parting that it demands.
       Death came into the world following the disobedience of Adam and Eve. As I have blogged in previous postings, Death is our enemy. The Bible says in I Corinthians 15;26 "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."
         How is that accomplished? Isaiah 25:8, the Old Testament Scripture, read by Tamra Renfro Bowman at the funeral of precious Aspen Kay, stated "He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces;" Paul answered further, by the inspiration of the Spirit of God Himself, "Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
          As I prepared to leave for the funeral of little Aspen Kay Gates, I reached for a pair of black leather gloves since I get cold easily. This would be the first time I had worn the gloves. They were a perfect fit. I had been lovingly given them by Alan Yarborough, the grandson of my mother's older cousin, Elizabeth Purcell Hammer. Elizabeth, the only remaining cousin on my mother's father's side, died on July 17 of this year. To learn more about Elizabeth and her accomplishments, access this tribute blog at: http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/12/a-cherished-new-years-eve-centenarian.html

          Elizabeth and I shared the profession of education and a love of family history. I hope I can fill her gloves with helpful, loving hands and a heart full of faith. My heart filled with comfort from these phrases from the hymns chosen for the service celebrating her 102 years.

Because He lives we can face tomorrow.

from Because He Lives - Bill and Gloria Gaither. 1971.

The vilest offender who truly believes, That moment from Jesus a pardon receives...

O come to the Father, thro' Jesus the Son, And give Him the glory, great things He hath done.

from To God Be the Glory - Public Domain

When we all get to heaven, What a day of rejoicing that will be!

When we all see Jesus, We'll sing and shout the victory. -from When We All Get to Heaven - Public Domain

          As our families grieve, weep, and miss the presence of Hazel, Aspen, and Elizabeth, may we hold our loved ones here on earth a little closer. Expressing our love in words and actions, being sure to articulate frequently how those we cherish have touched our very hearts, will enable us to live with few regrets. May our prayers be filled with the names of those we love and treasure. Let's keep loving each other, knowing our intense love will lead to heart-wrenching sorrow. But the choice to insulate ourselves from love causes an even deeper pain, disabling us to even live life. 

         Finally, it becomes imperative for me to remind my many family members and friends the utmost importance for all of us to be sure we are trusting in Jesus alone - not in our perceived goodness - but in Him only. Just hours before His betrayal and false arrest that led to His sacrificial death, His followers asked how they could know the way to where He was going. He had mentioned His Father's house where there are many mansions. He left us no doubt when He answered with these clear-cut words,

   

I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me.

John 14:6

Each of the photographs were taken from the remembrance folios prepared by the funeral homes that handled each of our loved ones' services. The services for Hazel and Aspen were conducted by Hunsaker-Wooten Funeral Home of Fairfax, Oklahoma. Shipman's Funeral and Cremation Service of Pryor, Oklahoma, handled the service for Elizabeth. 

Additional Notes: Aspen was the sixth descendant from Edmund, Sr. and Mamie Tripp Gates who was under the age of 14 and buried at Pixley Cemetery. The others were as follows- 
Robert Bernard Gates- age 2 - http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2014/09/robert-bernard-gates.html
Fredrick Daniel Gates - killed by a lightning strike on his fourteenth birthday
John Francis Gates - less than a year old -  http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-75th-birthday-of-John-francis-gates.html
Vickie Marie Gates - age 13 - http://bernadeanjgates.blogspot.blogspot.com/2015/06/singing-on-grandpas-birthday.html
Jordan Gates Zebelman- died at birth-  http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=28880393