As Angie's birthday approached, I recalled one of Dad's sayings about Mother. He would say, "I give her the roses now." He meant that he expressed daily how much Mother meant to him with his words of thankfulness and praise. Angie and Ben, my sister and brother-in-law, are so instrumental in Mother and me staying on the farm. One of the greatest gifts we can give one another is true appreciation and thankfulness for specific ways our loved ones make our lives meaningful.
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This
week is my sister’s birthday. I recall the morning my maternal grandma awakened
me with the news, “You have a new baby sister!” How glad and relieved I was!
The
relief stemmed from many times over past few months when I was with Dad.
Invariably, someone would say, “Edmund, I hear you’re gonna get your boy.” My
little five-year old heart would sink. I did not want a brother, but it seemed
almost everyone thought Dad needed a boy.
Angie wasn’t perfect, but I could tell by comments made, she was an easier baby to handle – slept better, cried less, and was much calmer than I had been. Even I could compare and know that most of those observances were correct.
Angie entered a phase of hiding. Of course, with Grandma’s mandate looming over me, I bordered on being panic-stricken. I discovered this tiny preschool prankster hidden under a bed in Grandpa and Grandma’s bedroom, an off-limits area for her and me. During the search I tiptoed in reluctantly. We both know that we never entered that room without Grandma, but my little risk-taking sister had.
Another time she was found in a small room with no
windows or a light in the old garage that Grandpa dubbed “the snake room.” Ironically, Mother admitted recently she hid
the very same way often under the porch at the house where she and her parents
lived.
Fast-forwarding
to the last two years, Angie has lived out the scripture phrase from Proverbs
17:17b that reads …a brother is born for adversity or the interpretation
I like, a sister is born for adversity. She began staying with
Mother if I had a dental or optical appointment or other necessary obligation.
Then
following a test in the summer of 2022, it appeared surgery would be
inevitable. When the word oncologist appeared in the description of my
surgeon, Mother became uneasy. Her anxiety intensified as other appointments and tests became
inevitable. Angie, the take-charge sister, said, “I will take Bernadean to the
appointments.” She took me to every surgeon appointment and additional test
which put Mother’s mind at ease.
Angie
and Ben opened their home for Mother and me during the time I had surgery in October. She changed the décor to predominantly pink in the bedroom where Mother
slept, and Ben lowered the bed to conform to the height of Mother’s own bed at the farm.
Post-surgery,
upon our return to the farm, during November, Angie, Vonda and Greg Goad cared
for the cattle. Angie figured ways to work smarter, not harder in our
cattle feed hauling, a safer procedure for putting out bales, and a few other
tasks. Angie came at least once a week to help with whatever needed her
assistance and has continued that practice.
One Sunday
in May, I returned to find Mother on the floor after a fall that she explained
succinctly, “I was trying to do too much.” We thanked the Lord Mother sustained
no injuries, but Angie reminded me she had suggested more than once about coming
on the weekends, so she began coming each Saturday to be with Mother, especially
on Sunday mornings when I go to church. With Mother’s limited mobility, Angie’s
presence has decreased Mother’s anxiety.
Both
of us are in complete agreement with giving Mother the kind of life she wants –
in the Bend, in her pink house. Angie’s help has been significant, but her
attitude with her willingness to help, without a syllable of complaint, and a
cheerfulness and eagerness to assist even in distasteful, difficult farm tasks
has been invaluable.
Mother
often quoted from I Corinthians 13:4-7 duirng her parenting. Angie demonstrates these verses each
week. They seem the perfect reminder for how we show our love to one another. They
have truly been words my sister has lived by for which I am grateful.
Love suffers long and is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself, is
not puffed up,
Does not behave rudely,
Does not seek its own, is not
provoked,
Thinks no evil,
Does not rejoice in iniquity,
But rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things, Believes all things,
Hopes all things. Endures all things.
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